How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them. First Peter Murphy does it, then Andrew Eldritch does it, and then the rest of them argue endlessly over who did it better.

This is one of the many variants of the Rome meme doing the rounds, but I like the smart-assedness of it, neatly taking on hipster culture and Gothism in one swoop.

gothic jokes

I met a gothic illusionist recently, and he said he could make himself “disappear” into thin air. I replied, “How very vanishingly dark of you!”

A goth was walking through the cemetery when they saw a skeleton playing the violin. The goth said, “That’s the most metal thing I’ve ever seen.”Once, a goth went to a fortune-teller. The fortune-teller said, “I see darkness in your future.” The goth replied, “Finally, someone who gets me.” Once, a goth met a ghost in a haunted house. The ghost asked, “Why are you here?” The goth responded, “I heard this place was hip and haunted.” Ya da does five yard sprints in Sports Direct when he's trying his new trainers on' - Stephen Nixon The gothic astronomer said his favorite planet was Saturn, because it had a dark and mysterious ring to it. The gothic politician promised to lead the country into a brighter future, shaded with dark promises.

Graveyard Shift Cafe (Graveyard Shift is a play on working late at night, fitting the gothic theme) Why couldn’t the gothic couple find a place to eat? Because they wanted something a little macabre. Over their career, they would build on the more romantic, affected form of goth, which culminated in the ballad ‘Butterfly on a Wheel’, but long before that, they were producing more raw works that ranged from ‘Serpents Kiss’ to ‘Severina’. However, the pinnacle of their early period is ‘Wasteland’, the opener of their debut album God’s Own Medicine. This is one of those flash points in music history; there is before “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” and there is after. Bauhaus took the expansive atmosphere of Dub and turned the lights off. Only a bare minimum of instruments guide us through the darkness (with what sounds like a single, lit candle, of course). It’s nine minutes of simmering tension, which never quite boils over, but instead leaves the listener profoundly unsettled, just like the best horror movies. “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” truly was the blueprint: vocals oozing morose melodrama, guitars scratching at their insides and bass lines grooving to something much darker than the “Monster Mash,” and the atmosphere of that moment right after an act of incredible violence, silence so loud it’s unbearable.– Ben Cohn Why did the gothic teacher love the sunny weather? Because it provided the perfect contrast for her brooding personality.Jonathan Sinister’s Antiques (Jonathan Sinister is a play on “Jonathan Harker,” a character from “Dracula”)