Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are

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This week we look a Abraham and Lot, Paul and Barnabas, Jesus and Judas. When done appropriately, some goodbyes give relationships the space necessary to possibly heal and get better over time. One way to really protect yourself from bad relationships is to build your relationship with God by spending time working on yourself. Sometimes when we don’t understand ourselves and our needs, we worry that God won’t be enough to fill the emptiness we’re feeling. This can lead to seeking out that fulfillment in other people. Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you based on how responsible they'll be with that access. Lysa TerKeurst understands this dance with dysfunction and wants to be your insightful, compassionate friend who will teach you that it isn't unloving to set a boundary, and it isn't unchristian to say goodbye. You'll be relieved to learn that boundaries aren't just a good idea, they're a God idea. The book consists of twelve chapters, each covering a nuanced thought or concern in establishing boundaries with the people one loves. However, Terkeurst’s writing style tends to create overlap between the subject matter in each chapter, making them hard to distinguish from each other. Nevertheless, a glance at the chapter titles instantly shows the reader what they can expect to learn from this book.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Los…

Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary? Are Christians ever called to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer safe or sustainable? Lysa has asked these hard questions in the midst of her own relational struggles. On the other hand, when Adam and Eve – and by extension, all of humanity – were cast out of the garden, they were given guidelines for restoring our relationship with God. Goodbyes can be for a season or forever. And you may not get to know which is which.Unfortunately, achieving better relationships isn’t the finish line of a well-run race. In fact, it’s an ongoing process … and the name of that process is life.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Los… Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Los…

Healthy relationships have healthy boundaries, which function like good walls with working gates. Our job as the “watchman” over our own lives is to avoid the two extremes of having either 1) walls with no gates (keeping everyone out, even those who wish us well) or 2) no walls at all (letting ev... Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized scriptures that perpetuate unhealthy dynamics in difficult relationshipsA consequence must be clearly stated and firmly adhered to. If you fail to follow through on the consequence, the other person will see your consequence as an empty threat. Someone resistant to your boundaries may accuse you of being hard-hearted, of making threats or ultimatums, or of taking things too seriously. It feels like it's written to a very niche audience (wives struggling to draw boundaries in regard to their repeatedly unfaithful husbands), but marketed to a much broader audience. Each year, Lysa is a featured keynote presenter at more than 40 events across North America, including the Women of Joy Conferences and the Catalyst Leadership Conference. She has a passion for equipping women to share their stories for God's glory through Proverbs 31 Ministries' annual She Speaks Conference and writer training program, COMPEL: Words That Move People. Once again Lysa wrote a book that was exactly what I needed when I needed it. Love this woman and will always refer to and recommend her books. Terkeurst’s book is highly respectful of her faith and people. As a Christian author, Terkeurst constantly finds ways to work-in respect for God; this may turn away some readers, but this is perfectly acceptable for her target audience. Additionally, despite her experience, Terkeurst does not talk about people, spouses, or those who hurt her in a disrespectful way. Instead, she expresses hope that those who cause harm grow and find emotional healing. I came out of this book feeling hopeful for myself and others, and I think most other readers will have a similar experience.

Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing

I also got the sense from this book that Terkeurst is here to fight for her readers and their well-being. Early on, she states, “This isn’t a book about leaving people. It’s a book about loving people in the right and healthy ways. And it’s about communicating appropriate boundaries and parameters so that love can stay safe and sustainable.” Terkeurst does suggest that a person leave those who refuse to respect their boundaries, but this is a last resort. But overall, she encourages her readers to see worth in themselves and to fight for their relationships in healthy ways.Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are Skip to main content Toggle menu Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is not the kind of book one necessarily goes out of their way to read for entertainment or enjoyment. It is for someone going through a hard time looking for answers. I was not in such a situation while reading it. I went into this book to see what was so significant about it. Simply put, I did not find it enjoyable because it is not designed to be an enjoyable read. Despite this not being the book's goal, others will still find it incredibly helpful. And you also have to see yourself as being just as sufficient for God’s love as other people are. If you’re giving too much in your relationships because you believe it’s the Christian thing to do, you’re not alone in your misunderstanding of Christ’s command to forgive – more on that in a little while.