It’s important to note that just because porn is labeled as “ethical” or “feminist,” it doesn’t mean everyone involved was treated fairly and respectfully. With a little digging, though, it’s possible to find content that’s ethically produced and doesn’t go against your personal values, according to Rashid-Dawdy. One smart strategy is to look for content that’s produced or directed by someone who has worked as a performer, and a simple way to do that is to see whether any of the performers featured in the video were also involved in its creation, as SELF previously reported. (We’ll also leave SELF’s list of hot audio porn options here for your listening pleasure.) 12. Eliminate distractions. Tuning in to your body’s sensations (and getting out of your head) is key for enjoying masturbation—and sex in general—and one way to develop this type of mindfulness is to expand your definition of self-pleasure beyond sexual touch, Bianca I. Laureano, AASECT-certified sexuality educator, tells SELF. This could mean using a scent you enjoy in the bath and paying attention to changes in the temperature of the water, or applying lotion and noting how different parts of your skin feel, she says. With your palm facing upwards, slowly insert your index finger about 2–3 inches into your partner’s vagina. Keeping your fingertip flat, push against her vaginal ceiling.

This is also why fingering yourself can be a powerful way to get to know the ins and outs of your pleasure zones and ways to access them to achieve full-blown bliss. Stimulating the many many nerves around the vulva and in the vaginal opening can help release feel-good hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, increase blood circulation for added intensity, and reduce the risk of pregnancy or STIs when compared to penetrative sex. Fingering can also help build trust and confidence as you and your partners form a deeper understanding of what gets their juices flowing. Better Control Sometimes known as the “deep spot,” its official name is the anterior fornix erogenous zone. Like the G-spot, it’s also located on the inside front wall of the vagina, but it’s higher up – right in front of the cervix. Fingering is one of the best ways to pleasure a female-bodied person. It allows you to give them really targeted, focused stimulation, and can be one of the best ways to help her have an orgasm. Compared to oral sex or intercourse, it’s also relatively non-taxing for the giver. Here’s what you need to know to finger someone with a vulva. His touch feels even more electrifying when he wets his fingertips with my juices. There are few things hotter than feeling him spread my moisture in the valleys between my lips.Fingering” is a slightly adolescent term for what can be a wonderful thing – stimulating the vagina from the inside. When we’re fingering someone with a vulva the right way, it’s almost like playing an instrument; we’re in control, using our own sensitive appendages to access their most sensitive places, propelling them to new dimensions of bliss. (Not at all like fumbling in a closet after prom, we hope.) A human being is not a video game, and unless that’s their kink (who are we to judge?) most people don’t much like being feverishly worked on without their partner listening to them. So be ready to pay attention to their whole self, with your whole self. That’s the key to unforgettable intimacy. How to Finger A Vagina: Internal Anatomy Having this full range of motion and control at your fingertips can help you build a sense of where exactly your or your partner’s most sensitive areas are and how they like them touched — which can come in handy for future fingering sessions and other bedroom activities, too. The first thing to keep in mind is that not everyone with a vagina can orgasm from internal stimulation alone. There’s nothing wrong with them if they can’t, even though they may have heard many messages to the contrary throughout their life.

To intensify her pleasure, use your free hand to stimulate the head of her clitoris at the same time.Plus, as Harris reminds us , “the entire vulva is a potential erogenous zone.” Lavish attention on every crevice to intensify your partner’s arousal. A lot of people get squirrely about touching the testicles because they’re afraid of hurting the… Read more Do some warmups If your partner enjoys it, you can repeat this finger-curl along her vaginal walls and floor. Focus on the sensitive areas nearest to her entrance.

The right time for fingering or penile penetration is all about whenever you and your partners feel truly ready to and excited by the idea of doing so. This area is connected to the hood of the clitoris,” says sexologist Jess O’Reilly. That’s why touching the pubic mound can feel so sensual. A neutral environment — like the kitchen — encourages more relaxed conversation. It’s often easier to broach sensitive topics when you’re not already in the middle of having sex. If you’ve ever had an extra fun time in bed with a partner thanks to a new-to-you sex position, you won’t be surprised to learn that one of the best masturbation tips is to switch up your moves. “Different positions bring different sensations and can create more intense orgasms,” Meka Nicole, LPC, sex educator, tells SELF. To feel each sensory experience more intensely, Dr. Brito suggests applying some of the principles of mindfulness to your masturbation sessions. This can mean noticing and becoming curious about your bodily sensations and erotic thoughts, as well as being nonjudgmental about your experience. “Try to let yourself release guilt and shame,” she says. “If negative thoughts arise, imagine yourself placing them on a cloud or in a stream that carries them away, which can help you detach from them.” (And if sexual fears or insecurities are regularly getting in the way of your pleasure, you might need to practice sexual self-acceptance or consider working through these issues with a therapist if that’s accessible for you.)Not sure where to begin with toys? “I strongly recommend starting with a clitoral vibrator, particularly one with multiple speeds and patterns,” she says. “But, if you know you like combining external and internal stimulation, then go with a rabbit vibrator.” 8. Know that less might be more—pleasurable, that is. Nicole suggests sitting on your knees for greater range of motion and easier full-body exploration, getting on all fours for increased leg and pelvic muscle tension (which can intensify sensations in those areas), and sitting in a chair for better access to the vulva. “Making love to yourself can be just as adventurous as making love to someone else,” she says. Knowing that you have novel positions to look forward to can also up your masturbation anticipation, so the experience is even more pleasurable when you finally get yourself alone. Aim to finger your partner for about 20 minutes, especially if you have been together before or they have never had an orgasm with you. This gives you both time to relax into the experience. You’ll need long fingers to access it, and it may help to have your partner pull their knees to their chest to shorten their vagina for an easier reach. Some people who don’t have G-spot orgasms do have A-spot orgasms, so lube up and give it a try. The cervix. While the clitoris is the center of many vulva owners’ pleasure, solely focusing on it excludes other body parts that can seriously up your enjoyment—think of the difference between a foot rub and a total body massage. “Exploring different parts of your body—with your hand or a vibrator—can create a slow build to orgasm, or you might find yourself having different types of orgasm that you haven’t experienced before,” sex educator Nat DiFrank tells SELF. “This exploration can also be really helpful for people who experience gender dysphoria or have sexual trauma that might make touching or centering genitals uncomfortable.”

Tap this region delicately with your fingertip. I’ve found that ten seconds of rapid tapping here is a surefire way to excite me and engorge my clit!Kerner suggests inserting your thumb just inside her vaginal entrance. Although it’s shorter than your index finger, it’s wider. Hence, it can stimulate plenty of nerve endings in the sensitive outer third of your lady’s vagina.