I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

And, as you're flyin' over to Maui, you realize that you're really spread out now: You've got stuff all over the world!! Stuff at home, stuff in the garage, stuff at your parents' house (maybe), stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, and stuff on the plane. Supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain! And you know how sometimes when you're visiting someone, you unexpectedly have to stay overnight? It gets real late, and you decide to stay over? So they put you in a bedroom they don't use too often . . . because Grandma died in it eleven years ago! And they haven't moved any of her stuff? Not even the vaporizer? One of the fabulous aspects of "Brain Droppings" is that George Carlin delivers it himself. His timing is immaculate and he is the master of word play including puns, oxymorons, irony and general critique of our ridiculous use of language. For example, he feels we should "eliminate anyone who has a 'can-do' attitude or is referred to as 'take charge', 'all business' or 'no nonsense'." He suggests we "have these people sedated."Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” – George Carlin George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion Medical News Today has strict sourcing guidelines and draws only from peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical journals and associations. We avoid using tertiary references. We link primary sources — including studies, scientific references, and statistics — within each article and also list them in the resources section at the bottom of our articles. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. be disappointed. Carlin demolishes everyday values and yet leaves you laughing out loud. You'll learn what he thinks of sports fans, how he would improve the TV networks, his suggestions for Legal Murder Once a Month, and his plan for World Peace Through Constant Dancing. Also included are two classic Carlin monologues - "A Place for My Stuff" and "Baseball and Football." I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” – George Carlin

So stuff is important. You gotta take care of your stuff. You gotta have a place for your stuff. Everybody's gotta have a place for their stuff. That's what life is all about, tryin' to find a place for your stuff! That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. He mentions being happy the Yankees annihilated the Braves in the World Series in the book, but mentions it happened twice in the audiobook, as the two teams played again in 1999. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years.” – George Carlin Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” – George Carlin And you've got other stuff in your car. In the glove box. Stuff you might need in a hurry: flashlight, map, sunglasses, automatic weapon. You know. Just in case you wind up barefoot on the highway some night.People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.” – George Carlin Religion is like a pair of shoes…..Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.” – George Carlin I would say, "rest in peace, George." But he would think that is so trite, meaningless and lame, so I won't.

So now you got a houseful of stuff. And, even though you might like your house, you gotta move. Gotta get a bigger house. Why? Too much stuff! Or maybe, put some of your stuff in storage. Storage! Imagine that. There's a whole industry based on keepin' an eye on other people's stuff. In a non-chronological change, in his "Baseball and Football" segment, he adds the weird fact that baseball is the only one of the four major American sports that is sensibly unwatchable in a mirror. (Though this was touched on in one of his "Short Takes" sections.) So you keep gettin' more and more stuff, and puttin' it in different places. In the closets, in the attic, in the basement, in the garage. And there might even be some stuff you left at your parents' house: baseball cards, comic books, photographs, souvenirs. Actually, your parents threw that stuff out long ago.I'll put some stuff in here, you put some stuff in there. Hey, don't put your stuff in there! That's my stuff! Here's another place! Put some stuff in here. And there's another place! Hey, you know what? We've got more places than we've got stuff! We're gonna hafta go out and buy . . . more stuff!!!'

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” – George Carlin The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.” – George Carlin I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer’s disease where they slowly began to recover other people’s lost memories.” – George Carlin I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.” – George CarlinSince there was a 3-year gap between the printed book and the audiobook, a few things were changed due to changes in both Carlin's personal life and in the world in general. Oladele, R. O., Bongomin, F., Gago, S., & Denning, D. W. (2017, December 2). HIV-associated cryptococcal disease in resource-limited settings: A Case for "Prevention is better than cure"? Journal of Fungi, 3(4), 67 People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.” – George Carlin Access-restricted-item true Addeddate 2010-06-29 20:34:28 Bookplateleaf 0002 Boxid IA111010 Boxid_2 CH101601 Camera Canon 5D City New York Containerid_2 X0001 Donor