Day The Rats Vetoed Congress, The

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Senator Clearwater wasn't far behind in his own delight. "I heartily concur with this strategy. And may I add that Ms. Melosay is one smart and compassionate lady, Mr. Speaker, to give you such advice when she is the leader of your opposition who would like to replace you some day as Speaker. There is a new kind of political patriotism emerging here." His longtime secretary heard his yell and rushed to his bathroom. "Mr. Speaker, Mr. Speaker, what happened? Are you OK?"

The Speaker scrolled down to a section titled "Rats and Bubonic Plague, Typhus, and Rabies ... " This time he really had enough and switched off his computer, retiring to his chambers, somewhat nauseous. WHILE SPEAKER BLAMER, Minority Leader Melosay, and Senate Majority Leader Clearwater were meeting, and long into the night afterward, The Reporter was burning the midnight oil, deep in reams of data. The reason why even his associates call him The Reporter, rather than using his name, was because of his penchant for not just for reviewing seemingly nonrelevant databases but being able to put together information from those sources in unique, fresh reports. I can't say. My entire office knows about the rats there, but how many know about the rats in the toilet with me sitting there depends on how many can connect my terrifying outcries from fear of the scurrying creatures on the floor to my fear of being emasculated on the throne. The super successful mega-investor, Warren Buffett, CEO of the giant conglomerate Berkshire Hathaway, was heard to say: There are only 535 members of Congress, why can’t 300 million Americans control them? That’s a pretty fundamental question since our senators and representatives are given their sovereign power by the people. Remember the preamble to our Constitution? Speaker Blamer said, stiffening ever so slightly, "Mr. Toad, I can't deal with rumors and the crazed delusions of plot spinners. As far as I can see, it was just a random occurrence, the entrance into the plumbing of a fleeing rodent seeking food. Can't we talk about the larger picture here? For heaven's sake, the country is aroused over this shutdown as never before."Both The Speaker and The Minority Leader knew that this was not going to solve their own very personal problems. The individual rats were entering the toilet bowl from a pipe that was far removed from the rat traps. Neither politician could think of a way to tell the other what each was going through since they did not know they shared a common, horrifying experience. Such was their conundrum. Regina stood up and asked, "How about some pasta with my special tomato sauce recipe, before you go?"

Profiling 12 chief executives and company founders, Nader highlights how these leaders valued principles as much as the bottom line, and in some cases considered profits to be a mere stepping stone on the way to achieving nobler goals . . . A rosy . . . idiosyncratic tribute to moral leadership.” – Publishers Weekly What? What?" shouted the Infectious Disease Man, pounding his fist on the table for emphasis. "You are planning to use 535 of the most important people in our country, and their staff, as guinea pigs?" A matronly 66-year-old, Velvet cradled Ms. Melosay in her arms and assured her that all is well when it ends well. The rat was probably scared, too, Velvet added reassuringly. The Minority Leader managed a wan smile, but she continued to shake uncontrollably. Sometimes, the water comes out scalding hot, and it catches the person under the shower unaware," Sarah answered. (She felt awful about lying, but there was no choice.)

Wow, wow, do you think the rat is our of the bag, so to speak:''' said The Speaker with high concern. A letter to the editor by a super patriot demanded that all American flags on the Capitol be taken down. "How can our beloved flag flyover buildings dominated by hordes of rats?" she wrote. One news headline, decrying the "mum's the word" posture of the lawmakers, declared, "Congress United Not to Talk: Rats Achieve the Ultimate Filibuster Shutdown."

It's that awful spasm again, Sarah. I'd better see the house doctor. Can you get me an appointment early tomorrow morning?" (He felt awful about lying, but there was no choice.) Speaker Blamer - the more politically savvy of the two - said that they should immediately request The Centers for Disease Control to dispatch teams that would highlight the diseases and pathogens that could emerge to spread beyond the confines of Congress. At his upcoming news conference, he would also note that rats were the carriers of the deadly bubonic plague, which, as recently as the 14th century, had caused devastation in Europe. "Such menacing references," he asserted, "will direct the public's attention toward possible epidemics instead of allowing them to follow their natural inclination to treat the shutdown as a laugh fest." At that moment, the watching media went into high gear, collectively screeching out or trumpeting, depending on political stripe, The Speaker's message, which was, as one put it crisply in a message headline: "Speaker Tosses the Bosses to Make Up the Workers' Losses." Inside the Beltway, commentators speculated that his fellow Republican Party members would be tossing The Speaker upon their return. But outside the Beltway - in America's cities, towns, and rural centers - those commentators who had a feeling for the popular pulse said the grass roots' will of the people was responding to Blamer's remarks with a roar, shaking both the leader and the rank-and-file of Congress to their boots.

One small interconnecting group that was gathering might have seemed destined to the same fading-away fate. Called "Summon Our Lawmakers To Us," (SOLTS), it was well-nigh invisible at first. Its quietude was not due to an inability to make an impact, but due to its concentration, from the first, on planning intensity. This group was not into venting, but engaged in laser-like, in personam lobbying. The members had seen that the most powerful, most successful lobbies on Congress - the ones that twist the lawmakers like putty pretzels - did not bother with demonstrations or marches. Corporate lobbies and organizations such as the NRA and AIPAC (American Israel Public Affairs Committee) have most of the 535 men and women doing their business, right on Capitol Hill.

In any event, nothing came of these interactions. My guess is that having to closely supervise over 70 managers of the sizable corporate subsidiaries of Berkshire requires an intensity of focus and time that is incompatible with the additional project of changing Congress to get good things done – popular as that would be in today’s America.The K-Street lobbyists were already in action on Capitol Hill, marshaling the corporate PACS to make sure that this issue was on the front burner, hinting to legislators that their employers might see this as a litmus test as a condition for their donations. Op-eds, letters to the editors, and editorial condemnation of economically disruptive higher wages and layoffs were already in the pipeline.