In Mee Ok’s case, the trauma of separation and sexual abuse was so painful and alarming that she had to disconnect entirely from her memories and her emotional self. At some point, she learned that working hard and being useful was a safe way to gain acceptance. NERMEEN SHAIKH: And, Dr. Maté, you speak in the book about unresolved traumas. So, in the examples that you’re giving now, or indeed in the case of trauma more generally, if one can speak generally about trauma, what kinds of practices can lead, if at all, to the resolution of a trauma?

Human nature,” Maté points out, is a term normally used in a negative context. He disputes the idea that people are naturally aggressive and selfish, saying that these attributes are the product of a toxic society, whereas it is natural for humans to need connections with those around them. Children are profoundly influenced by their connection to parents and other caregivers, and studies have shown that those who receive more affection in their early years experience less anxiety and distress later in life. A child’s health is also profoundly affected on a physical level by the stress the mother experiences before and during childbirth. They would write comments in each patient’s chart like, “Probably has ALS, she is too nice,” or “No way, he is NOT nice enough.” To the astonishment of the neurologists, these predictions were almost always correct. The Myth of Normal” is a transformative and compassionate exploration of the concept of normality and its impact on individuals and society. Daniel Maté and Gabor Maté challenge societal norms, promoting a culture of acceptance and inclusivity. Through their expert insights and personal stories, they shed light on the harmful consequences of striving for an elusive idea of normalcy. This book invites readers to embrace their uniqueness and redefine their understanding of what it means to be “normal” in a diverse and complex world. About the Authors:In this revolutionary book,renowned physician Gabor Maté eloquently dissects how in Western countries that pride themselves on their healthcare systems, chronic illness and general ill health are on the rise.Nearly 70 percent of Americans are on at least one prescriptiondrug; more than half take two. In Canada, every fifth person has high bloodpressure. In Europe, hypertension is diagnosed in more than 30 percent of thepopulation. And everywhere, adolescent mental illness ison the rise. So what is really “normal” when it comes to health? Gabor Maté’s latest book is a guide to self-awareness, social insight and healing that is deeply personal and utterly transparent. It merits becoming this generation’s The Road Less Traveled. Written with fluid, crystalline prose, profound wisdom, great humor and hard-won humility, in my two-word summation The Myth of Normal is Fiercely Tender.” –William M. Watson, S.J., D.Min., President & Founder, Sacred Story Institute And in the book, I give many examples of people who are faced with serious diagnoses, written off by Western medicine, but they have a powerful transformation in their relationship to themselves. They regain that connection to themselves that they lost as a result of trauma. And as a result, their illness takes very surprising trajectories, sometimes miraculous. And so, in the book, I talk about women with rheumatoid arthritis or multiple sclerosis who are told that you’ve got this disease for the rest of your life, and it’s just a physical disease, nothing we can do about it. When they realize that both the rheumatoid arthritis and the multiple sclerosis have to do with trauma and stress, for which, by the way, there’s all kinds of research evidence, completely ignored in medical practice — but when they realize that how they live their lives, that the disease is not an accident, the disease is a manifestation of how they live their lives, informed by their unresolved trauma — when they deal with the trauma and they develop a different relationship to themselves, all of a sudden the disease lightens up for them, as you expect it would, once you realize that the mind and body are inseparable. AMY GOODMAN: Dr. Gabor Maté, the acclaimed Canadian physician and author, with his son Daniel, of the new book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture. Dr. Maté will be appearing tonight here in New York City at the 92nd Street Y, where he’ll be in conversation with Tara Westover, the author of Educated.

So what’s going on here? For Dr. Maté, it exemplifies what happens when two fundamental human needs – attachment and authenticity – are put in conflict. Attachment is your core need for emotional proximity and love. But you also need to be the author of your life, guided by a deep knowledge of your authentic self. RUSSELL BRAND:* So, you’re sort of a bit like in The Matrix when Neo sees everything’s made out of numbers. You look at people, and you see all their trauma and damage.b) Maté’s “toxic culture” of capitalism/colonialism (society dominated by a volatile economy driven by the singular, asocial value of private profits) forcing constant dislocation, colonizing communal social relations and leaving behind normalized alienation. split sense of self, perfectionism, hiding feelings, seeking love, He emigrated to Canada with his family in 1957. After graduating with a B.A. from the University of British Columbia in Vancouver and a few years as a high school English and literature teacher, he returned to school to pursue his childhood dream of being a physician. AMY GOODMAN: Democracy Now!, democracynow.org, The War and Peace Report. I’m Amy Goodman, with Nermeen Shaikh, as we continue our conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté, the acclaimed Canadian physician and author. We spoke about his new book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture.

