Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access.

The study guide itself—with a comprehensive structure for group discussion time, video notes, and a leader's guide. Join #1 New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst as she helps you stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships by showing you biblical ways to set boundaries–and, when necessary, say goodbye–without losing the best of who you are. Like God, we must require from people the responsibility necessary to grant the amount of access we allow them to have in our lives. Fear of what we may lose is what makes us feel scared to draw boundaries and use our voice to say ‘no more’. Prayer: God I ask that you guide me and help me to walk in your ways not mine. Show me how to approach my closest relationships with both compassion and a healthy commitment to reality so I am in alignment with you.I had to let go of that picture in my mind I’ve clung to, and cried over, stared at and sulked over. all throughout scripture, God always gave his people an option to follow him or follow their own way of thinking. Good fences make good neighbors” is a line from Robert Frost’s Mending Wall, but the poem goes on to say, “Before I built a wall I'd ask to know / What I was walling in or walling out”

The tension exists because you are doing the difficult work of no longer cooperating with dysfunction. Your boundary should help set the stage so your emotions can stay more regulated, you can maintain a sense of safety, and you can feel empowered to make necessary changes. The boundary you see as a protection to keep the relationship healthy, they will see as a personal rejection. Processing a possible goodbye isn’t permission to piece out or tap out. It’s a pathway toward grieving and excepting one of the toughest realities we will ever face, and unsustainable relationship.

Praying the Names of God for 52 Weeks

I often see women post comments to Lysa's posts on Facebook expressing gratitude that her writing touches upon their own direct experiences. Lysa's personal writing style and insight, won through many hard-fought battles she shares as illustrations, make it seem as if she is writing from the heart of the reader. That ability, her evident empathy, and sound Biblical application to put it into perspective and call the reader to ultimately lean on our true source of wisdom and healing are God-given.

Allows you to finally let go of the person you thought they were and to consider who you were with that person.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes : Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are by Lysa TerKeurst Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep, and implement healthier patterns. This book is a must read for Christians struggling with or recovering from codependency or any sort of relational manipulation. I haven’t experienced severe trauma but decades of manipulation from a codependent relationship. And I didn’t even know boundaries could exist until I was in counseling a few years ago because I had become so deeply angry to the point of resentful. What a struggle it was to see “my person” and my relationship with clear vision. It’s still a daily act/decision to undo decades of unhealthy thought patterns and perverse twists I had been taught from Scripture.