NO! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Ogres are like onions! End of story! Bye-bye! See ya later. arriving at Duloc] Shrek: [observing a giant building] So, that must be Lord Farquaad's castle... Donkey: Uh-huh, that's the place. Shrek: Do you think he's maybe compensating for something? Fiona: The sooner we get to Duloc, the better! Donkey: Oh, you gonna love it there, Princess, it's beautiful! Fiona: And my groom-to-be Lord Farquaad, what's he like? Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess: men of his stature are in short supply. [chortles, washes his face] Donkey: Yeah! There are those who think little of him! [Shrek and Donkey laugh] Fiona: Stop it. Stop it, both of you! Y'know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad. Shrek: [grins] Maybe. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow! Fiona: [suddenly anxious] Tomorrow? Will it really take that long? Shouldn't we set up camp? Shrek: No, that'll take longer. Fiona: But there's... robbers in the woods! Donkey: [tense] Whoa, time out, Shrek! Campin' sure is startin' to sound like a good idea 'round here! Shrek: Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest- Fiona: [furious] I need to find somewhere to camp NOW! You know, I do too. That's another thing we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You'retrying to give them a hint, and they won't leave. And there's that big awkward silence you know? Personalisation: Each cake is skilfully finished by our own cake decorators and can be personalised to suit your own celebration or sent as a gift.

You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious! Hope you like nightmares, Killian! (Also, KILLian? This kid confirmed for serial killer in the making). Oh, you both have LAYERS. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions. CAKE! Everybody loves cake! Cakes have layers!

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Maybe if Shrek was put in a wind tunnel he’d look like this. But he hasn’t been, and doesn’t look like this. I have no further comment. Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, so I guess outside is best, you know. Here I go. Good night.

By night one way, by day another / Thus shall be the norm / Till you receive true love's kiss / then, take love's true form."

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Size & Servings: The cake shown is a 6 inchround top tier on a 10 inchround base. The whole cake sits on a 12 inch cake board. It serves up to 35 guests. So during my research on Shrek I came across a strange phenomenon. It seems that Shrek is a popular subject of birthday cakes. And why not? I mean, kids love it (and adults too!) so why not bake a cake of our Ogrelord? Shrek and Donkey are crossing a wooden bridge over a moat of lava] Donkey: Don't look down, keep on movin', don't look down, don't look down, keep on movin', don't look down... [a board under Donkey breaks, prompting Donkey] Shrek, I'm lookin' down! [screams] Oh!

Probably the most accurate attempt in this list. However, I doubt a one year old is going to be able to appreciate that fact. Shrek enters the tournament] Farquaad: What is that? It's hideous! Shrek: Well, that's not very nice. [gestures to Donkey] It's just a donkey.All right, all right, calm down. It's not so bad. You're not that ugly... well, you are. I ain't gonna lie, you ARE ugly. But you only look like this at night, Shrek's ugly 24/7! In a large bowl whip 2 cups butter on high speed, occasionally scraping down the sides of the bowl. Whip until double in volume. This takes a very long time, approximately 10 minutes. While still whipping, drizzle 1 cup of heavy cream. Continue whipping until the mixture is stiff, approximately 2 to 4 minutes. Add 1 cup of confectioner’s sugar and whip until smooth. At this point you can taste the frosting and determine if you would like to add more sugar to sweeten to taste. Oh wait, that was my 25th. It was made by my Mother and I think you’ll agree that it’s the best of the bunch. My Mother is a fantastic baker, and will literally make any cake you ask for. Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, angrily glares at Donkey] Donkey: Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them! Pinocchio: Oh, gosh, no one invited us. Shrek: What? Pinocchio: We were forced to come here. Shrek: By who?! Little Pig: Lord Farquaad! He hoofed und he poofed und he signed an eviction notice. Shrek: All right. Who knows where is Farquaad guy is? Donkey: Oh, I do. I know where he is. Shrek: Does anyone else know where to find him? Donkey: [atop the dragon after she swallows Farquaad] All right, nobody move! I've got a dragon and I'm not afraid to use it! I'm a donkey on the edge!

I mean, I do like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was born outside. I'll just be sitting by myself outside, I guess, you know. By myself, outside. This is more like it. This actually looks like Shrek (if you can’t tell, just compare it to the Shrek fairy cakes orbiting Shrek Prime). He’s almost too expressive though, in an ‘uncanny valley’ kind of way. Haunting. Shrek: [to Donkey] WHY are you following me?! Donkey: I'll tell you why. [sings] Cause I'm all alone. This is gonna be fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin'... I'm makin' waffles. A rare ‘full body’ Shrek. The proportions are all wrong though. But I do appreciate the happily jaunty angle.I don’t remember Shrek having huge feminine eyelashes. But hey, maybe this is fine. Artistic license and that. Maybe it’s for some poor chap with big bushy eyebrows and lady lashes, who gets called Shrek as an affection in-joke. Without knowing the whole story, who are we to judge. Something’s just clearly gone wrong here. It barely looks like anything, let alone Shrek. A cake that has truly gone wrong. Donkey's owner: [moves Donkey's lips] I can talk. I love to talk! I'm the talkin'est damn thing you ever saw. Captain: Get her outta my sight. Owner: No, no! I swear! He can talk! Donkey, there's no "we", no "our". There's just ME and MY swamp! And the first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.