For example, I would not recommend trying soft swinging to fix problems in the relationship or if one partner is doing it to please the other. It was then that John told me about the world of swinging. He explained to me what it was and how it worked. Like most, I was baffled that such a community existed. I started reading up and educating myself about the world of swinging. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t intrigued. Soft swinging involves non-penetrative sexual relations outside of a marriage or primary relationship, as opposed to swinging or a ‘full swap’ where two or more couples will exchange partners and have sexual intercourse. The whole premise is that the level of intimacy is agreed upon prior to any sexual act. Taylor and her husband are part of a community that agrees to swap partners but draws the line at penetrative sex.

We settled into the familiar comfort of not having to hide anything; not having to pretend that we define our love with sexual fidelity. In having the opportunity to be ourselves, we were able to truly relax. And that’s what vacations are for, right? One idea that has stayed with me ever since is that there is no such thing as “normal.” Normal is a social construct. The actions and ways of life repeatedly carried out by the people around us are not always the only way to live. Instead, they are an outcome cultivated by society over time.

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That’s when I understood. The reason John wanted to try things differently had nothing to do with our love or care for each other. Safety first. Make sure the people throwing the party have enforceable no-tolerance and policies and consent monitors. When done properly, soft swinging can be a great way for couples to keep sex exciting and build intimacy and connection,’ explains Isabelle.

Kenzie, who has been in the lifestyle for about 13 years, laughingly referenced yelling at her husband out of jealousy at times. But that doesn’t mean non-monogamy doesn’t work just like yelling about the dishes doesn’t mean a marriage is in shambles. You talk through it. You should take time to talk it through and process your thoughts and feelings around it,’ she says. I want to make it clear that I was never forced into this, nor did he threaten to leave our marriage if I didn’t embark on this journey. What convinced me to try swinging was my pursuit of a more honest and open marriage and exploring my own personal curiosities. Image: Tey Liang Jin / RICE File Photo A New Beginning How she got into it:“I grew up with this idea that there’s not just one person for anyone and that we can enjoy being with multiple people, as well as the idea that you can have sex without having emotion tied to it. My husband knew that I was bi-curious when we met, so on the anniversary of our first date, we decided to explore and went to a swingers club.”From the onset, I wasn’t jealous. I was, in fact, proud of John’s endurance, and I credit it all to his training with me. Warning: As you’d expect, this week’s diary features some explicit details about sex, so it’s definitely NSFW. Monday I enjoyed both of their company over the next few hours, but afterwards, I was hardly able to stand. We spent much of the day exploring the beautiful scenery with our friends, reaffirming that the bond between swingers extends well beyond the bedroom. It’s also okay if you realize that swinging isn’t for you! Couples close their relationships because they don’t have the time to attend parties or sort through profiles, and reopen again later. Sometimes you don’t have the bandwidth for the extra communication because work is too stressful. Maybe this experiment helped you realize you only need a sex party once a year when the kids are at camp. You also just might not enjoy sharing your loved one sexually — and that is totally fine.

You should talk about why you want to do it, what it would bring to your relationship, what boundaries you need to set, and how you would handle potential problems,’ Isabelle tells Metro.co.uk. I learned that just because you love someone doesn’t necessarily mean you have to only sleep with them for the rest of your life. It’s up to every couple to decide for themselves.Opening up a relationship isn’t something couples should rush into without clear communication and fully understanding the expectations of both parties.