The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

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A procrastinator perfectionist would experience immense difficulty writing this sentence because it comes at the beginning of a book about perfectionism and, accordingly, needs to be perfect (and there's no better first sentence than the one a procrastinator perfectionist imagines in her head but never actually writes down).

I also realized that if I could be a perfectionist, me, the woman who could never find her phone and who extolled the work of social scientist extraordinaire Dr. Brené Brown to people behind her in line at the grocery store, then anybody could be a perfectionist and not even know it. What exactly was happening here?

Some books will advise you to murder your perfectionism. You will be told it’s an illness that needs to be cured. You will be advised to purposely miss deadlines, run late, and color outside the lines.

An intense perfectionist writes it, hates it, and then channels her frustration into aggression about something entirely unrelated.

Also, the systematic way of operating that classic perfectionists default to doesn't encourage a spirit of collaboration, flexibility, or openness to external influence-qualities that help us build connections. The risk of this interpersonal style is that it can unintentionally generate relationships that veer towards the superficial and transactional. In turn, classic perfectionists can be left feeling excluded, misunderstood, and underappreciated for all that they do. Morgan Schafler lays bare provocative new insights into how "perfectionism" is often just code for "women excelling too much," and identifies the strategies and mindset every high-achieving woman needs to quell her inner critic and embrace her true talents."

A second Trump term would be a watershed in a way the first was not. Victory would confirm his most destructive instincts about power. His plans would encounter less resistance. And because America will have voted him in while knowing the worst, its moral authority would decline. The election will be decided by tens of thousands of voters in just a handful of states. In 2024 the fate of the world will depend on their ballots. ■

The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

A classic perfectionist writes the first sentence, hates it, tries her best to forget it ever existed, but is inevitably haunted by it for a minimum of eight years. When left unchallenged, the perfectionist mindset hooks itself on the motive to perfect (as opposed to improve upon or accept) that which could be made better. This impulse to enhance evolves into a belief that urgently wallpapers itself on all sides of the perfectionist's mind, including the ceiling and floor: "I need something to be different about this moment before I can be satisfied." A valuable, much-needed perspective that gives you permission to be more in a world that's telling you to be less.”