This also serves as a reminder that people care way more about how you say something and the level of authenticity of your connection than they care about the actual content of what you’re saying. (Although obviously make the content excellent too.) Get out of your head Should you expect to feel confident at work? Or is it normal to feel disillusioned and fed up at least some of the time? I mean, it is work. It is not your life. Amid all the noise and drama about quiet quitting, generational differences, hybrid working patterns, flexible hours, “the Great Resignation” and whatever latest workplace trend is in the headlines, there’s a temptation to believe that you need to love your work and feel very confident in it to be a fully functioning member of society. We tend to forget that most people neither love their work nor hate it. They just do it reasonably uneventfully, get paid and then go home. Sometimes that is the definition of professional confidence: getting the job done. But what if that’s not enough? Drawing on research, practical tips and lessons from the worlds of comedy, film, television, politics and sport, Viv Groskop offers a masterclass in how you can access this new form of confidence at any time. All, crucially, with no risk of anyone thinking that you are your own biggest fan. This compassionate, funny and motivating book is about how to have effortless confidence. The kind of confidence that comes not from anything particular that you say or do but from how you hold yourself, your ‘status’. At its heart is the idea that ‘we are all always giving off signals and “tells” to others that signify – consciously or unconsciously – how we expect them to treat us.’ It sounds counterintuitive but the biggest pitfall with confidence is thinking that it’s about presenting the best version of yourself and letting everyone see how amazing you are.

Drawing on research, practical tips and lessons from the worlds of comedy, film, television, politics and sport, this is a masterclass in how to project status, minimise self-doubt and move effortlessly through life. All, crucially, with no risk of anyone thinking that you are your own biggest fan. In a series of chapters in which she approaches the idea of status from different perspectives –for example ‘be like final-scene Sandy and Danny’ – Viv Groskop gives a mixture of friendly encouragement, deep dive psychology and practical tips such as ‘leave a gap and a space for a thought to land with the other person.’Before going on stage she recommends immersing yourself in the energy of the room. And Angela will always make sure her eyes look amazing.

This week I am really excited to finally unveil my new book…. HAPPY HIGH STATUS: HOW TO BE EFFORTLESSLY CONFIDENT! This book is coming out on June 29. If you can make people laugh at work then you are doing OK. Photograph: Getty Images 5. Make people (and yourself) laugh She had a tip about using written notes or prompt cards. If you’re going to have anything written – or printed – on a piece of paper in front of you, then only use the top third of the paper. Lucy Oates, senior commissioning editor, bought world English language rights to Happy High Status: How to Be Effortlessly Confident at auction from Cathryn Summerhayes at Curtis Brown. It will be published by Torva in June 2023.Can you be both insecure and confident at the same time? In this first of a series of Happy High Status takeover episodes, Viv talks to award-winning comedian Tom Allen, star of The Apprentice: You’re Fired and Bake-Off: Extra Slice, about his life on and off stage and what he has learned about managing nerves, coping with the reactions of audiences and critics and, most of all, living with self-criticism. Tom tells Viv that it’s a mistake to assume that comedians perform from a place of self-assurance: instead he has learned that his version of happy high status comes from being “confidently insecure." (Happy high status is a term from acting and comedy that is a sort of shorthand for “your best self.”) He shares tips on dressing for confidence (like Fred Astaire, please), how to avoid being apologetic around people when you really should be taking charge and how to feel entitled to speak. How do you “make space for yourself” in a hostile environment? How do you recover your confidence when it’s at a low ebb? Confidence gets a bad rap. We struggle to define what it really is. We envy it in others and want it for ourselves. And yet also we despise people – and even ridicule them – when they have “too much” of it. Not that we can agree on how much confidence is too much. One person’s version of smooth self-assurance can come across to someone else as the worst kind of smug. It’s something we’ve all heard contradictory messages about since we were children. Remember the Maya Angelou quote: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Be the best listener and/or observer in the room

Everyone wants to feel at home and at ease with themselves. We all want to be able to face any situation, both in life and at work, without feeling daunted, intimidated or stressed. But no-one wants to be labelled over-confident, arrogant or smarmy, or to get caught up in their own hype. So how can you feel authentically, properly confident - without the cringe, and without pretending to be something you're not? Oates said: “I have found Viv Groskop’s authoritative yet compassionate guides immeasurably valuable, so I’m thrilled to be publishing her new book on something we all want a bit more of: confidence. A trusted voice in the personal development space, Viv’s smart advice will help so many readers embrace their own innate and authentic confidence, not only boosting their performance, but improving the way they feel about themselves too.” This is, in fact, the fastest route to being annoying. If you take the focus away from yourself and put it onto others, this has two useful consequences. A speaker who takes their time can appear more confident that one who speaks at a mile a minute.’ Photograph: Getty Images 1. Listen more, talk less and rethink your attitude towards silence

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Groskop hosts an excellent podcast about public speaking called How To Own The Room, and this book does have a focus on speech giving and presentations. But I also found its ideas really useful in other areas of my life, and it would also definitely be useful to anyone looking for the confidence to expand their #bookstagram presence. Happy high status is a new way of thinking about confidence and how you relate to yourself. It's how actors and comedians enhance their presence on stage and screen. It lends strength and energy to your interactions, big and small, and is a way of projecting status, minimising self-doubt and moving effortlessly through life. How do you achieve and stay authentic? Viv talks to Angela Cretu, CEO of Avon, one of the biggest beauty brands in the world. And in case you missed the picture of Margaret Atwood giving her blessing to the first manuscript copy of Happy High Status, here it is.