Luận điểm nên đưa ra trước rồi đến Luận chứng, điều đó mang lại cảm giác tin tưởng cũng như để người nghe dễ nắm bắt vấn đề. The last few chapters were confusing (I didn’t DNF, it was so short I had to finish. And I wanted to see what other hilarious open liners the author gave). One was on being single and mingling. It felt very out of place in a book on small talk in a professional setting. The author jumps into rants on dating, and how to navigate the scene. It had me laughing once again at the horrendous advice, one of them being “leave your phone in your car”. Yeah…don’t do that. Especially on a first date. I think what the author was trying to say was “don’t look at your phone while on a date”. Not “throw away your only lifeline to the outside world if the date goes bad”. Start thinking of strangers as people who can bring new dimensions to your life, not as persons to be feared.” The actual suggested talking points are more stilted and awkward than anything you could think up yourself and if you didn't already know which subjects to avoid (politics, religion) you've got bigger social problems than this book can fix. However, the author manages to make a few good points and reminded me of a few things I hadn't perhaps taken seriously enough. (Such as pointing out that shyness can be misconstrued as rudeness if you seem to be avoiding conversation and that sometimes taking the aggressive position of initiating the conversation and asking the questions can be a shy person's best defense against being cornered.) Debra Fine was once a shy engineer who kept mostly to herself and because of this, was passed up for a promotion to someone who was more peesonable. She later on opted to become a stay-at-home mom to take care of her 2 kids. Her husband filed for divorce and she found herself jobless with 2 mouths to feed.

Debra Fine explains in this little book of hers that learning how to small talk with others can open doors into other worlds that might never have been possible before because you took the time to listen and relate to what the other person was saying. These are not simple or easy skills to learn because if they were, everyone would be jumping at attending social functions every night. But how often do you find your nights filled with nothing to do at home? People who learn the skills in this book and take it to the next level realize the world of opportunities that are out there every night. Their nights become filled with event functions and networking groups that expand their inner social circle.For example, she encourages readers to be brave and initiate conversations in public situations. Look for the people sitting by themselves. They might appreciate your attempts to chat. Also, if you don't start a conversation, he or she may believe you're being stand-offish. That's not a belief you'd want to encourage. Next, once you're talking to someone, learn his or her name and how to appropriately pronounce it. Ask open-ended questions to foster the conversations and reduce any potentially awkward pauses. Fine recommends using the acronym "FORM" to help you create these questions. FORM stands for family, occupation, recreation and miscellaneous.

A great book for those who want to become a skilled conversationalist. No matter how good you think you are at small talks, there are rooms for improvement. Although many good conversationalists may perceive those lines as ordinary and basic tips, they are eye-opening to me. The book includes handy cheat sheets with prepared conversational lines that can be applied right away. In addition, Debra does a wonderful job in describing psychological processes of those who fear public events and make mistakes in having a small talk with other strangers. I know she is right, because I used to find myself in such situations *laugh shamelessly* Small talk is the Icebreaker that clears the way for more intimate conversation, laying the foundation for a stronger relationship.Actually, I have a very shy friend, one of the librarians I worked with, who swore by this technique of finding a person sitting by themselves. She did extremely well at parties by finding the quietest person in the room and starting a conversation with them. The remaining part of the book goes into different ways of starting a simple conversation with various questions and comments you can memorize to help you get started. The book also covers different situations you will be required to talk in, weddings, company events, parties, singles events, and so on. Learning to speak with others shouldn't be hard, especially if you just take the time to listen to what other people have to say instead of worrying about what you plan to say next. Just to make it clear, whatever I am saying isn't about the book but my reluctance and stubbornness to not give myself a chance to know people better, my failures to build quality social bonds, and keeping them alive! This book is extremely practical and effective and I am going to make some notes to keep them with me to use them in whatever social interaction I may have in the future. Even if kinda out of my comfort, I got to give myself chance to overcome it. I particularly liked the chapter on "The Graceful Exit." The importance and techniques of properly ending a conversation are not something that I've read about before.

Considering these facts, I started this book with the hope that maybe, or, just maybe I can learn something I am terribly bad yet and Improve that part. Honestly, I am skeptical about everything that this buy 'tried' to teach me. I am going to keep in mind some of the effective learnings but I will know their impact whenever I will found myself in any social event. A lot of the conversation topics and ideas in this book seem incredibly robotic and unnatural to even say. I was surprised to see the book was written in 2005. It reads as very dated. Many of the suggestions seemed geared toward business interactions as well, which isn't my area. I took a few pointers away from this book but they were mostly seeing aspects of myself in the "bad conversation skills" section. I accept this and can maybe sort of try to do better.As I said, nothing earth-shattering in here, but in an age of increasing social disconnection because of technology, perhaps these tips could be useful to anyone who is seeking to improve their relationships through small talk.