Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood

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For open-minded readers, an exceptional narrative that champions the discovery of freedom in sexuality. But what would happen if everyone found out? What would they say if they knew what I had desired and, worse, saw that I had enjoyed it? They would talk about me, and then I’d be a girl who was talked about, and I would surely never make it up in the Rapture then.

Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood|Hardcover Rated X: How Porn Liberated Me from Hollywood|Hardcover

And that’s really where it comes from—the feeling that I should never grow up. I felt if I did, then I’d grow away from the story of my weakness and that special connection with my mom. I was acutely aware that if I could remain around the age of seven for the rest of my life, I would make my family proud. Seven, I thought, would be an age where when you danced around the living room in a Cinderella dress, they’d applaud you, but the glass slippers wouldn’t yet pose any real threat. It’s an odd thing to realize no one wants you to grow up when you’re actively doing that.I wasn’t supposed to want this, I was sure of that. This wasn’t David Hasselhoff or some Love in the Afternoon soap opera hunk. This was just some kid I knew. I was supposed to wait for some dazzling moment where the birds were singing, and violin music was playing, and a man in a tuxedo would give me my happily ever after. But Daniel was a boy, and I was a girl who didn’t quite feel like a girl anymore. And I wanted to feel like a real woman, if only for a few stolen moments on the grass.

Boy Meets World Actress Turned Porn Star Says Hollywood Is

I didn’t have a real orgasm until I was fourteen and had a mouth full of metal and neon rubber bands. It was entirely by accident on my Strawberry Shortcake canopy bed. They knew what we were up to,” Daniel said, pacing his room, as I just lay there with my nice hair and no follow-through. Listen,” I said. “Just so you know, this isn’t something all special and gushy.” I cringed as soon as I said “gushy.” “I mean, I just want to experience something for the first time, so I’ll never have to experience it for the first time again.” In my panties? I was nearly twelve and didn’t know anything about my vagina except that I peed from it and one day soon I’d bleed from it too. We didn’t do anything more than talk about sex or masturbation until we were thirteen and had already been inserting tampons for some months. We were in my grandmother’s guest room when something happened. She was sleeping over, and we wanted to feel what a real French kiss was like. We had bought some good panties at the mall, and we finally discovered what they did. They were scratchy, they rode up your butt, and we spent so much money on them we couldn’t go to a movie. But I liked the way she kissed me and how tingly I felt when her body was pressed to mine.My grandmother was always worried about everything, but mostly about God punishing her for doing something wrong. And when she was worried, she cleaned. She was in constant zigzag motion trying to avoid a lightning strike. It all stemmed from her father who took her out of school in the eighth grade. She said he didn’t like the teacher, and she said it like that was a valid reason. “He was a man of God’s word,” she would say as she washed each dish by hand in her sink. “And he brought us up right to obey.” And she never had a good night’s sleep because of it.

Rated X eBook by Maitland Ward | Official Publisher Page Rated X eBook by Maitland Ward | Official Publisher Page

She proceeded to explain how she did it, which involved wide, circular hip movements and some Nivea pump lotion. I just watched as the water whirlpooled around her as she demonstrated motions that looked less erotic and more like something that would earn fish at Sea World. “Next week,” she said, “I may try inserting a tampon.” Actress/model/cosplay personality Ward provides insight into the often taboo subject of pornography film entertainment with this title. While there are many other porn star autobiographies (from Jenna Jamison and Asa Akira among others), there are very few coming from the perspective of mainstream actresses crossing over into this genre. Ward started her acting career in her teens (notably the sitcom Boy Meets World). She details her experiences working in Hollywood, mentioning well-known names and the harsh realities of working in the industry. She speaks about her professional and personal life, weaving tawdry details about her sexual exploits along the way. As she ages, traditional film/television opportunities eventually dry up and her phone stops ringing. Through a natural desire for exhibition and the type of affirmation it provides, she slowly morphs into an award-winning adult film actress. Ward's honesty and reflection on the industry is often mixed with a steady sense of humor, but the details provided are not intended for those easily offended. VERDICT This memoir is an honest account of the transition from Hollywood to adult film actress. The explicit details provided and style of writing may limit its audience. —Gary Medina Library JournalHis grandmother thought he couldn’t handle such a hostile environment for middle school, so she found a smaller arrangement. I didn’t see him again until ninth grade. Somehow he forgave me for that assault on the schoolyard, and we talked in secret on the phone every night. An empowering, sex-positive, behind-the-scenes look at both Hollywood and the porn industry in this celebrity memoir unlike any other. Perfect for fans of Pleasure Activism and How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. Jesus watched over me through my childhood—not from some place of peace on a cloud but from a miniature gold-plated frame that my grandmother one day propped up on my dresser. Like, poof, all of a sudden there was a blond, blue-eyed Jesus right next to my David Hasselhoff lunch box and they were at odds. She said that this picture would bring me comfort. In fact, much like her father did for her, it kept me up at night. If I let you do it one time, really fast, do you promise not to say anything to anyone ever?” I had asked him on the phone a few nights prior. The line was silent for a moment, and then he said, “How fast?” I rolled my eyes and flipped onto my stomach on my bed. “Like regular speed but before I change my mind.” I had gone to that wedding. It was the kind of wedding I wanted, with pink flowers and Disney ice sculptures, and where the bride wears a dress with tiers like cake layers. They even brought her there in a carriage that sort of looked like Cinderella’s, if Cinderella rode in more of an SUV-type pumpkin arrangement. Everyone thought she was an angel. The ideal daughter. My dad wasn’t weird enough to do a purity dance, but wouldn’t he still want to see his daughter honest in white when she danced with him?

Rated X, released? When was Maitland Ward’s memoir, Rated X, released?

A rush of fear came over me, and I let out some version of a scream as I physically pushed Daniel away. That’s when my friend ran in and took him out hard and fast by the knees. I reached a deal with Jesus that night: he would keep my sin a secret from everyone, and I’d keep our PR game strong.Between both of them, my grandma and my mother, sex became a game of outrunning the enemy—namely, boys. I knew what to look for and how to escape. But what left me awake and guilty and praying to a little gold-rimmed photo of Jesus every night were the hormones that were raging inside me. The memoir of a former TV star who found freedom, success, and herself in the pornography industry. When I apologized to my picture of Jesus that night, I told him how sorry I was for giving in to my lust, but then I paused and said to Jesus, “But at least no one knows about it but us.” No,” she said, her laugh bubbling the water as she waded. “I mean when you touch it. My mom says it’s completely natural as long as you do it for yourself and don’t show anyone.” Maitland Ward got her start in acting as a teenager when she was cast in The Bold and the Beautiful, but it wasn’t until she joined the later seasons of the sitcom Boy Meets World that she got her first taste of fame. As the loveable, sexy (but not too sexy) co-ed Rachel McGuire, Ward soon found herself being typecast as the good girl next door and was repeatedly denied darker, more intriguing roles. So she made a career change—one that required her to turn away from the Disney universe—and eventually established herself as one of the most-respected actresses in the porn industry today.