There was a mother who at the core was emotionally insecure, and who depended for her narcissistic equilibrium on the child behaving, or acting, in a particular way.

These kids, now grown up, relive their childhood nightmares of being put in a spiritual coffin by their controlling guardians. It is linked to self-preservation, it refers to love of self (Moore and Fine 1990), and in human psychological functioning, it is as normal as sex, aggression, and anxiety (Rangell 1980).More than anyone else, Miller put people in touch with their "inner child", encouraging them to own "their own truth" - by which she meant the truth of their abuse. Miller’s main point in the book is that the gifted child—the child who is more intelligent, more sensitive, and more emotionally aware than other children—can be so attuned to her parents’ expectations that she does whatever it takes to fulfill these expectations while ignoring her own feelings and needs.

Her concept of psychotherapy is that the therapist is not the neutral sounding board of classical analysis, but an "advocate" or "enlightened witness" who is "partial" to the victim's point of view. This behavior follows people into adulthood as they try to navigate a world, tearing themselves down for not being perfect at everything. I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb. When the other girls in her class came in, they would squeeze together at another table to avoid sitting with her. In fact, I'd be willing to bet their success in that endeavor has significantly aided me in my quest to be anything other than a filthy hermit.A well-established sense of gender does not depend on sexual object choice but on a sense of security in belonging to the gender correlated to one's biological sex. This wonderful book details the inner spiritual death suffered by little kids who are conveniently SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF PARENTAL EXPECTATION - and thus of vicarious parental ambition. Miller learned of Stettbacher and his method from a book by Mariella Mehr titled Steinzeit (Stone Age). Couldn’t Katherine take enrichment classes that would supplement her academic work at a public school? Those who process their trauma and live their lives being honest to themselves will be the leaders of change.

Miller claims that the key to these feelings is the realisation that one was loved as a child not for who one was, but (in large part at least) because of one's achievements. The article seeks to apply some of the principles of Self Psychology regarding narcissistic phenomena in the context of priestly and religious formation and life. Miller presents a solid theory with some difficult truths, but at time the narrowness of her idea turns into a sort of tunnel vision with sweeping generalizations that are far too much.According to prevailing, general attitudes these people--the pride of their parents--should have had a strong stable sense of self-assurance.

It is remarkably difficult for some people to even contemplate negative thoughts towards their parents. Between 1953 and 1960, Miller studied psychoanalysis and practiced it between 1960 and 1980 in Zürich. Recognition of this allows the patients to be who they are for the first time and to experience their own emotions - both positive and negative.This mother was able to hide her insecurity from the child and from everyone else behind a hard, authoritarian and even totalitarian façade.