Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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Paul shouldn't watch so much TV and should stop smoking. Paul she told me that he loves me and shouldn't ignore me. You shouldn't criticize me in front of our Paul shouldn't watch so much TV and should stop smoking. Paul she told me that he loves me and shouldn't ignore me. You shouldn't criticize me in front of our children and Friends. If your answer to question 1 is yes, ask yourself, “Can I absolutely know that it’s true?” In many cases, the statement appears to be true. Of course it does. Your concepts are based on a lifetime of uninvestigated beliefs. Without the thought that Bob is a jerk, I’d be free to see his good qualities. I’d feel lighter and happier and relaxed. Clearly, I’d be better off without this thought. Some level of judgment is necessary. "There's no path that's higher than another." Really? I mean, there are tons of paths that are A-OK by me, but I don't believe that all paths are of equal worth. And unless you think Mother Teresa's lifelong effort to serve others and relieve suffering is on par with Jeffrey Dahmer's lifelong path of sadism, death and destruction, then you too believe that some paths are inherently higher than others.

Now I could finally inquire of every potentially uncomfortable story, “Can I absolutely know that it’s true?” And the answer, like the question, was an experience: no. I would stand rooted in that answer—solitary, peaceful, free. The Work only gives you options so that you can assess the problem more objectively; it does not give you an easy way out. Do not do The Work in your mind. Our thoughts are too chaotic, and you cannot completely comprehend them if you do not write them down.

Additional Support for Doing The Work

In our summary of “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie , we will show you how you can pin down and analyze the exact thoughts that are stressing you, and ultimately reach inner peace. Who Should Read “Loving What Is”? and Why?

Nothing is happening but your story. You're deluding yourself with your own uninvestigated thoughts it's their fault I'm happy it's their fault I'm sad and this causes pain and confusion. This book has been an awakening in ways that I had not intended to experience. Subtle. Powerful. Inviting. Gripping. Nudging. Original. Oh my, quite the awakening. Not asking you to drop that thought, just simply can you see a reason to drop this lie that argued with reality?If your answer is still yes, good. If you think that you can absolutely know that that’s true, that’s as it should be, and it’s fine to move on to question 3. How do you react when you believe that thought? Let’s say I’m stressing about the fact that my partner hasn’t done the dishes. In fact, she’s never done the dishes. Guess whose business it is what my partner does or doesn’t do? That’s right — her business. If I want the dishes done, that’s my business, and I can take care of it by making my way over to the sink. Or by asking her to do them, without the angry tone that implies she should have done them already. Believing she should do something she didn’t do is guaranteed misery. Katie would say it’s arguing with reality. Suppose you could find a simple way to embrace your life with joy, stop arguing with reality, and achieve serenity in the midst of chaos? That is what Loving What Is offers. It is no less than a revolutionary way to live your life. The question is: are we brave enough to accept it?” This is a very powerful question. Picture yourself standing in the presence of the person you have written about when he (or she) is doing what you think he shouldn’t be doing. Consider, for example, who you would be without the thought “Paul doesn’t listen to me.” Who would you be in the same situation if you didn’t believe that thought? Close your eyes and imagine Paul not listening to you. Imagine yourself without the thought that Paul doesn’t listen to you (or that he even should listen). Take your time. Notice what is revealed to you. What do you see now? How does that feel?

And, worst comes to worst, we may have to apply some boundaries with a person who we are wanting something from, but who doesn't genuinely have the willingness to give it to us. A boundary says, "I'm not doing this to appease or upset you, I'm doing it to take care of myself." In this case, taking care of ourselves would be choosing the amount of involvement we have with someone who we want something from but who doesn't have the genuine willingness in them to give it to us. So we can move on to other people and strategies without blaming them, though we allow ourselves, compassionately, to feel disappointed, and take that disappointment as our soul's wisdom that we do need to move on and set that boundary perhaps. The book's basic tenet is that all our suffering is caused by our attachment to the stories we create about our thoughts. Here's a good example because it's raining in Holland. It's raining. That's the reality. It's not causing me any stress or irritation. However, the moment I start thinking that it shouldn't be raining, I get irritated and sad. Now, the thought that it shouldn't be raining comes to me in thoughts like "I'm so tired of this weather; if it's not warm and sunny I get depressed; rain is such a pain because i get wet, etc" It's not the issue that's causing the problem, it's your THOUGHTS about the issue because you haven't investigated them to see that they oppose reality in the moment.I need Paul to listen to me and to stop lying to me and to share to stop lying to me and to share his feelings and to stop lying to me and to share his feelings and be emotionally available and to stop lying to me and to share his feelings and be emotionally available and to be gentle and kind and patient. Next time you feel stressed or discomfort ask yourself whose business you're in mentally and you may burst out laughing.

Mind blown - [this is the] best book I have read of this type since Power of Now. Really helped me to let go of beliefs and judgements that aren't serving me. Thanks for writing it.' -- ***** Reader review She’s taught the process, which she calls “The Work” to millions of people over the past three decades, and today, I’d like to share it with you.

To summarize, the book explains that we are the projector of the world and everyone in it. If the world seems chaotic, there is chaos inside us, and our job is to shine the light there. Expecting the world / situations outside ourselves to be different from what they are is hopeless, and leads to anxiety, fear, anger, and depression.