Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free

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We also have the option within the Boundary Boss Base property manager to define a ‘Tangent type’. This is similar to defining a ‘Start/End Constraint’ within the loft. I’m sharing my personal story to becoming a boundary boss™ (and how you can too!) in this episode. It includes working with supermodels, being diagnosed with cancer, and more. As soon as I became a therapist, I realized that boundaries and communication were issues for most women. Guess what? Boundaries and communication are learned skills that you can implement in your life to feel lighter and be healthier.

It is possible for us to have our ‘Guide Curve Influence’ affect all connections (global) or just the connector where the guide curve resides. It is possible to influence the way the geometry transitions from one profile to another and there are a few ways we can do this. One way is to define start and end constraints. There are various different options to choose here, but essentially it will influence the way the geometry transitions from the start or end profile to the next profile. There's a process that I walk the reader through where we are going into the basement of your mind, which is your unconscious mind. You’re opening up some boxes and going through the material in there because so much of what happens in our lives–especially the dysfunctional parts–is driven by unconscious material.If you’re interested in learning more, make sure you register for Boundary Bootcamp. Enrollment is now open! Go to terricole.com/bb2019 to register. Terri Cole: Like, I use humor a lot, not like sarcasm, not to tell someone to F off. But, honestly… The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. If you struggle with the disease to please, overgiving, perfectionism, codependency, exhaustion, low-key anger, resentment or bitterness, this book is definitely for you. I’m like, “Y’all think that’s okay to say to some that you really…” Just, it’s kind of mind-blowing. So I love this book for that as well, to be able to take care of yourself in a really healthy way while we are living in this modern society where there are so many inputs, you know, that you’re choosing to participate in. But, yeah, so I’ll stop there and see if there’s anything you want to add.

Below we have chosen ‘Normal To Profile’, which means the geometry projects out ‘Normal’ to the sketch plane before transitioning to the next profile. Marie Forleo: I love that. Let’s wrap up today. I think we did a little hunting around on the internet which is always precarious and you can’t ever really confirm that much. So, maybe it’s a Polish proverb, maybe it’s not. But it made me laugh. And you have this phrase that it can be especially useful for boundary destroyers. Those people who just want to be like a bull in a China shop. When you got your boundary and they’re just not respecting it.Again, tongue in cheek. I don’t care about Bob. Look, you know, if Bob got abducted by aliens today, you’d probably be fine. And I was like, “This is an, this is an epidemic.” This isn’t just like, “Oh, I had this experience.” I had this experience and worked my butt off to learn how to do this. And then I saw all of these other women. And that is what really led me to become obsessed with helping other women. I started, you know, a course a bunch of years ago. And really beta tested all of this in a course. Because I was like, “Will it work with lots of people? Can I make it so that it’s understandable and digestible and actionable?” And the answer was, yes. But I had five years to sort of do that before I wrote the book. Terri Cole: So, intrusive questions is another, like boundaries and conversations, because these are also really emotional boundaries where so much of the time women in my courses would be like, “This person asked me this intimate question. And then I frigging answered it and I’m so mad at myself and I feel humiliated and I’m embarrassed. The person asked me, ‘Why don’t I have kids’ or ‘Why did, why did my husband I break up.’” Or whatever the thing is.

Terri Cole: “There’s a billion and five other things I could be doing right now. I’m not looking at the top of your head while you scroll Insta. Absolutely not, so, no.” And people are like, “You’re a pain,” I’m like, “No.” And this should be in our lives, we’re having these, I call it like life light, where we think we can multitask. And yet there’s been Harvard studies that tell us, we cannot, we’re just doing everything 30% shittier, so we actually can’t. So, it’s an important thing to think about, am I just compliant, because I go along to get along. A lot of women in my practice have been very like, “You know me, I’m easy. No fuss, no muss, that’s me.” I’m like, “But is it? And why is that like a badge?” You’ll become more conscious of your behaviors and true feelings, uncover any corrupted data driving your choices, and become fluent in the language of healthy boundaries. Marie Forleo: Terri, you are awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for the gift of this incredible book in the world and your work for decades now. You are just a gem. So, thanks for sharing with us today. And I’m so excited for all you watching to get your hands on Boundary Boss because it will change your life. love bombing — they make you to believe they are the true love, and once they believe they have you, they will reject you.

Moving on to the Boundary Boss Base tool– the first thing we will look at is the property manager. Instead of having the options to define profiles, we are presented with a ‘Direction 1’ and ‘Direction 2’ Dialogue box. We can select our profiles in either one of these boxes. We’d suggest selecting your profiles in the ‘Direction 1’ box. So, long ago before the book, I came up with this very in-depth list of what is okay and what is not okay in all areas of clients’ lives. So that’s from the lighting in your office to anything. How you’re communicating in your love relationship, the way that you’re being sexual with someone, every single thing, because most of the time, if, if you’re raised to just really want to avoid conflict, to… you know, it’s very easy to confuse compliance with compatibility. You know? And… Marie Forleo: Like a sense of neutrality and a sense of clarity and a sense of firmness, but not necessarily a machete, right? Terri Cole: Be discerning. So I think a lot of what we’re really talking about is how can we become discerning about how we give? And you had said before, Marie, about over-giving, right, about…