Each card has been ranked on our Misery Index. The Misery Index is our ranking system that runs from 1 to 100. As you'll see, some of the situations on the cards are pretty minor (like a bee sting), and some of them are more problematic (like getting fired).

To win the card, you don't have to guess the exact index number (which would be, like, impossible).

Setup

You may be wondering: how did we rank the cards? Well, we didn't. We asked a panel of serious, highly qualified grown-ups to do it for us. Our panel includes marriage counselors, therapists, career counselors and social workers; collectively representing over 150 YEARS of clinical psychiatric experience. Trust us-they know their stuff. If you guessed correctly, you win the card. It remains, face up, in your lane of pain and your turn is then over. If a card says "Phone falls in toilet", don't assume that you fished it out, did the whole rice thing, and miraculously it still works. No. Your phone is ruined, all your data is lost, and you don't have insurance. Way to go.

We’ve asked a panel of highly qualified professionals to carefully evaluate each situation card, and rank them on our Misery Index, which runs from 1 to 100. The panel included marriage counselors, therapists, career counselors and social workers; collectively representing over 150 years of clinical psychiatric experience. As additional cards are won, the gaps between the cards in your LANE OF PAIN narrow and the game becomes more challenging.

The Misery Index

Pepper spray in eyes has a Misery Rating of 26, so the answer is: B: between disastrous haircut and root canal When considering a bad situation, you should assume the worst possible, yet still plausible, scenario. These super sexy cards can be played on their own, but if you’re feeling frisky, they’ll make beautiful babies with all of the Shit Happens versions. The same player who was man enough to deal the cards gets to go first. When it's your turn, the player to your right draws a card from the draw pile. S/he reads the horrible situation aloud but doesn't reveal the misery index number.