I should note that re-reading the book it is fairly clear what it means from the beginning yet somehow I (and others) found it confusing on first reading—go figure. Currently it sounds as if she is focused on the problem. It might be worth discussing with her what solutions there could be for her to overcome or at least lessen these anxieties.

He is probably most famous for his work with British cycling as part of their programme of incremental gains. Most recently was in the news for being credited by Victoria Pendleton for preventing her suicide. A great way to prove this is to ask your child to sit quietly for 30 seconds and count all of the thoughts that pop into their head during that time. She used to start worrying mid week about her upcoming gymnastic session on a Saturday morning and she would start sweating and get worked up at the thought of her being left there for two hours.Maybe a large poster on his bedroom wall with a message or pictures of you and any other people important to him reminding him that you are always just a few steps away might help. When we are around two years old, a new system comes into the equation. As children we start asking “why?” We begin to get facts established and, by age four, use those facts in our decision-making. This is our “human” system: it’s the part of our brain that considers, rationalises, and empathises. 3. The Computer It had so much success that even Olympic gold medallist Sir Chris Hoy says that he wouldn’t have won gold at the Beijing Olympics without understanding his inner chimp. He is Chair of the Anti-Doping and Medical Committee for World Masters Athletics and is the CEO of his own charitable company, Chimp Management. He is also the author of the bestselling personal development book The Chimp Paradox which has sold over 1.4 million copies since it was first published in 2012.

Steve and his experienced team of doctors, psychologists and mentors specialise in helping others be the best they can be and achieve psychological well-being. The Model helps people working in all walks of life including public services, the corporate sector, education, health and the world of sport. Their daily work is helping clients to get the best out of themselves and others, using The Chimp Model. What’s more, with our extensive experience working with children and young adults, we know exactly how to tweak and tailor our language so that it makes sense to every child of every age. I don’t know the age of your son. The first point is for you to accept that this situation is time limited. He will settle, so you are experiencing a temporary but important stage of his development. The book worths reading, but not a magic bullet unless you are completing the exercises. Practice makes perfect. We need to prevent our inner chimp from governing our self-worth, says Steve: “If my self esteem is on the chimp system, which is what I achieve, then if I don’t achieve everything at the right level I’m always going to have low self-esteem,” he says. Also, no amount of success will ever be enough: “The chimp will chase success but once it’s got that it will redefine it.”

In other words try to establish ideally how she would like to be in these situations and then allow her to make her way towards that gradually on her terms. Most of us get through life not by being loved or respected by everyone but by being loved and respected by our friends. If you can form a link to other parents of children that he does get on with then encouraging social activities might help him to feel part of a group to which he belongs. Essentially, one system is all about reason and logic (the human system), one is about emotional reaction (the chimp system) and one is based on established beliefs. These systems are constantly vying for attention and, biologically, the chimp – the animal instinct we’re born with – has the upper hand. So how do we go about managing our inner chimp? Here are a few of Steve’s top tips... 1. Don’t fight the chimp, nurture it Worry and anxiety is on the increase among children and following the recent Children's Mental Health Week we asked parents to share their concerns over their kids with us - and give us their questions to put to Steve.

We work with you individually to help you understand what is going on in your mind using The Chimp Model. Everyone is unique so we take the time to really understand you and your situation. I love a dual process theory metaphor as much as the next rationalist (researching this post I came across King Louie and the Apes which I quite like). The Blue minimising robot series completely changed how I thought about myself and cleared up a lot of the confusions that I had about myself (e.g. what I would now call akrasia). I would say that, personally, dual process theory is the most useful thing that I have learnt under the umbrella of rationality. In the first third of the book, the chimp model is introduced, explained and made relevant with examples. The remainder of the book describes 10 habits which help us to manage our chimp and how to build the habits into our life. Teaching methods The Power of Showing Up; how parental presence shapes who our kids become and how their brains get wired. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. For children, emotions show up in many different, unpredictable ways, and it can be even harder to make sense of them.This is Peters’ number one habit - because it gives perspective and settles your Chimp. ‘Once we start learning to do it, we start to understand and learn to process feelings and the quality of our life improves.’ Often, we only talk when we’re already upset. Sit and talk to your partner or a friend regularly, on how the day has been and how you feel. Habit 5: Asking for help