What happened next is hard to explain. The facts are simple enough: Mike Small stopped scoring – and West Ham stopped winning. We didn’t get another three points until mid-January. As the carnage cleared, a lone limb appeared from the mass of humanity to poke the ball apologetically over the line. It belonged to Mike Small. To add insult to injury, he was probably offside (a position he would later spend most Saturday afternoons). Nonetheless, he celebrated with the massed ranks in the away end like he’d won the World Cup. And why not. During the murder trial in March last year, Elliott had admitted to being involved in stealing the cash.

Unfortunately, my public relations masterclass hadn’t taken into account the price differential between my prized Diadoras and my Mum’s budget for football boots. No matter what I tried: promises of chores, eating more vegetables, spending less time on the Amiga, she wouldn’t budge. And despite my increasingly juvenile protests, it became clear that I was going to end up with the same basic pair of Gola boots that I always did. And now here he was, Arsenal Boy, revelling in my glorious failure. Sensing my unease, he took his sweet time keying in the price and exchanging pathetic small chat with my Mum about how these boots really did offer “good value”, despite knowing all too well that they were crap compared to the Diadoras. If you hear or see anti-social behaviour text the Club’s hotline direct on07860 404 069using the followingkeywords: In a desperate attempt to preserve what little dignity I had remaining, I zoned out of the conversation and focussed on the radio behind the counter. It was playing the Five Live commentary and the familiar voice of commentator Alan Green described the action from the featured game in the Barclays First Division. During a break in play, he brought a score update from around the grounds and my heart stopped when I realised where he was going next: Arsenal. Oh please no.

You can get name and number printing on any kit available within our store, in the same style the players wear on the pitch. Choose ANY name - including your own. Defending Elliott in the burglary trial, Rupert Hallowes said: “In proceedings that occurred in this court in the early part of last year was the first time you made a public admission confession to committing the robbery. Avoid delays - please don't bring bags to the venue. All bags will be subject to a search regime.Large bags are not permitted and there are no left luggage facilities

The highlight of Small’s time in Claret and Blue came during four glorious days at the end of October when the First Division fixture computer conjured up successive games against Tottenham and Arsenal. We had a disastrous start against Spurs when our central defenders, as they so often did in this era, contrived to leave Gary Lineker – England’s captain and goalscorer supreme – totally unmarked on the penalty spot. London Stadium management reserves the right to deny entry to guests wearing clothing items or signs displaying offensive text and/or images

Family friendly Wi-Fi certification

The midas touch deserted him. It was as if overnight, he lost all his reserves of good fortune. The scuffed shots bobbled out of play, the mis-controls were gobbled up by centre-halves. With every passing game, the confidence drained from his very being. It was awful to watch. Then there are those for whom the mere mention of his name provokes the pained grimace of seeing a thousand offsides, and a man’s confidence crumble before your very eyes. In reply, Elliott denied being involved in any part of the robbery or being one of the men shown in the CCTV.