This Is Not About Me

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If I’d known you were coming, she’d say eventually, if I’d found out. Things would have been different. In my memory, it opens like a horror film, like a gun going off with smoke furling in its wake. Maybe it was foggy, maybe just his breath coming in from the cold. At any rate, the door opened and he lurched into the hall, leaving it bouncing on the hinges behind him, the whole of the dark outside rushing in like water. And there I was in my night things, holding a spoon, staring. Outside, my mother moans like a seal. His eyes rivet on the board so he can’t see mine filling up, making the whole room quiver. Even so, the piece starts to shift.

The repetitive motion and rhythm of running definitely helped to stimulate and regulate my body so I could handle more of the sensory input I was processing each day. Eddie, she says, from the other side. The handle rattles and stops suddenly. Eddie. We’re just going to my mother’s. Open this door. JZ: Inclusion means everyone participating together and feeling a sense of belonging. Successful inclusion isn’t about everyone doing the same thing or doing everything perfectly, but people share the same outcome—though, how they get there may be different. The entire community must collaborate and embrace this idea. There’s nothing out there, he says. Now sit. Sit there when I tell you. He points at the settee. Just bloody sit. While on her college campus after a FaceTime call with her mom, Zimmerman is asked if she likes school. She shrugs her shoulders, holds for a beat and then types on her iPad ‘I like school, but sometimes not the people.’ Many people can resonate with those who have been portrayed to be cast as outsiders in society. This theme in the documentary will resonate with many viewers.

A group of friends is going out to celebrate the birthday of one of them. They end up in a restaurant that does not have gluten-free food. One of them comments quietly to another that he is gluten-intolerant (which means that he won’t be able to eat anything). His friend replies, “It is not about you.” What is it like to be a person with autism and non-speaking in a world that has already made up its mind about you? This Is Not About Me tells the story of Jordyn Zimmerman. Jordyn dreamt of becoming a teacher. She started out eager to learn at school, but she was soon separated from the other children. Unable to communicate, teachers thought she was also unable to understand or learn. Year after year, her behavior worsened. She was restrained and placed in seclusion. Jordyn found herself caught in a system that unintentionally turned her life into a living nightmare. Finally, at the age of 18, with the help of educators who see her differently, she manages to turn her fate and flourish. We didny get you out your bed, eh? Me and my friends here? She kept walking. You’ll be wanting to get us something to eat?

Jordyn Zimmerman obtained her bachelors degree in Education Policy from Ohio University and her Masters of Education at Boston College. Having experienced special education programs while in school herself, Jordyn hopes to become a catalyst for change. As a nonspeaking student with autism who was denied access to effective augmentative communication (AAC) until she was 18, Jordyn has personal experience challenging the educational status quo, which is featured in the 2021 documentary, This Is Not About Me. JZ: Buster is a Cane Corso, which is an Italian breed of Mastiff. He was a trained service dog, who is now retired. Buster supported me throughout my day at school—providing deep pressure by physically laying his head or whole body on me, attending to me when I was upset, stopping me from running into traffic, and alerting staff when I needed help. But I don’t hear what it is my granny wanted us to bring, because she’s out of earshot already, veering into the kitchen to fetch it. Out of earshot for speaking, anyway. Wherever she is in the house, you can hear her singing. Speeding towards Troon on a corporation bus, I pictured the insipid green wards and the Big Ward Sister not taking no for an answer and the red Victorian sandstone that bound them in. I pictured my mother, a small head afloat on a sea of white cotton, a red tide of blood oozing towards her like lava. I pictured the ranks of bottles revolving on a metal trolley, fresh, white and full of reconstituted powder that had once been the produce of larger, abler animals. What I couldn’t picture was me, the little vampire in the midst of the melodrama, the source of all that worry. Nothing I did could conjure a creature as dependent and irretentive as a baby.

About Newz Hook

It was too late. She was pushing forty, had a daughter who was pregnant herself. She had a nice house, a cat and a washing machine of sorts to care for. But it happened.

A breakdown of Zimmerman’s life through her school years indicates that many of her teachers did not have the expertise or the resources needed to help her complete her education. However, as we see in the film, once she was finally connected with a group of educators who had the resources, patience, and skillset to introduce her to ways of communication outside of society’s “norm,” her life changed dramatically for the better. These new instructors paid attention and helped Zimmerman get to exactly where she is now. They did not give up on her, but most importantly, Zimmerman did not give up on herself. She ultimately completed her high school education and went on to attend Ohio University and then Boston College for graduate school.Filmed in an observational style, This Is Not About Me gives a glimpse into Jordyn’s daily life. The documentary takes us to Jordyn’s schools and involves interviews with teachers that worked closely with her. Jordyn guides us through difficult moments in her childhood. Piece by piece, her story reveals how professionals misunderstood her and pushed her deeper into a broken education system. Despite this system, Jordyn thrived, but her story is not one in a million. There are thousands of students like Jordyn who have something to say.