This book spoke to me about the extent to which feminism can be exploited which is boundless it seems, the extent to which conventional upbringing turn women – both the victim and her mother, in this case – as enablers, accepting such inhumanity as “fate”, reconciling with destiny and the implausible extent to which she endures it in silence, careful lest she harms the “honour” of her man, secretly pushing her pride under the carpet till it’s stained with her own blood. love with a muslim boy, named Anees, who would pass passionate letters to her in academy. She started dreaming of her marriage to him and end of her incarceration in her mother’s well-built prison-like cell. After much drama, her mother gave consent to

This book epitomizes what is wrong with the Pakistani "elite", the class of people who run the country with often-ill earned money and power. But that's not a result of any intention by the author, which makes the book itself a terrible read. Hypocrisy, egoism, cruelty, nepotism, immorality, tyranny - these are the themes that dominate this book and its characters, the author included. Kristof, Nicholas. 2009. “Feudalism in Pakistan.” New York Times, August 1. http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/08/01/feudalism-in-pakistan/. Swarup H. Sending ripples in Pak society The Tribune, India. 1 November 1998. (Accessed 8 October 2015)Looking at the book from this light, the presentation of Mustafa Khar, the antagonist of this narrative, makes for a very interesting study. Since the story is very overwhelmingly about a woman’s escape from her abusive marriage, I had imagined the abuser would be painted with a very harsh brush. But this book flips the switch by not even taking a more diplomatic, distant tone, but rather coming across as —there really is no other way to put this—begrudgingly admiring. It sounds like how a person, horrified by someone’s cruelty and misogyny, is simultaneously awed by them and how, by indulging in their horrible behavior, the person has managed to gain and retain power. In multiple scenes, the ghastly things that Khar did are presented as an example of his prowess or his thinking abilities rather than as a testament to his foul personality. When I was trying to convince my best friend to read this book, she expressed doubt about wanting to read a bad book. But whether this is a good book or not is hard to say, since (unlike fiction) nonfiction, and especially biographies, must be reviewed in a manner completely different to what I am used to. Does one judge a biography on how faithful to reality it is, or how comprehensive in containing the life under discussion? Even after writing a 4000 word review I can’t properly decide how I feel about it. As a closing argument, I think this book is a must read. I think everyone should definitely read it once, and then engage in a long, healthy debate about all of the things that surround it. Recommended. Punjab's ex-CM Shahbaz Sharif confirms Marriage with Tehmina Durrani". Daily Times (Pakistan). Archived from the original on 3 September 2009. Despite the fact that our mother had divorced her first husband, we were taught that marriage was a sacred and irrevocable institution. If a husband turned out to be a brute, it was the wife’s duty to persevere until she changed his character. A broken marriage was a reflection of a woman’s failure.

Okay, so first things first: This book, like its author is very real. Its real in the sense that as you keep reading, you eventually fall under its spell, which is perhaps intentional on the Author's part, she does try too hard to justify her actions (and reactions) throughout the book. She hated her mother for strict discipline, maintaining family and Islamic values, helping her husband established financially, providing all the luxuries of life to her children etc. While they were both married when they met, Mustafa Khar manipulated the situation enough to ensure Tehmina's divorce. His marriage to her soon after, ultimately resulted in his own divorce from Sherry, his fifth wife. Horribly deluded, Tehmina always believed that Mustafa’s inability to hold a workable marriage all this while was because “he had not found the right woman” yet, but this was soon to be challenged. She endured his violent and volcanic temperament in silence for more than a decade, never finding enough courage to leave him. She stood by him in the toughest period of his political career; however, Mustafa rewarded her patience and benevolence towards him with infidelity and betrayal. Caught in the web of family drama and the prospect of social stigma Tehmina endured for a long while, but there comes a point when enough is enough! Being the citizen of a patriarchal society where the cultural norm for women is to remain silent against oppression, I sensed the stifling darkness of the corner she was pushed into, which led her to offer “spicy” details of her life for public consumption. The political infidelity, the mere play of words and melodrama are already the sad realities of our country's political situations, but for men that identify with such duplicity, hypocrisy and instability to have rule and power adds to the readers' disappointment.

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In "My Feudal Lord," she revealed that Khar was a sociopath, scandalous, disgraceful, physical and sexual abuser, and had extramarital affairs. The pain she experienced after discovering Khar's illicit relationship with her youngest sister, Adeela Durrani, was unbearable and devastated her deeply. Tehmina caught them multiple times, but they denied it and made her believe that it was an illusion due to her mental illness. Tehmina tried everything to keep her marriage intact, but she always fell short and had to endure humiliation from her husband. After a series of heated arguments, Tehmina asked Khar for a divorce because nothing was going in her favor. Riveting…one of the many remarkable qualities of Durrani’s story in her total frankness…she emerges as a woman to be admired.’ The Age, Melbourne