The opening story "The SantaLand Diaries" is about Sedaris working in a Department Store as an elf, and if you've ever experienced a certain frustration (along with Charlie Brown) about the commercialization of Christmas, or Christmas being pushed on you, this story is a can't miss. I listen to the audio version which features Sedaris himself reading, I enjoy listening to him so much more then reading it,he brings that extra something. Twas the Night Before Christmas: Edited by Santa Claus for the Benefit of Children of the 21st Century" (2012) being Pamela McColl "smoke-free" edit of Clement Clarke Moore's poem

http://www.audible.com/pd/Comedy/Holidays-on-Ice-Audiobook/B002VA93HS/ref=a_search_c4_1_2_srTtl?qid=1403810922&sr=1-2 I appreciate the sentiments of an earlier reviewer so I skipped the story about the visitor from Viet Nam - what little I did listen to was, plainly, awful, and not helped by the dramatic efforts of the reader. I had high hopes that the humor contained in rest of the anecdotes and episodes would compensate. But the remaining stories were a bleak disappointment. The elven-voiced man is best listened to rather than read, in my opinion. I always go with audiobooks narrated by himself, because he adds the oh-so-necessary inflection, as well as some humorous renditions of his family members and, one of my favorites, Billie Holiday doing Christmas and commercial jingles. But here too is an issue. Some of these shorts are not read by him, but rather by guest narrators. That's like casting Rip Torn as the evil-yet-somehow-handsome villain in your movie...The rest of the stories in the collection have some funny moments or humorous moments. Some of them were ok and some weren't too good. But the two stories above are enough for me to give this uproariously funny book 5 stars. I wanted to laugh and it gave me my laugh. The fluff in the middle can be read or skipped.

At one point in Santaland Diaries "Santa" Santa demands that David sing "Away in A Manger" at first David claims not to know but when pushed by "Santa" Santa he decides to sing it as Billie Holliday would have sung it, then we are treated to this rendition which causes my dog EverlyBrothers to start howling as if he was singing with him, Sedaris was named by The Economist as one of the funniest writers alive. [1] This is one of his first works, which was subsequently re-released with additional new passages. There are more stories in this edition than in the previous version. Personally, I think the additional stories are welcome.) If you follow my reading, you’re probably wondering what the hell could have happened to make me rate a Sedaris selection less than every Star. Well, lemma tell ya. http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Holidays-on-Ice-Audiobook/B002V5BV9G/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1403810922&sr=1-1A Christmas letter from the Dunbar clan detailing matriarch Mrs. Dunbar's slow descent into insanity during the holiday season—belied by her insistently cheerful tone—as she is forced to cope with the discovery of her husband's infidelity, the resultant prostitute stepdaughter left in their care, and her drug-addict daughter's premature pregnancy. Also first published in Barrel Fever.

A Visit from St. Nicholas" (also known as "'Twas the Night Before Christmas", 1823) attributed to Clement Clarke Moore I always get David Sedaris and Dave Eggers confused for some reason. Until now, I've never read anything by either of them, but I can't remember who it is that everyone seems to hate. Sedaris? Eggers? Both? I had planned to read this a year ago, but forgot I had it. I thought I'd better read it now during the holidays so I wouldn't have to wait another year to get to it--I can never watch Christmas movies or read holiday stories when it's not Christmas; it's depressing. After a somewhat rough start, I found the first story the weakest in the bunch, the second had a bit more to offer, the next were what I have grown to expect from this author. David Sedaris has never been a riotous comedian. He is an acquired taste and his humor has to do with the observations of regular people and their everyday lives, with quite a bit of morbid fascination with tragedy and the absurd ways our brains choose to deal with it as safety mechanisms. No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" (Economist). Holidays on Ice is great right down to the cover which features an alcoholic beverage with ice in in it (adorable and much like my family's holidays). It features Christmas themed stories some his holiday experiences, others just featuring his talent as a writer. Santa land Diaries is the first essay and it is the star of this show. These are journal entries from when David at the age of 33 worked as an elf at Macy's Santaland...at the age of 33.So it might be a little cruel of me to review a book about Christmas when Christmas is off most of our radars, but, hey, there's still snow on the ground where I live so I'm allowing myself this review. The rest of the stories weren't nearly as much fun for me. "Seasons Greetings" and "Christmas Means Giving" in particular ended felt overly mean and cruel. I never thought I could get through a David Sedaris book without over-working my abdominals from laughing too hard, but with this book I seem to have achieved that milestone. A collection of short stories on different holiday themes. Not really about the holidays, but observations of life around the holidays. The most popular essay is "Santaland Diaries", which is Sedaris' take on working as an elf at a department store grotto during Christmas season.

The Cow and the Turkey” is another wonderfully funny essay, slightly reminiscent of James Thurber’s wild fables. There’s no way to convey its humor adequately. Just think of a barnyard, the problems being a Secret Santa might pose for the animals, and a very sinister cow. My mother was that cow, and yes, Moira, I know this has Faulknerian echoes: If you don't love Sedaris you may not enjoy the rest of the collection Santaland by far outshines the rest. One of the things that I was surprised how much it bothered me, was the use of the word "retarded". I know that at the time this was written, it was in regular use of everyone's vernacular, but I guess I have come to enjoy it being mostly in our past, because it definitely startled me... In the 90's, I remember it being well used in all types of circumstances, particularly on the East Coast, and proudly, but I am glad it's use has tapered down significantly... If you're not ready for Department Store Christmas Carolers or Mall Santas, plug Holidays On Ice into your ears. Sedaris generally does an excellent job of pointing toward the madness of the holidays, without feeling like a Grinch.urn:lcp:holidaysonice0000seda:lcpdf:73044a12-5a0e-41f9-a3dd-6cd290de545d Foldoutcount 0 Grant_report Arcadia #4281 Identifier holidaysonice0000seda Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t86j6q61h Invoice 2089 Isbn 0316779237 Ocr tesseract 5.0.0-alpha-20201231-10-g1236 Ocr_detected_lang en Ocr_detected_lang_conf 1.0000 Ocr_detected_script Latin Ocr_detected_script_conf 1.0000 Ocr_module_version 0.0.13 Ocr_parameters -l eng Old_pallet IA17696 Openlibrary_edition Sure these essays and stories are misanthropic and sometimes course, filled with crude humor and bleak holiday cheer, but they are funny. And funny is never out of season. Sedaris recalls the Christmas that he was taken on a late-night ride downtown by his sister, Lisa, to rescue a prostitute from her abusive boyfriend. This story was also published in Sedaris' 1997 book Naked.