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You may remember James as the stay-at-home dad who wrote this hugely controversial post for Mamamia that sent many readers ballistic. He followed it up with this post and gave everyone whiplash. Today, he writes about something altogether different….. One thing I've noticed about the replies to this topic is that the parent or spouce of the parents who this certain thing has happened to seem to, in a round about way, blame the child as much as the parent. (Mostly, "step parent") I love my girl to bits. She's young, she's gorgeous, and I love her like life itself; but I knew, when she said and did the things she did, that it was a temporary thing, that she was going through some bad stuff, that she would get over it. She did. I still have her as a daughter, and to me, that's way more precious than any random f**k. Then, after giving more reasons why the daughter is more to blame than her husband, she also mentions that the child kept a diary which she kept with the intent on ruining their relationship. (He mom, you'd think the fact that he had sex with your 16 year old daughter would have ruined it already!) There is no excuse for it: "My daughter seduced him." NOPE. "He was very drunk." NOPE. "I was pushing him away and he was lonely." NOPE.
But anyway, a few weeks ago when i came home from school, my step father was just getting out of the shower, he was in his robe when we got talking about my ex, then we just started flirting and we kissed. Ive always fancied him since she brought him home 5 years since, but i was 12 at the time so i knew he wouldn't want me. Then last weekend my mom was at work and we just watched a few movies together, when he asked me if i'd had sex, i told him i had but it wasn't anything important, after a while we started kissing again and i gave him oral sex, when my mom got home i was really upset and i've stayed at my aunt's since, telling her that i need some peace and quiet, I really don't want to go home because i know something will happen again, but i can't stay away forever. She looks directly at my crotch and before I can react she points her finger and jabs it into the slight protrusion in my wet undies a few times and says “What’s that thing Daddy? first things first in this country you are able to give consent to have sex until you're 18 period end of story. now your step father is an adult and he knew better. he also needs help.
You can’t pull down your pants and say “Well this is a man’s penis and blah, blah…” so immediately you must say “No, you can’t look at my penis” and then make up something unconvincing about the why and begin to create a taboo around genitalia. What else can you do? Umm no honey. You don’t get to choose. If you are a girl you have a vagina and if you are a boy you have a penis. That is the way we are made.”
UPDATE: I’ve taken all your comments on board. I never really intended to leave the gender explanations this long but after listening to you all I decided that I really needed to get my undies off in the shower and do it soon in the name of body image and most importantly, preventative behaviour. My dad isn’t a bad person, though—he just made some very stupid decisions that hurt those around him. The kind of decisions you simply cannot fold into whatever shape your previous relationship took; the kind that demands a new way of seeing each other. This is a very difficult situation for you. You said you have fancied your stepfather since you were 12, so it sounds like you were acting out a fantasy. Did you WANT to have oral sex with him? And who made the first move, him or you?Our two year old daughter has always had baths and lately she wants to have showers, which stands to reason because that is what we all have around here.
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