Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder teaching Ray Charles how to drive. Emily and Katy are standing on a bridge when Emily says, "Have you ever wanted to pee over the bridge like guys do?" A blonde finally finished the puzzle in 6 months and got excited when she read that it was designed for 2-4 years.

When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears. Dave was Guy: “Google is definitely a woman. It makes suggestions before you even finish what you’re trying to say.” A man ask a pretty women: if there is a scale of a person's looking, on the left is ugly, and on the right is pretty, so what do you think of me?I want you to know that I am the man of the house and my word is law. I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert. Then, after dinner, A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about. Here is a list of funny pregnant woman jokes and even better pregnant woman puns that will make you laugh with friends. What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common? You left it in too long.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So we stopped playing chess. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s not the light bulb that needs changing. They walk to a bar and the man with the Lab puts on a pair of sunglasses just before he goes in. The bartender sees him enter and says “Sorry, no dogs allowed!”. Ready for this, the man responds, “But he’s my guide dog!”. The bartender immediately apologizes and leads him to a free table. A farmer has a new handsome assistant. One morning they want to go out into the fields to work. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;)My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a pineapple at his face. I got fired from my job at the library... Apparently the book on women's rights doesn't belong in the fiction section. Even someone who is no good is capable of putting a smile to your face, like when they’re falling down the stairs after you pushed them What's a joke that was funny in early America, but is even more hilarious in the present day middle east?

The Russian finally says, “They have nothing to wear, no house to live in, only one apple to eat, and they keep being told that they’re in heaven. They’re obviously Russian.” * * * A couple of offensive (and very messed up) de@d baby jokes Feminism? No thanks. I prefer gender equality. Water? No thanks. I prefer H20.” — kalifornias-fashion.tumblr.com He writes, “Head was found on the main avenew.” Then he crosses it out. “Head was found on the main avenoo.” He crosses that out too. “Head was found on the main avineu.” He shakes his head and crosses that out as well. He answered, “Well, I have no arms so I can’t hit you, I have no legs so I can’t run away with another woman, and I’d say that I’m quite skilled in bed.” She raised an eyebrow and asked “How do you know you’re skilled in bed?”Why do women make great detectives? Because they can remember every single detail… from ten years ago! You are so hairy that when you take your dog out for a walk, you always get pet by strangers before him.

Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot. drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, 'Is there a 710 on this car ?' Are you looking for a collection of funny, dirty, and flirty women jokes? If so, this is the place. We’ve had a lot of fun compiling these and hope you enjoy reading them as much as we did. My girlfriend asked me to see things from a woman's point of view...so I looked out the kitchen window.And another man stood up and said, "Bargain" and the woman said, "Thanks, that means a great deal." Since the pandemic started, my wife just stands there sadly looking through the window. I should probably go let her in. Just like with the handj0b, the blowj0b ends up being absolutely amazing, way better than he could have ever imagined. The man is feeling a level of pleasure he’s never felt before, and realizes that if her handj0bs and blowj0bs are that good, then how good must it feel to take it to the next step with her? They find his tattoos, piercings, and haircut completely gross. Later, after the boyfriend leaves, the girl’s mom says, “I don’t think he’s a very kind person, dear.” What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.