In a moment, we’ll speak to Dr. Gabor Maté, but first I want to turn to a trailer of a documentary about his work titled The Wisdom of Trauma. The Myth of Normal is an astonishing achievement, epic in scope and yet profoundly down to earth and practical.I believe it will open the gates to a new time where we come to understand that our emotions, culture, bodies and spirits are not separate and wellness can only come about if we treat the whole being. I will read this book again and again.” –V (formerly Eve Ensler), author of The Vagina Monologues and The ApologyDR. GABOR MATÉ: Well, we need to begin right at the beginning. And the beginning is actually in the womb. Now, we already know, from multiple, multiple studies — not even controversial — that the more stress there is on pregnant women, the greater the impact, even decades later, on the well-being of the infant. So, how are we looking after pregnant women? The average physician — I mean, I was trained as a medical doctor — to this day, the average physician, when they’re trained in prenatal care, they’re not trained to ask about the woman’s emotional states. They’re not trained to ask about: “How are you doing? How is your relationship? How is your work stress? What can we do to support you?” We only look after the body, and we separate the mind from the body. We know that stresses on the woman can already have an impact on the infant. With these and many other discoveries, I saw hope, not doom. None of this is innate nor indisputable, everything I thought I knew about myself and what surrounds me is on trial and I am finally the judge. In particular, Dr. Maté calls on us to stop seeing disease as an expression of individual pathology. Instead, people with illness are a “living alarm,” calling attention to the fact that what passes as normal in this culture is neither healthy nor natural. And things that are abnormal – addiction, mental health, and illness – are actually a reasonable response to the conditions of trauma and stress that many of us live in. a) Peterson’s self-help to find personal meaning in Christian values while normalizing trauma to best fit into the meritocratic hierarchy. NERMEEN SHAIKH: Dr. Maté, could you elaborate on what you’ve been talking about now, namely the relationship between individual — the effects of an individual and social trauma? You said in a recent interview, quote, “Being left with an emptiness and insatiable craving creates addiction in the personal sense, and capitalism in the social sense.” And both these are taken to be coping mechanisms for the experience of trauma. If you could explain?

DR. GABOR MATÉ: Yes. So, healing, again, if you look at the word origins, which I often do, comes from a word for wholeness. So healing actually is a movement towards our wholeness. Now, if trauma is a split from ourselves, for example, a split from our bodies, as in the case of V, who had to disconnect from her body to survive her childhood, then healing is that reconnection with ourselves. And if trauma is not the terrible things that happened to us, but trauma is the wound that we sustained and are carrying, that’s a very positive message, because it means that that wound can be healed at any time. You see, if the trauma is what happened to me, now 77 years ago, that my mother gave me to the stranger, that will never not have happened. But if the trauma is what I made it mean, the wound that I sustained, that I wasn’t a lovable, worthwhile human being, that wound can be healed at any moment in all of us. Born in Budapest, Hungary in 1944, he is a survivor of the Nazi genocide. His maternal grandparents were killed in Auschwitz when he was five months old, his aunt disappeared during the war, and his father endured forced labour at the hands of the Nazis. The Myth ofNormal is a detailed and wide-ranging look at what we all need to know–but all too often fail to live into–when it comes to human health, sanity, maturation, and happiness. It’s also a clear-eyed examination of the benefits, triumphs, limitations, and blind spots of our health andmental health care system.” –Resmaa Menakem, bestselling author of My Grandmother’s Hands, The Quaking of America, and Monsters in Love

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This riveting and beautifully written tale has profound implications for all of our lives, including the practice of medicine and mental health.” —Bessel van der Kolk, MD, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score