Okay, obligatory scene of a cute, precocious kid urging their parent to follow the path of true love. (I must say, I have never once urged my parents to do this.) Can I just commend the makers of this film for its fleet 93 minutes? This is how long every movie should be (ahem, hello, The Fabelmans).

Speaking of respect, why is the idea of going to the three-story Olive Garden in Times Square being presented as a joke? My culture is not a costume! There’s little I love more in this world than a holiday movie, whether it’s excellent (see: The Family Stone, do not @ me, that movie is perfect) or, uh, somewhat less than stellar ( A Castle for Christmas, I’m looking at you). Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter to me if a holiday film is well crafted or total hot garbage; they’re all seasonal and treacly sweet, just like the peppermint bark I love to inhale at this time of year, and I’m always thrilled to curl up with them.Zoey bonds with the dad-daughter pair over hospital coffee for some reason, and we learn that they live in L.A., while Zoey lives in Queens (again, respect to the borough with the best food in New York). Oh, yeah, important detail: Douchey BF’s concussion has affected his memory, and he’s basically gaslit into believing he was planning to propose to Zoey all along.

The cute dad-daughter pair are FaceTiming with his girlfriend, Vanessa, who’s having margaritas with her friends somewhere beautiful (respect). The daughter is still freaked out about seeing a man get hit by a car, which...fair. I don’t personally understand why the jewelry mix-up is such a big deal, but it appears to bring a lot of issues between Vanessa and Ethan to the forefront, and they break up. Aw, Zoey is inspiring Ethan to write his book. (Did I mention that he’s a creative writing professor?) On that note, I recently watched the new Zoey Deutch–led holiday romance Something From Tiffany’s, and you know I had thoughts. Let’s dive into them, shall we? Zoey Deutch is cooking up a storm with her friend, and I must say, I find this woman extremely charming in pretty much every role.

Hmm, Zoey is dating a guy who got a write-up in New York magazine for being a good tattoo artist. Sounds like a classic guy you date in your 20s, am I right?

Wow, Zoey is wearing an extremely important Zabar’s tee on Christmas morning. Hanukkah representation, IMO! Oh, shit: Zoey finds what appears to be a ring (it’s a tiny wrapped Tiffany’s box, anyway) and freaks out.Ethan finally proposes to Vanessa, and she’s actually excited about planning the wedding, so we know she’s a female monster. Vanessa loves the earrings the douchey BF got for Zoey, but Zoey appears mildly stressed about getting a ring. Ah, and now we get to the crux of it all: Zoey’s douchey BF and the dad (Ethan) apparently switched Tiffany’s boxes while he was delivering first aid.