Joined in 2023 
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The New York Times bestselling author and renowned clinical psychologist teaches women how to transcend their fears and illusions, break free from societal expectations, and rediscover the person they were always meant to be: fully present, conscious and happy.
Odată ce vom vedea potențialul tuturor tipurilor de comportament în noi, acceptăm cu compasiune posibilele elemente din umbră și extindem această bunătate și către ceilalți. Înainte să ne grăbim să-i judecăm, ne amintim să luăm o pauză și să ne punem pe noi însene în pielea lor, știind că singurul lucru care ne separă este situația de viață. Ne vedem natura umană subiacentă și creăm legătura cu situația lor, nu cu deconectarea. Așa ne ridicăm reciproc, construind puțin unul către celălalt, nu lărgind crăpăturile. Also, the entire book is about dismantling self-constructed egos and the effects female biology and female social conditioning have on all women, but then goes on to validate made-up gender identities like "gender-fluid" and she doesn't seem to see the complete and utter hypocrisy. She even says gender is a construct and part of the ego (which we are supposedly dismantling in this book) then says she validates personal gender identities, as though they're above scrutiny and can't be examined. This is where I stopped reading and realized she's just as mired in her ego as everyone else. She felt the need to virtue-signal to appease the gender trend. Absolute hypocrisy.
GF: Isn’t the first step, then, the most urgent, to become normal, to eradicate in oneself the functions that corrupt the dream? It’s always so much easier to hide our vulnerable sides, the parts of us that aren’t so wise, so bold, or so put together. Yet I know now that it’s only when women share their processes—their true processes, the bare bones of them—that other women can feel safe to share theirs. It’s in this sharing that we can collectively rise. I understand this is currently a wildly popular book. If I were to rate the writing itself, completely separate from Dr. Shefali's assertions, I give it 3.5 stars. Vindecă-ți nevoile săpând în interior. În timp ce faci asta, misiunea exterioară se schimbă. Ceea ce credeam că ne va împlini își pierde puterea. Numai când suntem capabile să ne oprim, să pășim în interior și să punem întrebările pe care le-am sugerat eu putem începe să ne „dezaburim” percepțiile și să realizăm că tot ceea ce ne lipsește a fost dintotdeauna în noi.”
I want to take you beyond the surface disruptions of your life to a deeper layer, where the patterns that drive us are always clear. The process of entering this deeper layer is like removing cobwebs from our eyes. The reason most of us don’t notice our patterns is that we have been hungry for two foods, love and worth. So hungry have we been that we are in a hallucinatory stupor. Attention, acceptance, and validation are the prizes we obsess over, rabidly hunting them at all costs. ...These patterns are a way of answering these questions: Am I loved? Am I seen? Am I worthy? Instead of discovering how to give these things to ourselves, we sought them from the external world, mainly our parents. Children everywhere are raised to seek approval and validation from their elders. Our parents are at the top of the hierarchy, of course, followed by our family’s elders, and then by teachers. This sets us up to depend on them. In our desire to obtain the love and worth we feel we need from them, we readily abandon ourselves and fall in line." (p. 53-54) GF: Among the people supposed to have attained the awakening or approached it, history and tradition present us, on the one hand, examples of very refined, intelligent, cultivated beings and, on the other, with examples of uneducated monks sweeping the cloister-humble characters living that which the literate and the wise men speak of without having had the experience. SJ: There is certainly a union of the subject and the object but they do not “fuse,” they do not disappear in some kind of undistinguishable magma. What’s miraculous in these experiences is that, without in the least losing my identity, in legitimately remaining who I am, I become the table, the stove, or the mountain, or the entire landscape, which, in turn, remains integrally itself. A remains A, B remains B, and yet A is in the heart of B, B in the heart of A. If both terms cancelled out each other’s original nature in this fusion, there would be no miracle, there wouldn’t be anything at all. This point seems important to me to the extent that, ordinarily, I find it poorly understood. If one believes what one reads or hears, if John becomes the tree, the tree, such as it is, is consumed, as is John. SJ: The moments were very different. Let me make one thing clear: the content of the awakening is one and indivisible. The original illumination diversified itself little by little without its oneness being challenged. As to these “moments” or “privileged instants,” their content can be extremely diverse. Let’s say that they always appear in the form of an abrupt and totally unexpected rupture. You can’t prepare yourself for one; they hit you on the noggin without a word of warning. As we begin to notice how we participate in our own self-suppression, we can take small steps toward self-expression. It may take time because we are unaccustomed to hearing ourselves speak our truth. We can begin with a close friend or a maternal figure, perhaps. Or we can enter coaching or therapy to work with a relative stranger. As we do so, we consciously manifest who we truly are, rather than being unconscious and passive victims.Can you imagine how this awareness of a potential threat shapes our psyche? Whether we had a father who simply raised his voice occasionally or one who indulged in mad rages, we learn to instinctively protect ourselves around the males in our lives. This takes a toll on us and fundamentally shapes how we develop. SJ: That’s a profound question. Among the faculties, powers, or savoir-faire inherent in the awakening I spoke of earlier, there’s the immediate and exhaustive knowledge of the structures of the normal state of consciousness. The very make-up of the awakening inscribes the knowledge of, on the one hand, the act through which the awakening will engender itself and, on the other, the nature of the error or falsification from which the normal state of consciousness proceeds. From the moment the awakening produces itself, you know more about the six billion inhabitants of the planet than they know themselves because you know the exact nature of the dream they are dreaming. You know the mechanism of the hallucination that holds them spellbound. All that because this mechanism is precisely the same for everyone. Simply brilliant! Step by step and chain by chain, Dr. Shefali gives us a path to break free from our old patterns to arrive at a new destination: our truest, most authentic self." MARIE FORLEO
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