The people they prophesy to will be thrown out into the streets of Jerusalem. They will be victims of famines and wars. No one will bury them, their wives, their sons, or their daughters. I will pour on them the destruction that they deserve.

married, they leave their parents behind and set up their own familyunit. Sex makes them one person: you can’t tell where one stops and theother starts.) Arndorfer, James B (13 December 2004). "Is nothing sacred? Bible gets series of makeovers". Adage. Archived from the original on 24 June 2021 . Retrieved 22 June 2021. Beaujon, Andrew (7 July 2004). "Hallelujah Palooza". Washington Post. ISSN 0190-8286. Archived from the original on 5 April 2022 . Retrieved 22 June 2021. We all growl like bears and moan like doves. We hope for justice, but find none, for salvation, but it is far from us.Justice is driven away, and right cannot come near. Truth stumbles in the public square, and honesty finds no place there. Injustice is everywhere; justice seems far away. Truth is chased out of court; honesty is shoved aside. Jesus is surrounded by a whole range of undesirables. 'Course, the religious leaders and law enforcers spot this and start their 'tutting and frowning' routine again; 'this chap doesn't only talk to these lowlifes; he actually shares his lunch with them!' they whine. So Jesus says, loud enough for the Tutting Club to hear ...

Day seven: Job done - the cosmos and the earth complete. God takes a bit of well-earned R&R and just enjoys. He makes an announcement: 'Let's keep this day of the week special, a day off - a battery-recharge day: Rest Day.'The Minor Prophets / The Dangerous DozenHosea / Your Wife’s a Tart! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 227Joel / Pest Control . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 230Amos / God Hates Your Religion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 233Obadiah / Rival’s Revenge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236Jonah / Courier on a Detour. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237Micah / Justice’s Downside . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 239Nahum / Nineveh’s Nightmare . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 242Habakkuk / Sort It Out, God! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 244Zephaniah / Judgement Day and Beyond. . . . . . . . . . . . 247Haggai / Renew the HQ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 249Zechariah / Get Shovelling! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250Malachi / Halve Your Double Standards . . . . . . . . . . . . 253 No one calls for justice; no one pleads his case honestly. They rely on empty pleas; they tell lies; they conceive mischief and give birth to iniquity. Day one: Then God's voice booms out, 'Lights!' and, from nowhere, light floods the skies and 'night' is swept off the scene. God gives it the big thumbs up, calls it 'day'.

Timothy / Paul to Timo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4212 Timothy / Paul to Timo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 425Titus / Paul to Titus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 429Philemon / Paul to Philemon. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 432 After a long hot trip, he turns the corner into his old street. His dad sees him and runs out into the street in his slippers, throws his arms round him, lifts him up and spins him round. And the noise! The whole street hears it. Soooo embarrassing! Your sons have fainted; they lie at the head of every street, like an antelope in a net. They are full of the wrath of the LORD, the rebuke of your God. The woman eyes up the fruit and thinks, It does look pretty tasty – especiallyif it’s instant wisdom in a couple of bites. So she grabs herself a juicy one,and takes a large chomp out of it. Then she hands it to Adam, and hetakes a mouthful too. Straight off, their eyes are opened and they real-ize they’re stark naked. A new feeling – embarrassment. They stitchtogether some fig leaves and cover the necessaries. At that time," declares the LORD, "the bones of the kings of Judah, the bones of the officials, the bones of the priests, the bones of the prophets, and the bones of the people of Jerusalem will be removed from their graves.Find sources: "Rob Lacey"– news · newspapers · books · scholar · JSTOR ( November 2014) ( Learn how and when to remove this template message) So God puts the man under some sort of divine general anaesthetic, car-ries out a ribectomy, then closes up the gap in his side. God works onthe rib until he’s sculpted it into woman-shape, and then he presents herto Adam. And everyone who listens to them will be killed, just as they deserve. Their dead bodies will be thrown out into the streets of Jerusalem, because their families will also be dead, and no one will be left to bury them.

The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means; and my people love to have it so: and what will ye do in the end thereof?

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Copley, Rich (7 August 2004). "Rewriting the Bible was never so Hip". Lexington-Herald Leader. Archived from the original on 24 June 2021 . Retrieved 22 June 2021. And the people to whom they are prophesying are cast into out-places of Jerusalem, because of the famine and the sword, and they have none burying them—them, their wives, and their sons, and their daughters—and I have poured out their evil on them. Day six: Then God says, 'Let's make people - like us, but human, with flesh and blood, skin and bone. Give them the job of caretakers of the vegetation, game wardens of all the animals.' So God makes people, like him, but human. He makes male and female (for the 'how', see later). He smiles at them and gives them their job description: 'Make babies! Be parents, grandparents, great-grandparents - fill the earth with your families and run the planet well. You've got all the plants to eat from, so have all the animals - plenty for all. Enjoy.' God looks at everything he's made, and says, 'Fantastic. I love it!' Remembering Rob Lacey: CR spoke with his wife Sandra about her new book". Cross Rhythms. Archived from the original on 24 June 2021 . Retrieved 22 June 2021.