Three days after delivering him into the world, she sat with Teddy as he took his last breaths, and tucked him in for the final time. Please whatever you do send them a heart emoji, I don’t even care, just send them something that shows that you are there, and whether they want to talk to you now, or they want to talk to you in a few months time when they’re feeling they can talk to people again, just let them know you’re there. I followed Elle on Instagram and had learnt about her son Teddy and his death only a few days after his birth through her photos and stories, shared with bravery and love.

In this honest, beautifully written and hopeful exploration of mothering, Elle explores how she navigated a parenthood that no one had prepared her for.You'll learn valuable lessons to help your friends and/or family members who are dealing with something as harsh as a child loss. I didn't know how much I would long for people to say my son Teddy's name, to not treat him like he didn't exist.

Don’t just ignore it and hope it’ll go away, then in 6 months time pop up in their inbox and ask if they want to come out for a party. Elle talks about her loss and that of her family’s journey with an openness and honesty that is very moving. I was recently talking to a lady who had lost her son as a child and I said ‘please may I ask his name? I was sobbing in some places and smiling in others, I wanted to give Elle a huge hug in many places, you can feel every emotion in this book and it is so beautifully well written. You made it sound like it was the end of the world for you, and if that's the case, what does that mean for me?So obviously there’s going to be a huge change in gear and your mentality, and someone else who’s been through it gets that, because they feel exactly the same way. I have followed Elle for a while on Instagram and love her blog and her day to day post about general things. I think it’s so important when you’re talking about maternity, when you’re talking about motherhood, that everybody’s narrative gets an opportunity to be heard: I come across a lot of women who have lost children, or had recurring miscarriages or stillbirths, and haven’t been able to go on and have any more children, but still consider themselves a mother.

At times it was difficult to read through the tears, but this is one of the books I will remember for a long time. I thought I knew Elle’s story really well from social media but after reading this I feel like it’s opened my eyes to so much more. Well written and evokes so many emotions that I have to admit, I cried a good few times whilst reading it. You know how therapeutic it is to have a really good clear out at home, and that whole ‘tidy desk, tidy mind’ thing of deciding to have a really good clear up, or whatever? The strange thing about our fear of talking about losing a baby is that though one in four women will lose a baby at some point, most pregnant women are more prepared for heartburn, swollen ankles, and morning sickness, but there’s nothing to prepare you for the chance of the worst happening.As I spoke to Elle that day I decided to invite her onto the podcast to talk about her version of motherhood with her friend Michelle Cottle, whose daughter Orla was born sleeping in 2016. Elle is the voice (or words in this case) for - I dare to say - all the bereaved parents who have to, daily, face a society that is not available to deal with the 'discomfort' of baby loss. Experiencing secondary infertility after the death of her son in 2016, Elle went on a journey of questions, drugs, tests, loss, frustration and three rounds of IVF. It is written from the heart, and I’m sure will resonate with any parent who has experienced such a loss. The human race never ceases to surprise me: The person who you think wouldn’t know what to say, suddenly becomes an absolute hero of mine, because they say all the right things.

I really appreciate how Elle challenges our definition of motherhood and points out that many mothers continue on in the journey without their precious little ones - empty arms, nothing to show for their motherhood. So maybe I go at it from a selfish perspective now, and think ‘Why should I have to swallow my words and my opinions so you don’t feel awkward? I’m not saying I felt even a fraction of what Elle experienced - and what she still faces - but it made my heart ache and moved me to tears (you’re going to need tissues if you read it). I chose this book to educate myself how to better support the bereaved/bereaving families I work with. Nobody had written a really honest account of what it feels like to go through that, and how do you start to think about the positive stuff again?Despite this, I found myself filled with hope reading this, Wright's outlook is inspiring and beautiful and I adored her thoughts on events. This is a very good book for both those who have lost a baby and for those who care about someone who has. Yes, I cried reading this book – it’s impossible not to feel emotional when following a mother’s account of losing her child, but it’s also layered with Elle’s trademark humour. Not just people who have necessarily been affected by the loss of a child themselves, or a friend, or a family member, or a work colleague; but people who very well might be at some stage. In the UK, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss, but conversations about the heartbreakingly frequent experience are few and far between.