The Worlds Best Women Jokes

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You're so ugly that when you tried to enter an ugly contest the judges said, "sorry, no professionals". They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy. 12. A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?” Why did the blonde woman have bruises covering her belly?!? Because her boyfriend was blonde too... How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, but don’t worry, the glass ceiling lets in so much light.

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about. Did you hear about the guy who dated Supergirl and Wonder Woman? Turns out, he was a heroine addict When I see your face there is not one thing that I would change, apart from the direction that I was walking in. The first ten years of a girls life is spent playing with barbies. The next ten years is spent trying to look like one.Simple," says the soldier and drops his trousers, takes them off, rolls them into a ball and rubs them on the door. A woman who lived next door to a preacher was puzzled by his personality change.At home he was shy, quiet and retiring, but in the church he was a real fire orator, rousing the masses in the name of God. It was as if he were two different people. Yes I have gained weight, I have also gained more brains, do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more. Even someone who is no good is capable of putting a smile to your face, like when they’re falling down the stairs after you pushed them

Imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men, like, “Cool story, bro, now go chop some wood.” jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. A woman placed an ad in a news paper. 'I am looking for a male partner who needs to meet these three requirements. A skydiver doesn’t even need a parachute. But he needs a parachute if he wants to skydive a second time. Little Johnny asks his dad: "How much does it cost to get married, dad?"; his dad replies: " Well, son, I'm not too sure, you see, I am still paying for it."'I asked a pregnant woman if I could feel the baby She said that I could, but once I started rolling my sleeve up past my elbow she ran away. Rude. The second woman takes a closer look at the man. Then she turns to the first woman and says, "You are right. He isn't your husband."

After 12 years in prison, a man finally breaks out. When he gets home, filthy and exhausted, his wife says, “Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago!”' upvotes Follow Unfollow 1 year ago (edited) Dots Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017 One day in math class little Johnny's teacher asked him to look out the window, where three birds were sitting on a fence. She then asks "Johnny, if I shoot one of those birds how many are left?" Johnny replies "None, they would all have flown away when they heard the gun shot." The teacher smiles and says "The correct answer was two, but I like the way you think." If your fam is perpetually busy, but could definitely use some laughs in the middle of all that hustle, write down a “Joke of the Day” on the kitchen whiteboard, and your kids will look forward to reading corny jokes each and every day. I identify with football players because I know what it is like to spend your whole life training for a large, jewel-encrusted ring.'The man is found guilty and made to pay damages. After the trial, he asks the judge, Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig? He writes, “Head was found on the main avenew.” Then he crosses it out. “Head was found on the main avenoo.” He crosses that out too. “Head was found on the main avineu.” He shakes his head and crosses that out as well. You are so poor that when you were walking down the road with one shoe on and somebody asked you "did you lose a shoe?" you replied "no I found one". The doctor replies, 'Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them.'

You are so poor that on hot summer days you wave a popsicle around in the air to air condition your house. He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife, pointing a finger in her face, he said,Women have certain qualities (or at least tell their boyfriends they have certain qualities) that are irresistible to men. That’s why they go out with them in the first place. Women are funny and make jokes just as good as men do. Here are some funny and dirty joke compilations for all of you ladies. You might want to read them when your man is not around. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. Insult jokes are funny mean jokes and mean insults which make fun of someone, the joke may make fun of someone's appearance but there are many other ways to offend someone and that is exactly what an insult joke does.