Divs who want five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a snooker room, a jacuzzi, a balcony and a view of the Med, and, when asked “What’s your budget? It might’ve worked better if the judges had played it straight instead of trying and failing to be funny. Simple Minds stars Jim Kerr and Charlie Burchill tell me all about their punk past in today’s Sunday Express; I’m also reviewing the week’s TV and talking telly with Julian Lloyd Webber… all in the Sunday Express Review. Cowed by psychologists and platoons of unquestioned fear mongers, it seems we give up our freedoms far too readily.

Garry Bushell Garry Bushell

A thrilling romp down memory lane for anyone married for years and lucky to get the occasional begrudged fumble after weeks of begging. Glen Matlock gets a bum deal too, but the series captures the danger, excitement, sex and savagery of an era that kicked open the doors for a new generation of working-class talent. The virtue-signaling bores say the song is “problematic and unsettling to some supporters because of its subject matter”.Italian Andrew Basso – one-time West End escapologist – seemed to self-sabotage by blackening his water tank with milk stout.

Bushell Garry Bushell

They’d have remembered Tarby’s best line: “I love watching those ladies’ teams play beach volleyball.RIP jazz sax genius Wayne Shorter, a multiple-Grammy winner renowned for his staggering work with the likes of Miles Davis and Art Blakey. KIRSTEN on Second Hand For 50 Grand said getting a new handbag was “like the best climax you ever had”. Swedish Catrin settled for boiled eggs and pickled herring with “salad cream flavoured herring sauce”.

And Nancy, their older, entirely sober designated driver, went along with the others bundling Jack into her boot, tying him up in the woods, pulling down his strides and taking pictures of him in his pants. Rising water levels could swallow it up – an existential threat to the green turtles who lay their eggs here, he said. They spoke of kill-or-be-killed encounters, of bayoneting the enemy at close quarters, and of the stench of trenches caped in crap, guts and blood.A natural broadcaster with a ready wit, Schofield was unflappable live – as he proved in the CBBC Broom Cupboard and BBC1’s Going Live as long ago as the 1980s. It was a rare dollop of tension in a dull series – so far the only thing going down are the ratings. Was it a) Tasha, Love Island b) Megan McCubbin, Springwatch c) Boris Johnson d) probably all of them? Who failed Vera McAlpine when she reported that her 15-year-old daughter had been “seduced” on Top Of The Pops?