Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.

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I wasn't expecting to enjoy this motivational book as much as I did, but it caught my attention as I was processing books at the library, and it turned out to be a great read for me at this juncture of my life. The author's voice and tone was great throughout the book, with just the right amount of humor mixed with serious insight into developing a relationship with yourself - whether you're already in a relationship with another person, newly single, or have been single for awhile. As the author claims, it's not an anti-relationship book, but rather a pro-relationship (with yourself) book. Prior, I haven't put much thought into being "single," I used to believe it didn't mean anything. This book will educate you that there is so much more to it. I have a friend named Dion. We’re working on a project together. There’s crazy sexual chemistry. Before you ask, no, he’s not good for me. I know this. But I can’t stop thinking about him. There's more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone = being lonely? And why do we stop working on ourselves when we're in a relationship? We have been programmed to believe that we have to find our “one” to be happy. That our lives are not complete unless we have a partner. With this mindset, we walk through life feeling incomplete or less than because we don’t have our person.

Work. Love. Happy. Healthy. Success. How do you define these today? Is working meaningful for you? Or do you dread getting up each day? What about love? From everything you’ve learned and been through, what is important to you when it comes to love? Do you have new non-negotiables?Do you put weight on different things? Healthy? What is healthy to you today? What about success? Is it still measured by the numbers in your bank or does it mean something else? If you do want to understand better ways to connect with yourself, and want to be comfortable being single, I recommend. He is absolutely correct that the richest soil for personal growth comes when you can focus completely on yourself and not lose yourself in someone else. I like that the the author understands the stigma around being single as well. It’s time to reframe the narrative of being single and embrace what I learned when I finally chose to be alone: My goal in writing this book is to start that process for you. To introduce you to you—for many of you, maybe for the first time. Okay, let’s put a bookmark there. Tell me about some of your other previous relationships. Would you like a coffee?

Deep inside, I knew I needed to be single. On purpose. I’ve been in relationships constantly since I was twenty-two, and I knew I needed to build a better one with myself before I could build anything healthy and meaningful with anyone else. I knew I needed to process my own shit. Break patterns. Find a sense of self. Not be codependent. And work on areas of my life other than love. Because there’s more to life than who we choose to love. It may not feel like that right now. But trust me, there is. I will not be with someone who does not champion my passions, my growth, my story and respect what I stand for It’s actually the best time to build a better you. Because when you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to put someone else before you. It’s easy to forget about your needs, what you want, what you deserve, and who you want to be. I’ve been single. Many times. I’ve struggled with loneliness. Rejection. Not believing I was desirable. I’ve tried dating myself again and again, and it was bullshit. The truth is, we’re humans and we’re not meant to do life alone. We want to love someone. And that’s okay. We’re biologically built that way. What’s not okay is losing ourselves because we don’t have someone to love. Or losing ourselves in the person we’ve chosen to love.

Doing things for the outcome rather than for the joy of the process disconnects you from yourself. You start chasing. You get desperate. You forget your “why.” But most importantly, you don’t allow yourself to be happy until you get what you want. And if that never comes, you never practice being happy.” The truth is, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Sure, a relationship can bring you lots of joy. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship—we’re all human. But a relationship is not required for you to be happy. It’s not the only way to find joy in your life. Your happiness isn’t contingent on loving someone else. That’s something that’s been programmed into you by movies, advertising, social norms, social media, and old blueprints. I love the way the story starts in the introduction. This book hooked me up, and I never knew there was a book like this. It is a highly recommended book for all, not just single people like me but everyone who wants to find themselves. Read more The importance of sitting into your body, exploring activities or movement that make you feel most like yourself, ie. For John it was tapping into his inner child via motorcycle rides and adrenaline rush. Find moments of peace throughout your day to body scan and clear out cobwebs of frustration or lower frequency vibesPDF / EPUB File Name: Single_On_Purpose_Redefine_Everything_Find_Yourself_First_-_John_Kim.pdf, Single_On_Purpose_Redefine_Everything_Find_Yourself_First_-_John_Kim.epub I will not be in a lopsided relationship where they don’t make space for me to hear my story and understand my emotions Sped through this one and thoroughly enjoyed listening on Audible. Also believe this is applicable for those already in relationships, like I am, or in any walk in life. Since I’m already a follower of John’s podcasts, it was comforting to hear him read through this self help book and enlightening to hear more nuggets of his personal journey & life lessons that he wove into this book. Very humanizing and enjoyed his vulnerability and openness. Few takeaways: My Review - This book came in right when It was needed most in my life. Not because of any relationship issues but because I felt a loss of connection with myself. Let me tell you at the utmost that this book is not about singlehood or specifically for people not in a relationship with another human. This book is about bonding with oneself. No matter the reader is single or in a relationship or anything. The book talks about how important it is for oneself to have a real connection with themselves before having anything with someone else. No matter the status of the relationship, one must know, understand and prioritize their own relationship with their inner self than any other. That's how one can rejoice in every other bond. And that's what made me attracted to this book. I too agree with the thing about our relationship with self-being the most prioritised relation than any other in our life. A few chapters did feel bonkers and the reader is the one to either adapt or trash them. The quotes, the life experiences of the author and his patients is what gave this book a real-life catalogue of stories that can be related here and their by us. This thing made the book much more unique and relatable by me and probably to you too if you choose to read so. May it be a hard break up or lonely singlehood or happily ever after a relationship or joyfully singlehood, I recommend this book to all those feeling a bit lost and trying to find themselves in the hush and bush of everything.

I’ve had hundreds of sessions just like this. Different stories, but all the same. It’s why I wrote this book. We don’t know how to be single. It’s a journey most do not embark on. I was in a nine-year relationship with someone verbally abusive. Then another one that was a nightmare, well, not in the beginning, but you know... Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS “self-help in a shot glass” approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. First, we must get rid of one of the greatest misconceptions about life, the idea that you can’t be happy unless you are with someone. I’ve coached thousands of singles over the years, and every single one of them believed when they came to me that they couldn’t be happy unless they found a partner. Unless they were married. Unless they had someone to come home to. Their singlehood meant they were incomplete or defective. Less than. They believed there was something wrong with them. What I like most about Kim's message in this book is to change what we control in the face of singlehood (or relationships) and that is ourselves. We need to stop hoping for these past traumas, voids and holes in our selves to be filled or patched up by the company of others and find ways to fill them by ourself for ourself.I think there are nuggets in here like don't tie your self worth to being in a relationship. But pretty much after that it reads like fix these things to be in a relationship albeit more healthy relationship. Having sex, go explore every crayon What. A book that doesn't focus on friendships, building community, or concrete ways to be comfortably being single seems like a missed opportunity. Essentially section 2-4 was all about f**king. I get it, I think sex is super important but this book was nothing more than a very weird reflection of bad relationships, bad sex, toxicity, do drugs, and exercise. I wonder if I'm the wrong demographic bc cross fit was lost on me and brought up a lot. With that being said words like grieving, trauma, and self worth were used but I would not recommend most of the advice. This book is not about being single. This book is about what to do while you're single to get in a relationship. It's not the same. Singlesness is a valuable time period and relationships can be healthy but not a priority. Also can we talk about how asexuality completely missed. I hate it.