That first morning seemed like a military operation, with the alarm sounding and us all having to be ready to leave the house. It was emotional and complicated and delicate for every single person involved and we were all just trying to do our best for this wonderful little girl.

Hearst UK is the trading name of the National Magazine Company Ltd, 30 Panton Street, Leicester Square, London, SW1Y 4AJ. That first day we took her to the park and played on the swings, we fed the ducks and then came home and played with her toys. Highly recommend to anyone experiencing fertility problems, baby loss, grief or people who plan to adopt a child.The journey Lisa and Chris, her husband at the time, take through this book is a bittersweet story of the ups and downs of trying for a baby and it not going the way others take for granted. Excellent book for anyone thinking about adoption and asking themselves whether they are right for it. As someone finding unable to have children now through sudden medical reasons before being able to try, I found it comforting/interesting to hear her views. I suddenly realised the amount of ‘stuff’ you need with a toddler and I didn’t want to be caught out by not having something crucial with me, especially as this would be the first time everybody had seen us together.

But, in the months and years that followed, she discovered that there was more than one way to build a family – and that there is a lot of joy to be found in life’s unexpected detours.Every time it failed, I felt my body had betrayed me, that I hadn’t looked after that precious embryo well enough. I do believe you are given what you need, although it might not be what you think you want at that time. Nobody batted an eyelid; there was too much paperwork to get through and too many questions to be answered concerning Billie’s wellbeing. I think the grief was so acute because the minute the test is positive, you map out your whole life with that child.

We recently went to see the film Instant Family, which is about adoption, with a friend who has two adopted children, too. She had seemed to settle so easily and didn’t seem at all disturbed by the fact that she was coming to stay with us, though I knew from the work we had done that it would all be in her head somewhere. Over two years, my then-partner Chris and I went from trying to get pregnant naturally to having our fertility tested (everything looked normal) and going through IVF three times.In hospital, we found out it was an ectopic pregnancy; it was in a fallopian tube, rather than the womb. I realised what was most important: to love unconditionally, to nurture and mould, to watch a child grow and flourish. When that began to look too complicated legally and also too expensive, I launched us into adoption, not taking a breath. After Lisa had an ectopic pregnancy, she tried many things after to conceive again but sadly she failed to get pregnant. Just a few days later I was at work, suffering the worst cramps and pains, and then collapsed on the floor.