Straight men go from drinking from boobs to obsessing about boobs to having a pair of boobs of their own. With that in mind, we put together the absolute best and funniest list of jokes about breasts. Tits up and enjoy. I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training? Offended, the second friend said, “Why’d ya say that?” Smirking, the first friend replied, “Oh, c’mon — I’m just tittin’.” I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"? They never stay put when they’re supposed to, are always getting attention (whether you want them to or not), and they’re happiest when they’re free to roam. Well,” says the camel, “I think that’s a strange question from somebody whose wiener is on his face.” Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. “Ouch! That really hurt!” the first friend exclaims. To which the other replied, “I’m so sorry. I had the breast intentions.” The editor specifically told her she couldn’t print the words breast or boobs. The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally, she handed the editor the following report: “Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations to her ( . )( . )” China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you. I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

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I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.