In the beginning, you may find that taking care of details and keeping busy helps. For a while, family and friends may be around to assist you. But, there comes a time when you will have to face the change in your life. Grieving is like having broken ribs. On the outside, you look fine, but with every breath, it hurts.

In the United States, we have over one million new widows every year. We are professionals, business owners, doctors, lawyers, teachers, and parents. We are thrust into this life we never wanted with no instruction manual and are confused about how to reconstruct our lives. What is your only comfort in life and death? That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. – Heidelberg CatechismPeople touch our lives, and that means something. When they die, we can cherish the meaning they gave to us by mourning their passing and honoring their memory. Don’t be easily offended. Your grieving friend may want to be alone. It’s not that they don’t like you or don’t want you around; they’re grieving. So don’t be upset, and let them grieve in their own way. So, let’s return to the questions posed at the beginning of this article and see if we can answer them.

What I know for sure is the losses you endure, and the grief that comes with them, are deeply personal and the way you process and manage through it is equally personal. You will travel your own path and land where you land. It’s a unique journey. This book will be a godsend to any woman going through the murky devastation that is called miscarriage but feels like something else entirely: the loss of a baby' Ariel Levy While much of this is an accepted part of life, there is another type of grief that we typically don’t discuss. Do the stages apply to these experiences, too? Are the stages really even that accurate anymore, when we know that we all process grief differently? there is no timeline – the grieving process can be short or long. It can feel like it’s finished and then return.

Treatment Implications

Therefore, for anyone in a similar situation to J, where perhaps a loss is being hidden due to shame and fear, please confide in someone (this advice goes out to those in similar situations to J’s partner too, please don’t struggle in silence). Your grief deserves to be heard and understood, just as much as the painful feelings that someone experiences when bereaved. I encourage you to test your story out on someone you trust, perhaps with a friend, or perhaps with a healthcare professional or counsellor — where in both capacities, they are ethically bound to keep everything you share in confidence (unless there is an imminent risk to yourself or others).