Where the Sea Meets the Sky

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He feels safe. Calm. Somewhere underlying all that he’s still shaken from the epiphany he had before. Nature’s sole purpose is to declare the glory of God. “Its voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.” 1 Psalm 19:4 He’s not sure if he’s okay. Not sure if he ever will feel safe again with the information he’s just learned. Maybe a little,” Jeongguk says, while his mind is screaming, He’s here. He didn’t leave. But Namjoon doesn’t need to know about that. He doesn’t need to know about the weight that is lifted from Jeongguk’s heart either, about the pure, raw relief that rushes through him.

Putting on one of his many hoodies, he walks to the door, opening it cautiously. Just as he suspected there’s at least half a meter of snow piled up in front of the door, and it’s still snowing. The car is nothing but a small hill covered entirely by snow.The timidity as they slowly stepped into the waves, fearful of what lurked beneath the waters. A lesson in trust, almost bashful as they reached out farther following their father, who was inviting them to follow. Experiencing the wonder of the ocean for the first time through the eyes of our children was breathtaking. Do you think you can sleep like this?” Namjoon asks, his hand still caressing Jeongguk’s hair while he pulls the duvet over both of them. “Is this okay?” Your scent. It reminds me of cinnamon buns. It’s sweet, but there’s something spicy underlying as well.”

Jeongguk hears him coming closer to his bed, lingering for a few seconds before the bedside lamp gets switched off. The softest sigh, the most delicate touch on Jeongguk’s fringe before Namjoon’s steps return to the couch in the middle of the room. He loves this feeling. This seemingly unlimited care Namjoon has in himself. Jeongguk loves being cared for, as hard as it is to admit.

It was interesting to smell how it built up, and I’d love to know what got you this— let's call it excited for now. I didn’t know,” Jeongguk denies, ”But then again what do I know? It feels like we only have scratched the surface of what there is to know.” Timid and afraid, with pride and contempt, we hide behind our fears, our perfectly crafted image, afraid to step out into the unknown. I’d—” he starts, only to get interrupted by the announcement that his station is next. “This is me,” he says, trying to sound as if he’s not affected, as if he wasn’t about to say that he’d love that too. That he wants more of the stars, wants to drown in the sea. Jeongguk has to laugh through the residue of his tears, about to apologize again, but he stops himself. “Can I say thank you at least?”