Pageboy: A Memoir

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A personal aside: His smoking drove me crazy but tobacco smoking always drives me crazy. I hope that he no longer smokes or will stop. There was a lot that was difficult here, I was surprised at how much. But I didn't find myself dwelling all that much on the traumas, I really enjoyed how unapologetically queer the book is and clung to that more than anything else.

I experienced it a bit like when I made an X-Men movie when I was 18 and it premiered at Cannes. ... I remember just being in this very tight, gold dress and my publicist at the time, like the face just brightening up and people just going on and on about how you look, like you'd accomplished this feat, like I'd [been] given a reward for, like donning what felt like a costume for me, essentially. But it wasn't until Juno where that was just taken to a whole new level and intensely pressured to dress a certain way and act a certain way and not be seen with my girlfriend. This is a well written and at times poetic book. The descriptions of people, places, relationships, and to himself are vivid and well said. I'll prove to you all that I need nothing. The little voice would brag with a creak of a side smile. pg. 78 I resent that we were cheated out of our love, that beautiful surge in the heart stolen from us. I am furious at the seeds planted without our consent, the voices and the actions that made our roads to the truth unnecessarily brutal. pg. 179 As he navigated criticism and abuse from some of the most powerful people in Hollywood, a past that snapped at his heels, and a society dead set on forcing him into a binary, Elliot often stayed silent, unsure of what to do. Until enough was enough.

This book will be released in a month, exactly, and I'm counting the days to read it. I can't wait! As many have pointed out, the author eschews a linear retelling of his life, in favor of bouncing around in time and attempting to tie things together thematically, or just as it occurs to him. Had I not just finished Andrew Rannells' new book right beforehand, which uses a similar template, that probably would have irked me more. But it IS sometimes difficult to tell just where you are timewise, especially as the actor rarely pinpoints such tales with what he is working on at the time, which might have provided welcome signposts to where in his life/career we are. Searing, deeply moving, and incredibly poignant... This isn’t simply a book on what it means to be trans, it’s about what it means to be human." Join Book Club: Delivered to your inbox every Friday, a selection of publishing news, literary observations, poetry recommendations and more from Book World writer Ron Charles. Sign up for the newsletter. Searing, deeply moving, and incredibly poignant... This isn’t simply a book on what it means to be trans, it’s about what it means to be human." —Alok Vaid-Menon

You can listen to the full discussion from today's show on CBC Listen or on our podcast, Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud, available wherever you get your podcasts . I think this is a valuable book and hope that it will help people have empathy and more understanding for trans and queer people and maybe for themselves for whoever they are and whatever they’re going through. The thought of confronting him, setting any boundary at all, made me feel like I was going to shit blood. pg. 155

Elliot Page

Mel: Exactly, and it's not just me. That's the case for thousands of people. Elliot writes in the book about one of his queer possibility models, a family friend named Julia Sanderson, and the fact that I think he as a public figure and this book will serve as that for queer and trans kids and show them yeah, the book is heavy — it's got a lot of abuse and hardness in it — but it also has so much joy and so much trans possibility in it. And I think that that is just so exciting for people to be able to see, to read and to be able to connect with.

Playing a character that was partially starved to death allowed me to lean in to my desire to disappear, to punish myself. ...

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This both feels incredibly personal and yet incredibly removed. It's a very purposefully removed narrative voice, cold and crisp, as Elliot goes through details of past experiences, cruelty and otherwise. Some of these stories are incredibly personally, and there's something simultaneously painful and cathartic about reading them. As the book came towards its conclusion, I craved more of an intense emotional connection. It's a very inconclusive memoir, and I think that's on purpose. I wished for a conclusion, but understood this as an artistic choice.

The audiobook is a good one, though I do recommend speeding up the narration if you normally don't, as he speaks pretty slowly. I normally do audiobooks at between 1.1x and 1.25x speed, but I had this one higher. If you publish a book, even if it's your own personal journey and feelings and whatnot, I am going to judge it as any other book. If it's not written well, I'm going to say so. I don't know why I didn't demand he leave, ask for people to do more than "Yo, leave her alone." Some of my closest friends were there, witnessing it. Power works in funny ways. He was, and still is, one of the most famous actors in the world. pg. 66 I would pass a giant photograph of her, the poster for her latest film. Her beauty is dangerous, I'd think, it'll cause a car crash," he writes.But I would rather remember, I’d rather the hurt than not—at least I got it love you, at least I felt your love for me.” As she walked off I did what I could to prevent tears from ruining the makeup." Trouble on the set of 'Flatliners' If the little man does throw a wobbly on the day, then bribing him with sweets, toys or other special treats is certainly an option to consider (but we didn’t tell you that!). Elamin: When you say "stream of consciousness," is there a narrative arc still to the book, or not so much?