I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"

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Brené Brown’s shame resilience theory is one good place to start. According to Dr. Brown, the elements of shame resilience are recognizing feeling shame and understanding shame’s triggers, practicing critical awareness, […] Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. However, achieving this kind of comprehension is not easy. To do that, you need to possess the ability to put yourself in the shoes of the other person and see things from their perspective. the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another” ~ Dictionary.com However, if we allow ourselves to get trapped into a constant avoidance of our true feelings, we are bound to become more alienated.

I Thought It Was Just Me Summary - Four Minute Books I Thought It Was Just Me Summary - Four Minute Books

This author's focus on sociological perspectives does not work for me, personally, and I will take care to steer clear of anything written by 'sociologists' in the future. Her diatribe, early in this book, on being more empathetic and less judgmental seemed out of place, unnecessary, and insulting (was she shaming the shamers? Or shaming the people reading this book, already riddled with feelings of inadequacy, and already sensitive to the feelings of others? I have no idea). And from experience, sharing shame stories may be a great thing, but sometimes the sharer really needs a professional ear. No matter how well meaning we may be, we are not qualified to say or do the right things to encourage healing. Now, hunger is an easy one, because it’s mostly physical, imagine how complex the situation becomes when you try to understand shame. In her initial research, Brené Brown interviewed over 300 people, after which she arrived at the following definition: However, regardless of its forms of manifestation, to be able to overcome shame, you need first to comprehend what triggers it. We talk about our feelings all the time, yet we know quite little about them. When you say “I’m hungry,” do you know where that hunger comes from? What happens in your body when you feel it? of the best ways to deal with this is by developing shame resilience. While that can be a long-term project, you can get started by remembering that you can feel shame […]to Brown, who has extensively researched the effects of shame and articulated Shame Resilience Theory, recognizing when you feel shame and why and talking about it is one of the most powerful things […] By recognising our shame screens, we can make alternative choices as shame screens do not work and can cut us off from what we want most in life – authentic connection with ourselves and others (which is why developing empathy is important). Laughter is the evidence that the chokehold of shame has been loosened. Knowing laughter is the moment we feel proof that our shame has been transformed. Like empathy, it strips shame to the bone, robs it of its power and forces it from the closet.”

I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) - Brené Brown

In the following summary, you will become more aware of it. So stay with us as we discuss this complicated feeling, its roots, and try to search for ways in which you can heal. Who Should Read “I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)”? and Why? Making “reaching perfection” our life’s purpose is wrong and exhausting. The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between “I am bad” (shame) and “I did something bad” (guilt). Shame is about who we are and guilt is about our behaviors.” Shame is a deeply painful sensation that stems from the belief that we’re not good enough, and that this shortcoming will prevent us from being accepted by and belonging to a group.As Brown points out, we are made for connection. And personally, for me, when I've attempted to form that connection, only to be rejected because others don't want to get down in the mess, it only deepens my shame and makes me become even more disconnected and withdrawn. shame is a silent epidemic, according to American researcher Brene Brown, it’s rarely mentioned as one of the strongest drivers of most behaviours on both individual and […] Casandra Brené Brown is an American research professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host. Brown is known in particular for her research on shame, vulnerability, and leadership. A long-time researcher and academic, Brown became famous following a widely viewed TEDx talk in 2010. Book details In this mode, the neocortex is bypassed and our acess to advanced, rational, calm thinking and processing of emotion all but disappears...we find ourselves becoming aggressive, wanting to run and hide and feeling paralyzed...”