I loved this book in spite of its many criticisms of what was my personal devotion to the Dr. Sears School of Attachment Parenting and in spite of its celebration of the working mother, a lifestyle of which I know nothing and a topic which I find to be complicated and uncomfortable to discuss. There is no mention of homeschooling. French women do not make a fuss about delivery. 98% of them take epidurals as part of giving birth. To them, taking an epidural does not make them bad mothers, but rather a clinical means to get the baby safely from the womb to their arms.

I always felt the need to defend my personal ideas on parenting, after all I'm not a mother, so what could I know? But in a twist of validation I read that my ideas aren't so far fetched, that they are common practice in France. Don't cater to your child's every whim at dinner, expect them to eat what you eat? That's not barbaric (as some online mommy forums would say), it's much more healthy than allowing children to limit their palates (this is a fear of mine as my partner has become an adult with severely limited food tolerance based on a childhood of being fed separate "kids" food). Don't rush to them immediately during the night at the slightest whimper? Why, some American parenting experts call this abandonment and negligence. Carve out a space that is just for you and your partner, such as your bed? Certain "attachment parenting" guru's call this cruel, advocating for a baby that clings to you at all times. This will be one of the only - if not THE only - parenting style books I read. I'm a Francophile anyway, but I loved this American expat's take on the study of French parenting & how she tried to integrate it, as best she could, into her children's lives while living in Paris. Firm rules & boundaries, but with freedom within that. Respect for children as intelligent beings capable of learning - and NOT in need of constant hand holding to do so. Respecting the fact that parents have lives & needs - and that the world doesn't revolve around your kids. No hovering, over analyzing, emphasis on "parenting style", constant praise, paranoia like American parents today do. One of my biggest peeves is having a conversation with a friend who's attention is about 50% - because the other 50% is talking to or entertaining their kid. French children are taught that being alone & entertaining yourself (even as toddlers) is expected. Their parents respect them enough to allow them to do so, and in return, they respect their parents' needs separate from them, too. I've always had a soft spot for the French (well, except for that kid, Pierre, who took one of my classes and affirmed every single bad stereotype of Parisians I'd ever heard, and then some). I especially love to read about how Americans perceive French life; I suppose this is an example of me living vicariously through my book choices. Anyway. Bringing Up Bebe has been popping up on my various radar screens for weeks, and I've been at my wit's end with my newly minted three year old lately, so when the opportunity to read a book for pleasure this afternoon presented itself, I decided, why not? I have been a poor sleeper for years so am quite up on sleep cycles etc and can see that what she says in regard to getting babies to sleep through the night makes perfect sense. As well as specific ideas about how to bring up children, French couples seem determined not to let themselves become defined by their new status as parents. Staying attentive to your relationship, or “le couple” as the French call it, is seen as key.I live in the UK, and if you’ve ever been out for a Sunday lunch you’ll find stressed parents, trying to force feed Spaghetti Bolognese to a screaming toddler, whilst not really having a lovely conversation with the friends they agreed to meet up with. French babies on average sleep in their own cot, in their own bedroom as soon as they come home from hospital (aged around 5 days). Co-sleeping is almost unheard of and definitely frowned upon. Some parents have babies in their room with them, but nowhere near as much as in the UK and not for as long. Delphine is a Paris-born marketing executive who now lives in London with her German husband and two children, a boy aged two and a girl aged six months. She agrees with some of the book’s observations. As she peers into the world of Gallic child-rearing, she discovers that not only do French children behave better at the dinner table, they also seem to sleep better, learn good manners and are less prone to shrieking tantrums.

When I spoke to my French friends on the phone, I ­realised they never had to rush off because the kids asked for something.But there are contradictions. While much is made of the French obsession with eating and serving the best quality and freshest food, they appear to see no issues with giving their infants one of the most processed foods known to man: infant formula. Over the years, I've softened my position on the need to breast feed but I don't think it serves the debate well to pretend that infant formula is a "whole food". The contradiction is not resolved because it really can't be. The baby continues to despise car journeys, despite the admirable efforts of two taxi drivers to soothe him by playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at full blast. Time to start taking the bus more. She also published Lust In Translation: Infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee in 2007 with Penguin Group that examined the nature of marital infidelity. She claims that North America is the worst place to have an extramarital affair, because of the high degree of honesty Americans expect from their partners, and observed that the French have a much more understanding and permissive attitude towards adultery. [8] [9] Eliane Glaser frames it as the cult of the perfect mother, elsewhere it’s “intensive mothering” or “conscientious cultivation”. However it is described, it boils down to the belief that every moment must have conspicuous educational or emotional value. As far as I’ve read, it is a largely western construct and is not only bad for women, but also bad for children, who should be allowed to discover the world for themselves or through play with other children. It manifests in the competitive obsession with baby classes, where everything is a learning opportunity (see also the baby sensory movement). Hence, perhaps, my (in hindsight) insane decision to take a three-month-old premature infant to baby swimming, an activity to which he objected to in the strongest terms. What was I thinking? And why did I feel so guilty when we quit? Fascinating... gripping... extremely funny... A desperately needed corrective to received wisdom about child-rearing and what having children is supposed to do to a woman's sense of self. I loved it. It made me want to move to Paris The Sunday Times

That mission is recounted in her new book, French Children Don't Throw Food (to be published as Bringing Up Bébé in the US). It is a fascinating and entertaining journey through her exploration of how the French bring up children and how she then tries to apply it to her own family. Ein Kollege hat mir schon vor einiger Zeit dieses Buch wärmstens empfohlen, es sei DER Erziehungsratgeber für werdende Eltern und er schwört auf die Erziehungstipps aus Paris.This Anglophone idea that the child must be at the centre of everything and that the lives of the adults must revolve entirely around the child just doesn’t exist in France,” she says. Her discussion of The Pause was great in the same way; while she framed it mostly to do with listening to children and their needs (extremely important), I feel like it also gives parents a moment to gather themselves as well. I can imagine stumbling into a dark bedroom at night where a crying child lay, and just doing anything to help them. That makes complete sense. But forcing yourself to stop for a second gives you the parent a moment to think, not just for the kid's sake, but so you don't live your life feeling like you're on a high wire. A) Why do French kids behave so well at mealtimes and why there are no splotches of food on the floor?

We were staying in a little hotel and had all our meals in restaurants around the port,” she explains when we meet in a café in Paris’ Marais district. Die meisten Ansätze sind auch nicht unbedingt neu (müssen sie auch nicht sein) oder besonders französisch. Eine große Ausnahme bildet da das Essverhalten, Kindern (ab einem gewissen Alter) wird scheinbar zu jeder Mahlzeit ein mehrgängiges Menü angeboten, es gibt kein besonderes Essen für Kinder, sie bekommen, was die Eltern essen, und müssen von allem probieren, bevor sie es ablehnen dürfen. French parents tend to set rigorous rules around a few key areas including food, meal times and sleeping. They also teach children the importance of waiting, rather than giving in immediately to each new demand.

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It’s simply that the child must learn, from a very young age, that he’s not alone in this world, and that there’s a time for everything. The New York Times Wins an Emmy (Its Tenth)". The New York Times Company. 6 October 2017 . Retrieved 16 August 2023. If you’re expecting step-by-step guidance on how to bring up your children, you’ll be disappointed, but if you’re looking for themes on how to raise your children so they act appropriately in social situations and how you won’t lose your own identity, then it does deliver.