The day flew by because all I did was daydream about various fantasies I wanted to recreate with Mr. Singer. As people started to leave for the day, I was confused to see him, too, in his overcoat. “Adrienne, I’m sorry, you’ll have to pull the files without me, I’ve got a last minute dinner I need to attend.” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my face, I’m sure he caught it, but I didn’t really care. I was all wound up… for nothing. “Sure thing.” For Terry, feeling embarrassed is part of the fun – despite being at the larger end of the line-up. He explains, ‘it’s still embarrassing getting measured, and being naked with other people – especially when it’s only the men who are naked. I like the embarrassment of being exposed, and the comments I get from being viewed. I enjoy it and get turned on.’ Morality: fantasy can help you escape your dreary, everyday life at the office; it can also cause a great deal of havoc. But it’s something you can also act on, provided the conditions are met to allow it to flourish outside the context of power relationships. So what if you invited your colleague to step out the usual framework, and let yourself be surprised by reality?

Couples therapy can be a great avenue for opening up conversations about sex and the development of your sex life, if you both feel the need to have a mediator there. We all have fantasies. Some of them are highly romantic, like being swept away by Prince Harry to join the Royal Family in England. Others are darker, more risqué. We don’t always like to admit to having these fantasies, women especially, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have them. Would you feel comfortable telling your friends that you fantasize about being handcuffed to a bed post while someone coats your body in molasses? You probably never found the right time to mention it. Perhaps we wouldn’t find our fantasies so unusual if we realized how common they actually are. According to Annabelle, her events tend to start with a striptease from the men. ‘A performance is a must – if they just take their clothes off, what’s the point?’ She says. ‘Forfeits for the worst will be determined by us ladies. It could be a spanking or we might make them melt an ice cube in their bum – it’s entertaining to see them squirm.’ Ideally, you could take advantage of an event that might merge the private and professional spheres – or even provoke it. Why not try to get close to them during the annual seminar in the countryside, or ask if they’d like to meet up in another setting? We sometimes need to change space to reveal other facets of our multiple identities: we’re not the same at work and outside. A friend told me they only started to see her handsome colleague in a new light after she accepted his invitation to attend the Dunkirk carnival. Now, they form a happy couple. At Annabelle’s second event, there were ‘hotter men, less of them asking to f*** me, and the ability to tease them without touching – that’s when I knew I love this.’While we need to be mindful of our partners boundaries and respect their right to say no, there’s no harm in broaching the subject with a sexual partner. For Annabelle, it’s a must that all her boyfriends are into CFNM. ‘It’s one of the top requirements,’ she says. Annabelle raises the topic fairly early on: ‘I wouldn’t blurt it out right at the outset, but I’d cover it at the sex chat stage, if I thought the relationship was going somewhere. I’d ask if they had any fetishes or interests – most respond with something – then I’d mention CFNM.” Fantasy also allows us to project ourselves into an imaginary reality where we could experience something else, and even dream of being someone different. In the fantasy of flirting or sexual intercourse with the colleague also conceals the desire to play out a new and unexpected scenario, the curiosity to play a new part in the social game of seduction. “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players”, says the melancholic Jaques in the introduction to Shakespeare’s play As You Like It (1599). Basically, we don’t dream of this or that colleague, but rather, of being someone else.

Without espousing the totalitarian aspects of those asylums and prisons that Goffman studied in the United States, companies do constitute a unit of space and time where individuals can be temporarily cut off from the world, which follows a rhythm of its own, with its own codes.I’m going to need you to stay late tonight and pull some records so I can prepare for the DRC meeting tomorrow. Stay consistent with the white color scheme in your home workspace by adding this white feminine office desk. Decorate the white desk with a vase of pink roses to give it an extra feminine touch. Instead of choosing those cold sterile office chairs, opt for a Parisian-styled desk chair. As a single woman, Annabelle has ‘played’ with the men at these events, ‘as in I’ve got them erect and kept them erect, but not given a hand-job to completion. I like watching them complete.’ When Annabelle is in a relationship, she’ll take her partner to the event, and the only ‘playing’ will be with her partner – who will be off-limits to other women at the event.