This book by its own won’t resolve issues. Why? I had to read 2-5 books on each topic , like: boundaries and limits, assertiveness, narcissistic and bordeline abuse, radical honesty, DBT, self esteem workbooks, critical voice and its affect, and more. I agree with another reviewer who writes below that Gibson creates an understanding for both, victim and offender (seeing the offender as a victim too), while focusing on the one who suffers and wants to change. She is creating an understanding for a cycle of behaviour learned as a child and passed on to the own children. This is the first book I read from the author, so I don't know what is written in her first book on the topic. This book, however, is focused on learning to set boundaries and on learning how to self-heal and build more healthy relationships with other people. Amongst others I loved that the author suggests to lower your expectations with your parents or other emotional immature persons in your life and to raise expectations for other relationships. So beautiful and true. I wholeheartedly recommend this book, particularly to those whose childhoods included induced guilt or shame. Her books are LOADED with wisdom, insight and actually extremely useful and spot on advice on how to manage difficult relationships with emotionally immature people. It’s a little unsettling how some examples of conversations were like deja vu for me. I was left thinking “how did you know that?!?” Which was indescribably wonderful. The isolation, questioning, sadness, and a plethora (love that word) of other emotions just… became somehow soft.

Sometimes not responding is the best response. Disregarding unwanted behavior is an effective way of decreasing its frequency. After reading “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” I was definitely gaining a better understanding of all the dynamics and things at play within myself. I felt almost “exposed.” But it left me wondering “okay, so what now?” Then I read this book. I’m like a Lindsay C. Gibson fan boy. I’m amazed by her empathy, breath of knowledge, originality and skillful presentation.Emotional coercion is not always intentional - it can be a subconscious survival technique by emotionally immature people. It is tough to accept that at times, even with little fault of yours, it is you who would have to change your perspective or behaviour. It is you who have to respond in a different manner for things to be a bit more bearable and perhaps even favourable. In emotionally heightened situations, people can’t self-reflect and therefore have no way to grow. Instead, they are limited to blaming others and expecting others to change first. It is only natural to think this way. But this pattern of thought over a continued period of time leads to self disconnection and that is undesirable. While “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” (Gibson’s first book) goes into introducing the concept and the types of parents that are likely to be EI and validating the mental and emotional experience of what it was like for the adult child to grow up with the EI parents, this sequel goes into greater depth about the relationship dynamics that make having a mature healthy relationship (at the very least, for yourself) with EI parents challenging. They define reality based on how it feels to them. This is called affective realism. We all do this. When we feel good, things look good. But EI’s take this to an extreme. The way it feels is the way it is. You can decline to accept their criticism, and distinguish what they are saying to what is actually true about yourself. You get to define yourself, not them. Don’t fall prey to EI takeovers. This self-protective emotional disconnection makes it easier for the EI distortions to take over our mind and heart.

Emotional reactivity is the intensity with which you respond to emotions. High emotional reactivity is a sign of poor emotional regulation and involves intense shifts in your emotional responses.

Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy

Shame is a feeling / emotion (thus it eventually passes), not a definition / statement of my worth. I really enjoyed this book, I feel it has some really good and helpful tools for people who struggle with the strain of having emotionally immature parents in their lives.

The author gives lots of great examples, even examples of specific wording to use. That part is especially helpful to me, because I had no idea how to disagree amiably: "it sounds like we have different viewpoints, and that's OK." Or "you may be right but I'd like to do it this way this time." Drawing on the success of her popular self-help book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers yet another essential resource. With this follow-up guide, you’ll learn practical skills to help you recognize the signs of an EI, protect yourself against an emotional takeover, reconnect with your own emotions and needs, and gain emotional autonomy in all your relationships. This is a how-to book, with doable exercises and active tips and suggestions for what to say and do to increase emotional autonomy and self-awareness.Disclaimer: People have different takeaways from self help books, or books that delve deeper into the subject of mental health. It is a personal journey that adapts to your style and not the other way around. It can be triggering and stir up unwanted emotions in you. Do not believe everything that is written or told to you blindly. Everyone has different experiences even when confronted with the exact same situations. Thus, see what works for you. It is your journey, own it. In a nutshell, it’s anyone in your life who is draining, self absorbed, emotionally coercive, and who discounts the importance of your inner experience. Sometimes emotional immaturity in parents looks like emotional unavailability. This can come through in behaviors that seem aloof, disinterested, or unconcerned with a child’s needs. When you can’t connect through a shared interpersonal experience, you’re unable to recognize how your emotions impact those around you. High emotional reactivity can make children feel unsafe to express emotions. 2. Emotional unavailability