This mindset (stigmatising discomfort) is one of the main reasons that negative thoughts, emotions, and internal experiences are difficult to handle; we feel they shouldn't be happening. So not only do we feel bad, we then feel bad about feeling bad. Responsibility Transfer ==> Meditation exercise transferring the weight of all concerns onto an all-powerful entity

This book is for anyone that is looking to up their social game or get ahead in their career. As Cabane explains in the book, charisma can help with both your work and personal life, so it’s perfect for someone who wants to be better at networking, give better presentations, close sales more often, land the next job, make new friends, or even get better at dating. If you’re rolling your eyes at the idea of a book helping you become more likable right now, this book will probably surprise you. There’s no “hocus-pocus” or “learn to love yourself” mantras here. Each lesson is filled with practical, real-world-ready tips, and Cabane explains why each one is effective every step of the way. What You’ll Get Self-compassion as three-step process: 1) Realizing that you’re experiencing difficulties; 2) Responding with kindness and understanding toward yourself; 3) Realizing these difficulties are experienced by all humansthis is a book that i finished, and automatically felt like i should read it again just to further absorb all of the points that she presented. cabane did a great job of distilling something as seemingly elusive as charisma down to attainable points that anyone can practice. she gave very practical tips that i have remembered randomly throughout my day. Remember that other’s body language states can be signs of something else (e.g. physical discomfort) Imagine your mental chatter as coming from a radio; turn the volume down or put the radio to the side. main obstacles—physical and mental discomfort—which disrupt your state of mind and reduce your charisma; and

Protect Yourself when dealing with difficult people ==> with empathy + with oxytocin + compassion + Prepare thoroughly (using all techniques above) When the verbal and nonverbal are congruent, the nonverbal amplifies the verbal ==> When they are not congruent, the nonverbal is trusted over the verbal Vocal Power ==> Lower pitch and tone + Projected volume + Slow, measured tempo with frequent pauses Depersonalize the experience. Observe it as a scientist might:“How interesting, there are self-critical thoughts arising.” Defeating Parkinson’s Law (“Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.”): Mentally shift deadlines upUse these techniques anytime you’re having persistent negative thoughts and you’d like to lessen their effects.

Charismatic people have a natural magnetism that draws people to them. Charisma isn’t an inborn talent, but a set of skills and behaviors that can be learned with the right tools and practice. In this book, Olivia Fox Cabane presents strategies, exercises and tips to help you develop your personal charisma and magnetism. In The Charisma Myth summary, you’ll find the answers to questions like: What’s charisma? How to be charismatic? Is there an ideal charismatic style for me?

Chapter 5 – Creating Charismatic Mental States

To practice your endurance in uncomfortable situations, find a quiet, comfortable spot to sit with a partner, and set a timer for thirty seconds.