And the more we separate the three, the more we develop and strengthen our adult and we free ourselves up. Harris introduces a diagrammatic representation of two classes of communication between individuals: ‘complementary’ transactions, which can continue indefinitely, and ‘crossed’ transactions, which lead to a cessation of communication (and frequently an argument). Harris suggests that crossed transactions are problematic because they ‘hook’ the Child ego state of one of the participants, leading to negative feelings. Harris suggests that awareness of this possibility, through TA, can give people a choice about how they react when confronted with an interpersonal situation which makes them feel uncomfortable. Harris provides practical suggestions regarding how to stay in the Adult ego state, despite the provocation. People sometimes believe that speaking up is the same as being bossy, pushy, or disrespectful of other people. When we take this aggressive approach, we’re enabling our voice to be heard, but we’re not respecting or listening to the other person.

Yet, “I’m OK – You’re OK” also presents a lot of mistakes and generalization, as does Transactional Analysis in general. this was super helpful to put some things into perspective. While I previously didn’t consider Games People Play to be a good book, I then re-evaluated it again. And I will eventually read it again now that I have a broader understanding. My friend, associate, and stimulant who opened my eyes and ears to the possibility (of I’m OK – You’re OK) with warm best wishes

The phase "I'm OK, You're OK" is one of four life positions that each of us may take. The four positions are: He also further discusses the games that “sinners” play in relation to religion, all of which are extremely interesting. PAC & Power Relations

In parallel with those Parent recordings, the Child is a simultaneous recording of internal events – how life felt as a child. Harris equates these with the vivid recordings that Wilder Penfield was able to cause his patients to re-live by stimulating their brains. Harris proposes that, as adults, when we feel overwhelmed by feelings, it is as if we are re-living those Child memories yet the trigger for re-living them may no longer be relevant or helpful in our lives. To the left is the handwriting of Harris. It comes from a first edition copy of I’m OK – You’re OK that Harris personally gave to Berne in advance of the publication. It reads: The “Not OK” position is not to be found solely on the responses of course. It can also hide in the opening message. The ‘I’m OK, You’re not OK’ person has been decided on within the second or third year of life. They tend to be angry, showing hostility, viewing others as incompetent and not to be trusted from a superior position, belittling them with competitiveness. Without much conscience, they view faults within situations are due to others, and not themselves. 'I’m not OK, You’re OK' I’m not OK, you’re not OK’ is described in TA as a ‘hopeless’ position, and if it happens in the context of a counselling relationship, it’s probably best for you to try a different counsellor. At the first meeting between a therapist and a new client, both parties learn a lot. Mutual respect is really important as you both venture into a ‘therapeutic relationship’.Harris' assertion that no child grows up with the life position I'm OK - You're OK without therapy has been criticised because it turns TA into a quasi-religious Soteriology which wants to rescue people from the misery of their messed-up relationship with themselves. [2] However the assertion runs counter to other TA authorities. [ How to reference and link to summary or text] A wealth of information is located at ericberne.com regarding Transactional Analysis, Games People Play, and a biography of Eric Berne, amongst other resources.

Central to most religious practices is a Child acceptance of authoritarian dogma as an act of faith, with limited, if not absent, involvement of the Adult. As several decades have elapsed since Harris published I'm OK, You're OK, some of the cultural references which were relevant at the time of the book's publication are now less accessible to contemporary readers not familiar with the period. My first thought about the man was an automated one. This means that I might often think similarly without even noticing. In fact, that is sometimes the case. Thoughts like this have the power to create a certain destiny. Which brings us to the topic of life script:Against these criticisms, the book does not set out to be an academic or theoretical introduction to Transactional Analysis. Nor does it attempt to deal with advanced topics in psychopathology. It is a mass-market book and it has the positives (accessibility, practicality) and negatives (simplification, shallowness) of that approach. [ How to reference and link to summary or text] Once a person has decided on a life position that will often remain fixed unless there is considerable effort put in to change the underlying beliefs and decisions put in about life. The goal of transactional analysis psychotherapy is to bring into awareness, explore, challenge, and change an ineffective life script. This is based on the belief that because we were the original creators of our own script we have the power to change it. It’s what George Thompson in Verbal Judo refers to when he says that the biggest skill of learning verbal judo is to non react to the emotional communication of others. Types of Transaction