Lots of examples, outlines, and exercises to help you start thinking more strategically about how you convey (and convince) people of your points. Although, this is less about debate skills and more about getting through to people in effective ways--rather than politely skirting AROUND major issues. It's about improving and enriching relationships. You know you need to sort the problem but facing it head on is scary. Maybe you’ve had similar conversations in the past that didn’t go to plan. The more you apply these principles to your conversations, the more you will see a transformation in your romantic relationship. Susan concludes this topic by discussing what she learned at an early age and called, The Decision Tree. The decision tree in my eyes was more like a map of delegation and consisted of four categories, which are: Leaf Decisions, Branch Decisions, Trunk Decisions and Root Decisions. The goals of the decision tree are: to identify clearly which categories decisions and actions fall into, to provide employees with a clear upward path of professional development, and to assist companies in consciously developing grassroots leadership within their organizations, freeing up executives to take on more challenging responsibilities themselves.

Don’t talk too much, let them. As long as you are talking, you are not learning aything you didn’t know already. Silence is where what is real can be detected.” – Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a TimeOur radar works perfectly. It is the operator who is in question.” – Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time At first glance, it seems like a nonsensical thing to do. Reality just is, it needn't be interrogated. We live in the present and the spread of the internet has rendered all of us more informed than ever before. Right? Well, not so much. We connect with the people who are similar to us, we follow blogs and channels that interest us and say what we want to hear. Most people live in their own bubble and are not really aware of when and how things change. Or how other people change, for that matter. Getting out of the comfort zone and probing how things truly stand is highly necessary.

Disclosing my real thoughts and feelings is risky. Disclosing what I really think and feel frees up energy and expands possibilities. Most people can’t handle the truth, so it’s better not to say anything. Though I have trouble handling the truth sometimes, I’ll keep telling it and inviting it from others. It’s important that I convince others that my point of view is correct. Exploring multiple points of view will lead to better decisions. I will gain approval and promotions by exchanging my personal identity for my organization’s identity. My personal identity will be expanded as my colleagues and I exchange diverse points of view. Reality can’t be changed. There’s no point in fighting it. Perhaps we can change reality with thoughtful conversations. As an expert, my job is to dispense advice. My job is to involve people in the problems and strategies affecting them. I’ll keep my mouth shut; this is a job for the experts. My point of view is as valid as anyone else’s. I need to ignore what I’m feeling in my gut; just put my head down and do my job. I know what I know, and what I know, I need to act on. Let’s” Fierce conversations are sometimes hard to have because of the courage they require, but they don’t have to be frightening, cruel or threatening. Fierce conversations is a great resource for anyone who finds themselves struggling to communicate in a way that brings you closer to the people you care about. Whether it's home or at work - I think this book can help you take a step in the right direction to develop those tools. In my experience, you'll also need practice, but having the guidelines in Fierce will give you a great foundation and a reference to revisit. Susan Scott's writing makes you feel like you're having a fierce conversation with her while she's outlining the principles of a fierce conversation. The examples don't feel contrived and the "assignments" are relevant and actually helpful. These questions will help aid ourselves in interrogating our own reality, but understanding how it affects another person’s reality based on our decision of withholding what we really want to say or courageously speaking our interpretation of reality. Everyone’s reality is valid and is worth being considered, if realities are not explored by both people in the relationship it may cause a buildup of emotional tension that will take twice the time and energy to clean up after than it would have been. The three steps of interrogating reality with another person are: With real conversations, you have the power to change your relationship before the conversation even ends. 3. Be here, prepared to be nowhere else

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Confront Your Toughest Challenge – Take the time to properly identify the problem or issue at hand. Dodging the problem or issue will do nothing but prolong the dilemma and allow the most extreme result to come of it.