The Best Ever Book of Dutch Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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The Best Ever Book of Dutch Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

The Best Ever Book of Dutch Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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Fish are part of numerous Dutch idioms. For example, it is also not unusual to say someone is ‘as healthy as a fish’ ( zo gezond als een vis). The herring, in particular is a traditional food and herring season is an annual event. 26. To have something under the knee The Dutch are known to swear and call each other names. There are some bad words. But they like to mix it up, and make it a bit funnier. A typical example of being direct and saying what you want, that might be a bit offensive, but should not be taken like that.

Humor is a very important part of Dutch culture, and the Dutch love to joke around. If you’re looking for some funny Dutch jokes to make you laugh, then look no further!There are two things I hate in this world... People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch. An important aspect of Dutch etiquette involves having good timekeeping habits. The Dutch tend to take punctuality very seriously, so make sure you arrive at appointments on time. If you’re running more than five minutes late, you should inform the people expecting you. In addition, Dutch people are known to schedule plans weeks or even months in advance. With that in mind, it’s best to avoid showing up at someone’s house unannounced. It’s particularly wise to avoid interrupting someone during dinner, which usually starts between 17:00 and 19:00. Conversation and communication in the Netherlands Hoe noem je een dinosaurus als hij in Nederland woont? Een Nederlandsaurus Rex! (What do you call a dinosaur when he lives in the Netherlands? A Dutcherasaurus Rex!) Why did the Dutch football team bring a ladder to the game? In case they had to climb the “score”-board.

Meaning: That you will take care of something, fix something or get the job done. 32. Get a fresh nose Short netherlands puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The netherlands humour may include short dutch jokes also. A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.” These jokes should not be confused with racist jokes, because these kind of jokes are much more aggressive. Despite being very open and direct, the Dutch can also be reserved and private. As a result, they seldom initiate interactions with strangers. When you engage in conversations with Dutch people, it’s a good idea to be aware of some topics that are considered impolite. In general, the Dutch avoid discussing subjects that could place people in any kind of hierarchy. For instance, you shouldn’t discuss money or personal wealth with people you don’t know well. On the other hand, Dutch people are much more open when speaking about certain topics that are taboo in other cultures, such as sex. Body languageA spa hotel? It’s like a normal hotel, only in reception there’s a picture of a pebble.” – Rhod Gilbert Since learning Afrikaans, I’ve discovered a bunch of hilarious Afrikaans expressions. But, they can’t take all the credit for these linguistic gems. Afrikaans is actually the offspring of the Dutch language which formed after the Dutch settled in South Africa in 1652. The jokes about neighbours are more good-natured, because, in practice, neighbours usually get along quite well. The Dutch actually don’t hate the Belgians at all. On the contrary; they find them their most sympathetic neighbours . That’s why Belgian jokes are mainly about the fact that our southern neighbours are a bit stupid. In reality, however, gender-based discrimination in the Netherlands still exists. Statistics from the European Commission on gender pay disparity reveal that women earn 14% less on average than their male counterparts. In an effort to confront gender inequality in the workplace, the Netherlands passed legislation in 2021 that requires large Dutch companies to appoint more women to leadership roles. According to the bill, all listed companies must meet a quota that ensures women make up at least one-third of their supervisory board.

My phone will ring at 2am and my wife’ll look at me and go, “Who’s that calling at this time?” I say, “I don’t know. If I knew that we wouldn’t need the bloody phone.” – Lee Evans What's the difference between a funny Dutch man and a tube? one is a hollow cylinder while the other is a silly hollander.Origin: Some would say that the ‘ bril’ part comes from the shape of the toilet seat which resembles a spectacle of sorts hovering over the ‘eye’ of the toilet bowl. Another explanation could be it’s referencing the ‘shelf’ inside dutch toilets (instead of a water-filled bowl) which serves as a platter to display the contents of your bowels for closer examination. Yep, I’m grossed out too! 12. Peanut cheese f**... under the bed sheets is no longer called a dutch oven. It's now called a covid test. If you can smell it you don't have covid. Origin: The actual origin likely has little to do with the subject of cleanliness and more to do with the lesser know meaning of the word ‘ schoon’ meaning beautiful/fair. Similar to the French term belle-mere, schoonmoeder thus refers to your ‘beloved’ mother-in-law. Netherland police found a little hole in the wall of women's changing rooms Policemen are looking into it now.

Meaning: Similar to the English expression “People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones”. You should not criticise other unless yourself are without fault. When visiting a Dutch person’s home, it’s good etiquette to bring a small gift for the host or hostess. It’s best to avoid gifting very expensive or lavish items, as this can make the host feel uncomfortable. Instead, bring something simple such as flowers, chocolates, or a bottle of wine, if they drink. Rather than waiting to open the gift in private, most Dutch people open gifts immediately upon receiving them. Meaning: Similar to the English expression “to rain cats and dogs”; to rain a lot. Since it rains a lot in the Netherlands, there are equally A LOT of expressions about rain.

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Why did the Dutchman bring a ladder to the bar? Because he wanted to be the “high”light of the party! Outside the Randstad, you may find that religion plays a more significant part in life than elsewhere. While most of the Netherlands is Protestant, southern and eastern regions are traditionally Catholic. For instance, you might celebrate Carnaval in February or March if you live in Limburg. On the other hand, in rural Protestant areas, shops might be closed and activities discouraged on Sundays. Tips on culture and etiquette in the Netherlands



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