I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

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Indeed, as long as their job is well structured, it can work as a sanctuary from their turbulent personal lives. Unstable and intense interpersonal relationships going from extremes idealization and devaluation (also known as “splitting”) Periods of great freedom, less structured relationships and open sexual mores are more difficult for the BPD to handle. The constant BPD’s quest for happiness and contentedness often leads to changing the environment around, which often includes people and jobs. Genders & BPD

This would make sense because there are different “levels” of being a BPD. Some function better in society while some others struggle more and present more marked signs. It’s A Mix of Nature & Nurture They also have a tendency to idealize, which the charismatic cult leader is all too happy to fulfill. Often, the suicide threats or suicide attempts are not a wish to die but rather a way to communicate pain and a plea for attention and intervention. BPD add to their woes by “feeling bad about feeling bad”. The author recommends BPDs accept feeling bad as a more constructive approach to improving themselves. CONS Both pharmacological and psychotherapeutic advancements point to real hope for success in the treatment and understanding of BPD.

Albeit BPD have major difficulties in their personal lives and personal relationships, they can function well at work. Your communication of your suicidal plans tells me that, as much as you may wish to die, there is at least some part of you that doesn’t want to die. And it is to that part that I feel I must respond. I want you to come with me to see a doctor to help us with these problems Classical psychoanalysis is best avoided because it’s an unstructured environment in which BPD do very poorly. That’s not really a scientific or prudent approach in my opinion. He should have at least prefaced that diagnoses saying they are far from accurate. Medication tends not to be helpful long term, but can be used for short term relief. Real Life Applications

Instead of listing all the pros, this is simply the best overview of BPD I have ever read. Also Read Most of BPD’s self-esteem is achieved by impressing others, so pleasing others becomes critical to the BPD’s own self-love. A Bit Like a ChildSome studies say that around 6% of the US population suffers from BPD, but Jerold Kreisman says that figure might be an underestimation. A highly critical supervisor can also make the hypersensitive BPD overreact and fly in uncontrolled anger (remember that the BPD is hypersensitive to rejection). Job Hopping

The shifting role patters for women might be one of the reasons why women have a higher incidence of BPD’s symptoms, says the author. Dealing With BPD Their dependency is often disguised as passion, and you will hear the BPD justify their destructive behavior by repeating “because I love him”. Co-dependent Relationships Severe mood shifts and instabilityin reaction to day-to-day events (intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety)The BPD unrealistic goal is to find a perfect partner-caregiver who gives it all and is always ready to tend for them. Support statements must help the BPD feel like she is cared for, which is something she struggles with, since the BPD feels like she needs to earn acceptance again and again. To me, this is an example of seeing connections where there are likely none (read “ Fooled by Randomness“). The author says that the threats and the rage are sometimes a way to test for commitment (not to be confused with shit tests during the courtship phase). The Workplace for The BPD However, Jerold Kreisman warns, people shouldn’t make the mistake of considering each symptom as its own constellation: they are all related and they all move together like pistons in an engine.

The quest often leads to partners with complementary pathology leading to toxic relationships and destructive relationship dances. The need for physical closeness to avoid chronic loneliness can push the BPD into serial sexual relationships with disappointing -or even violent- results. Highly recommended to any BPD, to anyone living with BPD, and also to anyone who wants to better understand people and human psychology. If she is a BPD for example, she can end up with an insecure man who displays fake confidence and needs a helpless partner to feel strong and in control (also read: codependent no more). With their erratic behavior and their need and fear for intimacy at the same time, they often end up repelling the people with whom they most want to connect.The available evidence points to no one definitive cause—or even type of cause—of BPD. Rather, a combination of genetic, developmental, neurobiological, and social factors contribute to the development of the illness. I recognize how bad you are feeling and your wish to die. I know you said that if I cared at all for you, I should just leave you alone.