Between the two of us, Phil and I have sixty years of psychotherapy experience. Based on this experience, we’ve identified four fundamental problems that keep people from living the lives they want to live. How much happiness and satisfaction you get out of life will depend on how well you can free yourself from those problems.

Powerful! Reminds of one of Stephen Covey’s one of the habits of highly effective people: “Begin with the end in mind” ☺ Penetration: when the love enters the other person, don’t just watch, feel it enter; sense a oneness with them. Then relax and feel all the energy you gave away return to you.” Let’s imagine what this might look like: Close your eyes and use the Reversal of Desire on something you normally avoid. Feel yourself starting to move forward. Now see those around you, inspired by your forward motion, using the tool on whatever they’re avoiding. book. I daresay that the older I grow, the more the Think about that. I know that he learned the ways of The health of our society depends on the efforts of each individual. Every time one of us gains access to higher forces, all of us benefit. That places a special responsibility on those who know how to use the tools. They become the first to bring higher forces to the rest of the society.This ongoing sense that problems are meaningful is a fundamental difference between a consumer and a creator. A consumer feels that life is only meaningful when his needs are being gratified. Problems, because they are ungratifying, inevitably destroy the consumer’s sense of purpose. In contrast, a creator has a sense of meaning that can’t be destroyed – he insists on seeing problems as driving him toward something better, something higher than himself. Far from destroying his sense of meaning, problems actually reinforce it.” The consumer expects a reward for the slightest effort—or better, for no effort at all. He cares only about what he gets from the world, not about what he might add to it. Living on the surface, jumping from thing to thing, his energy is diffused, like milk spreading across a tabletop. He makes no impact on the world; when his time on earth is over, it’s as if he never lived. The creator won’t accept that fate. Everything he does is with the intention of making an impact on the world. His code ensures this: He doesn’t accept the world as he finds it; he brings things into the world that aren’t already there. He doesn’t follow the herd; he sets his own course. He ignores the reactions of others. He resists superficial distractions. He remains focused on his goals even if he has to sacrifice his immediate gratification. Anyone can live by this code, but very few of us do. It means putting your life in the service of higher forces. These forces can’t be found on the surface of life; they’re found in its depths. The creator’s energy must have the singular focus of a drill boring through stone. As difficult as that is, a creator is rewarded many times over for his efforts.” Barry received his A.B., magna cum laude, from Harvard College in 1975, his J.D. (law degree) from University of California Berkeley, School of Law (Boalt Hall), in 1979, and his M.S.W. from U.S.C. School of Social Work in 1984. Imagine yourself standing in front of an audience (could be one or thousands of people). Ignore the audience and focus completely on the Shadow. Feel an unbreakable bond between the two of you—as a unit you are fearless.

This tool is the most important to generate a “permanent source of jeopardy”, which will help you show up from moment to moment. Your time is limited! It will give you a sense of purpose and that your future is in your hands. You’ll get immediate access to your “WHY” ☺ So next time you feel that you need to use a tool, but kind of don’t feel like that (can’t find any motivation), do this: Phil Stutz дает нам набор таких подходов. Всего их пять. По мнению автора, мы сможем решить с помощью этих инструментов большинство своих психологических проблем. Scream silently, “I love pain!” as you keep moving forward. Move so deeply into the pain you’re at one with it. See millions of people embracing pain and as a result, moving forward in their lives. How does the society you’re imagining look different from the one we have now? When millions of individuals stop avoiding and start moving forward, there are no social problems they cannot solve. It’s only a society that embraces pain that will lead the way for the rest of the world. …

Success!

In the book, Phil Stutz and Barry Michels (both are impressively well-educated and accomplished professionals in the fields of psychiatry and psychotherapy) bring forward a new approach to self-help. I could not bring myself to finish the book, the pain was too great, and the tools did not help in this specific instance of intellectual torture. A good feature that this book does provide is a helpful summary, and a Q & A session, on each tool at the end of chapters. We all have the Shadow – the part of us that we most despise and prefer to hide from the world. But without integrating our weaknesses and insecurities, we can’t fully trust ourselves and express ourselves with authority. Next time when you feel performance anxiety (e.g. have to deliver a presentation or a speech, talk to your boss about a pay rise, maybe even attending a networking event or joining a new group of people), do this: