Don't Hold My Head Down

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Oo interesting question! I actually wonder whether it’s the publishers who aren’t taking the risks rather than the writers. I think we write about the conversations we are pulled to and for me that seems to be sex and relationships. But yes, I would love for there to be more honest conversations about sex, I do think there is a need for them. I actually feel really privileged that because I am writing and talking about sexuality people will often open up to me about their experiences, it seems to me that people want to talk/think/engage about this issue but often don’t see how or where they can do this. 5) What have you learned about yourself in writing your new book? Myös tantraseksistä ja seksifestareista puhuminen etäännytti itseäni, ihan kuin seksi olisi jotenkin pienen piirin hallitsema salaisuus. Että vasta kun tiedät tantran kaikki kujeet ja saat ne 14 erilaista orgasmia (… suhtaudun tähän vähän skeptisyydellä) olet boss oman seksuaalisuutesi kanssa. Totta kai jokaisen seksuaalisuus on omanlaisensa ja uniikki, ja Holmes nyt löysi hänen seksuaalisuutensa avaimen tällä tavoin, mutta olisin kaivannut vielä vähän jotain toista otetta, ehkä vähän niiden omien löytöjen ja tapojen haastamista. Vaikka kirjassa muuten olikin loistavasti isompaa yhteiskunnallista otetta, näissä kohdin se jäi hauraaksi. But in terms of actually going on the sex adventure I learnt so much about myself that it’s hard to know where to start. The main thing I suppose and the thing I guess on which everything else hangs is that I learnt to love myself; to get on with me, to get to know me, and get to quite like me. It was funny, I set off on my mission looking for some great sex, and I got that, I did the things on my list, I explored and unearthed all this pleasure I was capable of. But on the journey I learnt bloomin loads about myself.

Thisisdifferenttotryingnewthingssexuallyandnotaskingforpermissiontogoeachstepfurther.Inthiscase,bothpeopleareopenandwillingandnotsayingnotoanything.Ithinkyoushouldn'taskforpermissionforeverythingbutifsomeonesaysnoorclearlyindicatesnoasmuchastheycan,youstop. Solid state physics Quantum theory Chemical bonds SCIENCE Physics Condensed Matter Física do estado sólido Mecânica quântica Don’t Hold My Head Down is comical and written in that incredibly chatty, almost babbling, way that makes it feel like reading a letter from a friend. But there were times when the text could do with being more honed and I found some of the sentences a bit too long and the joke too drawn out. Now don’t get me wrong, I can waffle with the best of them ( Northern Soul’s lovely Editor will attest to this) but sometimes less is more. There'sakeydifferencebetweennotaskingpermissionbeforeyoudoeverysinglething,anddoingsomethingbecauseapersondoesn'twanttodoit. Voin toki haastaa tässä itseänikin, että miksi juuri nämä jutut ärsyttivät, mitä ne kertovat minusta. Aloitetaanpa siis oma seksimatka!)The initiative also provides resources for those struggling with mental health issues, such as support groups, online communities, and mental health professionals. The initiative also strives to reduce stigma in the music industry around mental health and to create a culture of understanding and acceptance. The Need for Mental Health Awareness in the Music Industry Wow, what a refreshing book! This month, I attended the Unbound proof party at Cheltenham Literature Festival, where Lucy-Anne was one of the authors, discussing her imminent memoir. The event was memorable for a few reasons, one of them being the response that it elicited from an older lady, who was sharing the table I was sitting at: she clearly didn't approve of such a book. But, for me, this event will be memorable as the time that I accidentally came across a book that I was perhaps waiting years to read, whether I realised it or not. Youhaveaclearproblem,assomeoneelsementionedthisispersonalwithyou.Thatwasnowherenearsexualassault,especiallyconsideringhowhestoppedstraightawayduringthemomentyoutoldhimto.Thisissomethingthatyou"dislike"aspartofwhatyouguysweredoing. I feel sad at how much time I spent worrying about whether I was desirable instead of thinking about what I desired.”

Erityisesti tää ihmetytti, koska usein oltiin ihmiselämän isojen asioiden äärellä, kuten esimerkiksi seksistä kommunikoimisen ja sen, millainen naiskuva pornossa, mediassa ja yhteiskunnassa ylipäätänsä on ja miten se vaikuttaa ihan meidän perustavisten arkeen (tiedostetusti ja tiedostamattakin). Lucy previously published traditionally. Here, Norah interviews Lucy about why she decided to publish her book with Unbound. 1) What appealed to you the most about working with Unbound? Ooo where to start?… Well, this book is quite particular and I knew fairly early on that it wasn’t going to handily fit into a traditional publishing genre, unless ‘explicit comedy memoir with a bit of how to and self help and feminist natter thrown in’ became a genre. Don’t Hold My Head Down is an initiative created to raise awareness about the mental health of people in the music industry. The initiative was launched by the Music Industry Mental Health Group, which is a collective of musicians, industry professionals, and mental health advocates. The initiative encourages people in the music industry to speak openly about their mental health struggles and to create a safe space for those struggling with their mental health to express themselves and seek support.The Don’t Hold My Head Down initiative encourages people to support their friends and family who are struggling with their mental health. The initiative encourages people to be understanding and supportive of their loved ones and to provide a safe space for them to express themselves without judgment. For years and years, I’ve lived my life as a woman who has been told about sex and shown about sex from a man’s perspective.”

saateri! Nyt on käsissä kirja, joka sekä ilahutti että ärsytti reippaasti. Tykkäsin siitä, että kymmenien seksiaiheisten kirjojen jälkeen sain tästä uusia ajatuksia kupoliini. Kirjoittaja on miun kanssa samaa ikäluokkaa ja muutakin yhteistä tarttumapintaa toki löytyy, samoin hänen lähtötilanteensa on superkiinnostava. Kasassa oli ainekset viiden tähden kirjaan feminismeineen kaikkineen.Sex sells. But if you expect Don’t Hold My Head Down to be a titillating read full of soft-core anecdotes, then you’ll be (somewhat) disappointed. Yes, Lucy-Anne Holmes’s memoir is about sex (and there are certainly some NSFW parts) but it’s not necessarily about the act, rather an exploration of sex in all its forms – body image, porn, self-esteem, communication, societal attitudes and Holmes’s own experiences. In addition, by creating an environment in which people are more likely to be open and honest about their mental health, the initiative hopes to create a more productive and positive environment for the music industry. By creating an understanding and accepting culture, the initiative hopes to create a space in which people are more likely to be able to focus on their work and create meaningful music. How Can You Help?

It’s a whirlwind of a read. One minute I’m laughing, the next I’m feeling utterly dismayed and thinking about my own attitude to, and experience with, sex as a 30-something woman. Funny, thought-provoking, courageous writing.Don’t Hold Your Head Down: Don’t hold your head down in a negative way. Instead, keep it up and focus on the positive. This helps you stay positive and look forward to the future. When you hold your head down, you are sending a negative message, which can affect how others perceive you and your attitude. Instead, keep your chin up and your eyes forward and try to stay optimistic and motivated. Sexcrossesboundaries,withyourlogic,youdoinganythingwithouthispermissionisconsideredsexualassault.Andalso,thatmeanseverysingle'act'wouldrequireyouguystospeakbeforehandbeforehavingsex.Didyou?Youhonestlyneedtogrowup. Mutta kolmen tähden kirja tuli. Isoimman tökinnän aiheutti kirjoitustyyli. Huumori sinänsä maistuu, mutta tuntuu että seksistä puhutaan usein överihassutellen. Mietin, vaikuttavatko äänikirjat näin paljon kerrontaan - samaa vikaa oli esim. Runkkarin käsikirjassa, jonka printin lukeminen oli hetkittäin rajusti myötähäpeällistä. Eikö kirjailija ihan uskonut tarinansa kantavuuteen sellaisenaan ja siksi lisäsi ha-ha-hauskan kuorrutuksen ja esimerkiksi puhutteli jatkuvasti lukijaa tyyliin "oletteko vielä siellä"? Minnuu olisi puhutellut ihan tarina itsessään jo. Sex. This is an overwhelming word for me. That being said, this book is not and is very hopeful while also being empowering. (Please note: I posted all the notes I highlighted in the book directly from the Kindle app to Goodreads. I was not over zealous in my note taking on this one.) I am in profound admiration of Lucy-Anne Holmes from the first list to the last. Having come of an age and in a culture that is overflowing with male-dominated porn has been, to say the least, dizzying for many of us. I applaud her hutzpah and would encourage both women AND men to read this very informative exploration.