There’s something weirdly exhilarating about going to work wearing the kind of testicular protection usually reserved for MMA athletes. Of the approximately 2,500 patients he treats every year, only about two of those are suffering from scrotal injury. When our high school gym coaches warned us of the testicular Armageddon that could result from letting our boys dangle unprotected, were they full of shit?

That may be useful if your job requires people trying to kill you, or at least severely damage your yam bag. But for us non-MMA athletes, do we really need that much ball-protecting technology? I vividly remember grim warnings from my high school gym teachers, who lectured us on exactly what would happen if we didn’t wear them. Because when your balls are that ensconced, you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the day won’t end with you being rushed to the emergency room with internal scrotal bleeding.Best case scenario, we’d never be able to have children. We’d twist the wrong way, and that’s it, our reproductive organs would be mangled beyond repair. I’m a parent of a 4-year-old boy, and I’ve been on the receiving end of a barbarous foot or elbow. I’m well aware of what it’s like to receive a crushing ball blast from a kid not old enough yet to realize that scrotums have the same general resistance to blunt force trauma as hard-boiled eggs. When you work out, your body naturally produces sweat, creating a warm and moist environment in which bacteria thrive. Without proper hygiene practices, this can increase the risk of infection and unpleasant odors.

C’mon!” I shout at my son, who can’t believe what his daddy is asking him. “Hit me again! Really throw your whole body into it this time!” This is the greatest night of my life,” my son laughs, falling onto the floor, clutching his ribs with laughter. Strapped wrangler. Great question. I never really gave it much thought. I will offer the following hypotheses for you guys to pander.My son and I just laugh, and he continues to deliver blow after merciless blow onto what should be my soft extremities. The most typical instruction was that PE clothes were to be taken home after Friday class, laundered then inspected for cleanliness during Monday roll call. Some PE teachers went to the effort of marking the uniforms with colored chalk on Friday to assure the garments were washed. This can improve not only your confidence but also your overall enjoyment of exercise. You’ll also be able to remain focused on your workout without any distractions and leave the gym feeling accomplished and proud. Improves circulation

Then he tries on his own cup—the Diamond MMA people were kind enough to send me two—and I give his groin a pounding (although admittedly I pull my punches.) At first, I left it on my desk, like a sort of perverse tip jar. I even briefly used it as a makeshift container for pens and Post-It notes. Wear it properly: Make sure to adjust the waistband and leg straps to ensure a secure fit. The pouch should sit comfortably over the genital area, and the waistband should sit just below the waist. Personally, I went to 3 schools between ages 13- 17, in California and Missouri, and all had the exact same policies. Not just around the office. Even at the gym. Or wherever they work out. They’re essentially free-balling it.

It’s a kink

Improving your range of motion can make a big difference in your athletic performance. It can help you lift more weight, stretch better, and target specific muscles more effectively. In our little town the only store that sold gym clothes had BIKES in all the adult sizes. So the smallest we could get was ADULT SMALL. This was really stupid because the pouches were ample for the most hung adult and us boys were swimming in the pouches. I tried real hard to snug them up. In hindsight I am puzzled that the store owner never offered us kids the YOUTH sizes, and the school coaches who saw the discrepancy never said anything. Besides that, improved circulation can have other health benefits as well. Better blood flow means more oxygen and nutrients are delivered to your muscles, which can help them work more efficiently and recover faster. Testicular violence is nothing to laugh at. But testicular violence in which nobody gets hurt thanks to modern technology designed specifically for professional athletes? Well, that’s just a reminder that we’re living in a remarkable age, unlike anything our high school gym teachers could have imagined. As soon as you try on any of our underwear you’ll be able to quite literally feel the advanced engineering and forward thinking design that’s been applied during development.