QBQ!: The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability at Work and in Life

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Ineffective anecdotes. None of the anecdotes correlate directly to the message. None of the anecdotes are of people using the QBQ method. I recently left the company I had been working for the last twelve years and the awesome team I had cultivated there. Going into a new company and new culture was a little scary and I wasn't sure what to expect. In some ways the company culture is better and in some ways it was worse. There are always trade offs right, but starting with a new team I found there were a few people in it that played the blame game actively and while some statements made might be true they weren't productive to getting work done. So it's these five principles-Learning, Ownership, Creativity, Service, and Trust-that give us a tremendous advantage in our lives, but not without practicing personal accountability. And the QBQ helps us do just that. While in the airport waiting on my flight I stumbled across this small book and thought it looked like an interesting read. I snagged it from the bookstore and soon was settled into my seat waiting to take off. I started reading it and within an hour had finished it. When a light switch is flipped the flow of energy that is released reaches the lightbulb in an instant, bringing it to life. Similarly, asking the right kind of question-a QBQ-is the first step to empowering what Miller calls the Advantage Principles-five essential practices that will lead to a richer experience in every aspect of life:

Immediately, my wife took notice. She'd make a suggestion, preparing for the worst, and I'd thank her. She was stunned. Some situations prove to have barriers that seem insurmountable. Often we find ourselves focusing only on these problems and our limitations, rather than what we can change. By asking questions with “I” in them, we shift the focus from what we can’t improve, to what we can. Once we do that, our situation seems so much better. Lesson 3: To master the QBQ, ask questions that focus on action. Action, even when it leads to mistakes, brings learning and growth. Inaction brings stagnation and atrophy.” I was on a long flight, sitting next to a man in his mid-​fifties. We introduced ourselves and started a friendly conversation along the lines of “Where are you heading?” and “What do you do?” It turns out he owns a second home near Aspen and was just returning from a twenty-one-day ski vacation. Wow! I thought. Twenty-one days in Aspen. This man has some discretionary income! He went on to say that he lives in New York City and works on Wall Street. Guess what he does? He’s not a broker. He’s a personal injury attorney.When we ask better questions, we get better answers. The QBQ guidelines show us how to build better questions and which questions to avoid. Also, it's important to remember that these are questions we ask of ourselves, not of others. The QBQ is primar-ily a self-management tool, designed to help us re-frame our own thinking. Here's an integrity test for anyone who's part of an organiziation: Does what we say about our organization while we're at work match what we say at home? If it's positive at work and negative a few hours later at home, we have a choice to make. Here's an idea we should all consider: This brand-new workbook and study guide will take you deeper into the material, allowing you to explore and absorb how to replace blame, complaining, and procrastination with personal accountability, by asking the simple question, "What can I do better next time?" On the home front, I have a 9-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son, and I have been preaching the concept of personal accountability to them for a couple of years now. We have always had great kids who listen to their parents and care, but it's definitely taken it to another level. They solve their own problems (well, most of the time) but they own their choices and consequences. I was proud when my daughter was selected as the award recipient in her class for, you guessed it, ownership. As for my son, a funny moment happened yesterday. After letting our dog out of her room for being in doggy timeout, my son promptly told our dog, "Maya, it's your choice if you want to be good or bad." Couldn't have said it better myself. Personal accountability is about eliminating blame, complaining, and procrastination. When we point fingers looking for "whodunit," when we lament about our situation and what people are doing to us, and when we delay our own contribution while waiting for others to act, we are not putting personal accountability into action.

This book will help each of us learn to recognize and ask better questions. And just to be clear, QBQs are questions we generally ask ourselves, not others. They are rarely questions we speak out loud to colleagues, customers, family, and friends— but rather ones we think in our own mind.

Success!

The Question Behind the Question (QBQ) is a great starter book to identify when you are asking an incorrect question as opposed to a productive question. For example some of the incorrect questions management asks are things like: In this book, we will explore the QBQ! Advantage Principles-five fundamental concepts or values that guide our behavior. The QBQ! Advantage Principles are: