As Ephesians 2:8 explains, we are saved by grace. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.”Even though we freely receive God’s gift of forgiveness,we often feel justified in holding onto unforgiveness towards others. But being unwilling to forgive reveals whether or not our hearts have truly been transformed and created as new creations in Christ. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” ( 2 Corinthians 5:17) I never used to go with him to the midnight mass. That started from when the children were small and I'd stay home with them and it just became the thing. But I'd wait up for him. When I heard the door I thought he must have forgotten his wallet or something. Even when I saw the police officers there and they told me Alan had had an accident and hurt his head, I just thought 'Oh he'll be wanting to get home as soon as he can'. Our daughter had just arrived from Mozambique and we hadn't seen her for two years. I drove to the hospital thinking I could bring him home."

The Persecuted Church can teach us something in the West. That is that they have learned to pray, forgive, and love their enemies within their persecution. For us, in the West, it is a challenge to love our families before we can progress to those who spitefully abuse us. This Christmas Season and into 2023, may I respectfully and humbly suggest that we all try and go the extra mile in kindness, forgiveness and courage towards others – we may be surprised how things turn out. In the midst of such doubt, the wisdom of Scripture and of the saints will ease our minds. In his book Introduction to the Devout Life, St. Francis de Sales explains that there is a difference between feeling temptation and consenting to it. The baby in the manger we celebrate this season is God in the flesh, come to give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45), so that all of us sinners who believe in Him can be reconciled to God the Father, and then live as His beloved children every day. Our Father in Heaven invites us all, His children, to give of and sacrifice for this love. “Give,” the Savior said, “and it shall be given unto you.” 4 “Freely ye have received, freely give.” 5 Why has Boris Johnson bought mistletoe this year? Because he’s tired of being in the single market!

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Further, love does not offend or hurt or injure the loved one. … Cruelty is as absent from love … as truth is from untruth. … Forgiveness is an act of the will. As long as we forgive with our will, then we do not need to worry about the temptations to unforgiveness that beset us. The pain of emotional injury might linger even after I have forgiven someone, just as the pain of heart surgery might still be felt even after a successful operation. Residual pain indicates the depth of the injury, not the level of forgiveness. After we have forgiven the person, we can pray for God to heal that pain just as we would pray for Him to heal a physical illness. And here he was, buried in their arms. The dream they had stopped dreaming. The son they thought they’d never meet.

I'm not saying I don't want justice for Alan, I did. But I had to carry myself in a way that would help my children. Forgiveness means you are not seeking retribution or vengeance. Forgiveness is recognising that we are all in the same boat, we're all the same, not perfect.Alan Greaves had taken early retirement from his job as a social worker to help his wife with her work as a lay preacher for the Church of England's outreach group, the Church Army. Three weeks before he died, he had seen one of his pet projects, a food and furniture bank for the needy, open after years of storing donations in the couple's garage. During the week as I was cleaning my old dolls, my mom asked me what I was doing with them. I explained what our Primary teachers had asked us to do, and she replied, “You should also give one of your nice toys to the children.” The story’s structure and Scrooge’s character development are engineered so that as Scrooge becomes aware of his own poverty and learns to forgive and listen to his buried conscience, he is able to see virtue and goodness in the other characters and rediscovers his own generosity – he even becomes a symbol of Christmas in the final stave.